I know it has been almost two weeks since my last update, but man has that time gone by fast. Without further ado, I will fill you in on what's going on...
1. I have a new running partner. Okay, so we actually have only done walking lately (we'll cover this in the next point), but still. It's funny how life works out, but I actually live in the same neighborhood as a friend from school, Laura. I have made a commitment to this half marathon and she has made a commitment to getting up early during the week, and even on the weekends to run with me. I will have to admit - it's nice. I am usually unable to carry on a conversation while exercising, but I told her that if she can keep up her end and a lot of mine, we'll be good. So far it's working for us. =) There's something nice about not only feeling like I've told everyone I know, some folks I don't know, and posted all over Facebook that I'm doing this, but knowing that she is counting on me to show up each day. It's that whole accountability thing. If you don't think you need it - well, you're wrong. Oh yeah, we've got this. Plus, it's good to know that our houses are spaced out (6 tenths of a mile one way from my house - and 4 tenths of a mile the other - yeah, y'all know I clocked it) so if during the longer days I feel like I'm about to die from needing water, some one's house is close. Now if we can just recruit her friend that also lives in our neighborhood, we'll have water stops all over the place. Shoot, even if her friend doesn't run, just makes sure to water her grass while we run by, and can run through, she might end up with a special place in my heart. ha!
2. Remember our previous discussion about the appropriate running attire? Remember how important that decision is? Well, I failed - epically - in the shoe department. The last time I bought shoes, I went to this store in town, Running Wild, and had them fit me for shoes. BEST. DECISION. EVER. However, three or four years later, I thought I would do it on my own. I really wanted the Nike+ shoes that you can put the iPod sensor in to track all my statistics. I went to Shoe Station, found the Nike+ shoes, realized they didn't have my size - and they sure didn't have a wide shoe - so I bought a half size larger than normal thinking I could make it work. Let's just say...shoes, like relationships, don't work like that. If it doesn't fit today - it's not going to fit tomorrow. No matter how hard you try, you'll just be left with tears, scars, and a pain in the....well, we'll go with foot. Yeah, foot. However, I'm no quitter, right? Right. So I ended up running/walking 12 miles in those shoes.
Last Thursday night was a turning point for me. I sat on my couch and glared over to the door where the shoes were sitting and I'm telling you - the shoes smirked back. It's then that I realized in the contest to break in the shoes...the shoes were winning. The shoes were breaking me - with no hope of me breaking them. I had a blister on my toe the size of a quarter, a cut on my heal, and three or four other toes that looked like they had been run over with a lawn mower. I made a decision. I went and got the box out of the recycling, packed those bad boys back in them, and put them in the car to take back to Shoe Station. I figured if they took them back - great...if not, oh well - I'd donate them to someone else's cause and drive myself to Running Wild anyway. Well, low and behold, they took them back. I limped out of the store and on to Running Wild.
If you've never been to Running Wild - let me tell you - that place is a runner's dream. Clothes, GU (that's a story in itself), shoes, gadgets...you name it - they have it. If they don't have it, they'll order it. Here's the deal: You go in, tell someone you're looking for shoes, they have you roll up your pants and walk the length of the store, maybe jog a little bit, pull out a foot measure and measure your feet, skip off to the back room and come out with three or four boxes of shoes for you. You sit down, they do all the work. You just have to say which feels the best. The first pair he put on, I really felt like the heavens parted and the angels sang the Hallelujah chorus. I was in love. However, I went ahead and tried several other pairs - only to end up with the first pair. They didn't have a wide in stock, but he ordered it for me and I bought a handy little pouch to hold my iPod sensor...problem solved. Now, you don't really know the price on the shoes when you're trying them on, so I was nervous. Surely shoes that feel as great as these did are about to put a hole in my wallet. I remembered that I would be running over 500 miles between then and the 5k and decided to for once go with comfort over price. He rang them up and I was surprised to learn that they were only $20 more than the other shoes I had returned. Oh, and so incredibly worth it. I have made a pact with myself....just like I will never again Nair my armpits (see a previous blog), color or cut my own hair, or admit to having had a crush on Hoss from Bonanza (y'all, he was a super nice character), I will never again buy running shoes that aren't the right ones for me.
My shoes weren't due to come in until Thursday, so I had to wear my old New Balance until then and decided that walking would be better than running. Yesterday I got the call that they had come in early, went and picked them up, and walked in them this morning. Y'all I'm seriously about to get my run on. Okay, okay...let's be honest....I'm seriously about to get my run/walk on. The point is that whatever I'm about to do...it's on!
3. For those of you wondering what it's like to undertake this, let me say - I am not looking at the big picture now. I am looking at the picture for today. Today I most definitely cannot run 13.1 miles, so I don't think I about that. Today I think my schedule says I have to do 5 minutes more today than yesterday - oh, I can so do that! Guess what? Come November 5th all those extra 5 minutes are going to add up to one great moment where I will accomplish what I would have not previously thought possible. If you are wondering if you can do something - even if it's not a half marathon - get up and do a small something today. Just like the road you are on in life, it's rarely monumental events that brought us where we are, but small, maybe even seemingly inconsequential decisions, that add up to shape us into who we are.
4. My last thought today is this...I weighed yesterday, and I am down over 23 pounds now. That is exciting. I still have a long way to go, but just like the half marathon, I am not looking at this as a major number that needs to be conquered, but a small change today which will bring me where I want to be. That being said, I laughed loudly today when putting on my wonderful running pants. Inside the back of the pants - where the label is printed - is also the name of the maker of the pants, with their slogan "Greatness Within"...I thought "Oh goodness, y'all have noooooo idea the greatness within these things. hahahaha! Oh well, soon the greatness within will be a little less noticeable on the outside, but a whole lot more cemented on the inside of who I am.
Well crud....I had one more thought. I burst through the door yesterday morning, and thought "Hmmmm, I sound familiar. I sound like someone I've seen on tv or a movie before". Then it dawned on me - daggum, if I wasn't doing an amazing impression of Wheezy off Toy Story. The fact that I had my black running pants on, with the white decorative part - which I affectionately call my Shamu pants because they look like something the trainers at Believe in Sea World wear to train the animals - only solidified my resemblance to that wonderful character. hahahahha!!!
This is a beautiful life.
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Saturday, May 14, 2011
We're About To Cross That Line...
Too much information, TMI, excessive sharing, crossing the line - however you want to say it, this entry is probably going to go there. I considered not sharing, but being as I have decided to try to blog all aspects of this half marathon thing, I figured I'd go ahead. Plus, if you are considering doing something active, but are unsure you can, I would like for you to read these entries and know that if I can - you can, too.
In general there are three body types for women:
1. The ones who carry their weight in their top
2. The ones who carry their weight from the hips down
3. The ones who carry their weight pretty evenly
Truth is, I only know one or two people who naturally (yes, that means minus implants) fall into the #3 category. Whether we are tall, short, thin, or not so thin, we all know which body type we are. Well, and if you know me - it is very obvious which one I fall into. As a matter of fact, I told someone not too long ago that when I run I sometimes wish they made a sports bra for my behind. Yes, I did say that....more than once.
Tonight I met a friend for a movie and since it was an early movie, I thought I'd drive to TJ Maxx after and look at some new running clothes. Even a novice runner knows that probably the two biggest factors in how well you do with your running are your shoes, and your clothing choice. After all, who wants to be pulling their shirt down, or for that matter, adjusting their shorts when all you really want to be thinking about is whether one more mile will actually kill you or not.
I stood there in TJ Maxx, sorting through all kinds of bright colored exercise clothes, and tried to decide on what I would try on. Here's my main problem. I really like those sports bra shirt things (yeah, I don't know the technical term), but if I get one small enough to work up top, the bottom part of the shirt rides up over my hips - and when I say "rides", I really mean "rolls", to where - if I'm not careful - I could end up looking like I'm running down the road in a sports bra with extra material rolled up under my boobs. Nice visual, huh? If I get one that fits over my hips, well - let's just say there is no way that will work to do the job up top. So, while I know these are not life changing decisions, it seemed to be taking FOREVER to find what I was looking for. I found a couple that looked like they might do the trick and went to look at pants.
Now, here's the thing - in my opinion there are only two types of workout pants for me. Either the kind I am always trying to adjust because the material is bunching up in places that don't need bunching or those that are tight, but at least they stay in place. As for shorts...yeah, that's not happening. Even knee length shorts have a tendency to end up looking like those short running shorts on me before I'm a quarter of a mile down the road. I carefully studied the tags and went for the fabrics that say they wick away the sweat, and offer UV protection, looked around to see who was watching, grabbed a couple of pairs of pants, added it to my tops and went off in search of the changing room.
I thought I would start with the top. I get it on, and low and behold I think it's going to do the trick. I reach for the pants and brace myself. I start to tug them on and realize that what we really have here are Spanx that are being marketed as running pants. If you are uncertain what Spanx are, well, you're probably a man. However, let me take this opportunity to fill you in. Spanx are a tight body shaper pair of pants that are supposed to help make your clothes look better. They are designed to hold everything you have in place. They are not supposed to be worn to run down the road. Alas, I start thinking...
"Kim" - I say to myself - "What is more important? Looking good or being comfortable when you run? Do you really care if you look like you encased yourself in sausage casing, threw on a tank top, and decided to run down the road? Do you really care if your neighbors either laugh while peeking out the window or decide to hold an emergency HOA meeting to address this issue?"
For a moment, I heard my inner vain voice speak up and say "Um, yes. Yes, I do. I do care that the neighbors are going to think I put on the bottom half of a wet suit and decided to go for a jog". Then I heard the other voice say "Nice. You decide to get vain now? You couldn't have done that all those times you pulled up to the Wendy's drive-thru window and order the #1, add cheese, with a diet Coke - because you hate to drink your calories? That would have been the time to speak up".
So, I squelched vain inner Kim, and went with practical, comfortable Kim. I also reminded myself that the plan is to run before most people are awake. Of course, now I have to know: Will the shirt actually stay down while running? Well, there's only one way to find that out. I look down and realize that the changing room walls do not extend all the way to the ground, and I am in a crowded dressing room, wearing my favorite brown Yellow Box flip flops, running pants, and a tank top sports bra shirt. Oh well. I decide to jog in place. Jogging went well. So, I decided to high step jog in place. That went well, too. After all my jogging in place, I make a decision. I'm buying the pants, lime green top, a tank top that is also supposed to wick away sweat, and going back for one more top....after the dressing rooms on each side of me clear out. I didn't want to have someone unexpectedly take my picture with their phone and put it on FB as the strange woman who was jogging in place at TJ Maxx. =)
I am home now, wearing - yep, you guessed it - my new running clothes. I took a couple of jogs around the living room and am still pleased with my purchases. I realized that I pretty much did get a sports bra for my behind. I haven't had thighs this firm feeling in well.....probably never. ha! Of course, I also thought "What happens if I have some kind of medical emergency and my pants need to be removed?" Followed quickly with "Um, what the heck kind of medical emergency would require my pants being removed?" Good point...good point. Needless to say, I certainly hope that never happens, but if it does - I pray the paramedic has a sharp pair of scissors, and a very steady hand.
In general there are three body types for women:
1. The ones who carry their weight in their top
2. The ones who carry their weight from the hips down
3. The ones who carry their weight pretty evenly
Truth is, I only know one or two people who naturally (yes, that means minus implants) fall into the #3 category. Whether we are tall, short, thin, or not so thin, we all know which body type we are. Well, and if you know me - it is very obvious which one I fall into. As a matter of fact, I told someone not too long ago that when I run I sometimes wish they made a sports bra for my behind. Yes, I did say that....more than once.
Tonight I met a friend for a movie and since it was an early movie, I thought I'd drive to TJ Maxx after and look at some new running clothes. Even a novice runner knows that probably the two biggest factors in how well you do with your running are your shoes, and your clothing choice. After all, who wants to be pulling their shirt down, or for that matter, adjusting their shorts when all you really want to be thinking about is whether one more mile will actually kill you or not.
I stood there in TJ Maxx, sorting through all kinds of bright colored exercise clothes, and tried to decide on what I would try on. Here's my main problem. I really like those sports bra shirt things (yeah, I don't know the technical term), but if I get one small enough to work up top, the bottom part of the shirt rides up over my hips - and when I say "rides", I really mean "rolls", to where - if I'm not careful - I could end up looking like I'm running down the road in a sports bra with extra material rolled up under my boobs. Nice visual, huh? If I get one that fits over my hips, well - let's just say there is no way that will work to do the job up top. So, while I know these are not life changing decisions, it seemed to be taking FOREVER to find what I was looking for. I found a couple that looked like they might do the trick and went to look at pants.
Now, here's the thing - in my opinion there are only two types of workout pants for me. Either the kind I am always trying to adjust because the material is bunching up in places that don't need bunching or those that are tight, but at least they stay in place. As for shorts...yeah, that's not happening. Even knee length shorts have a tendency to end up looking like those short running shorts on me before I'm a quarter of a mile down the road. I carefully studied the tags and went for the fabrics that say they wick away the sweat, and offer UV protection, looked around to see who was watching, grabbed a couple of pairs of pants, added it to my tops and went off in search of the changing room.
I thought I would start with the top. I get it on, and low and behold I think it's going to do the trick. I reach for the pants and brace myself. I start to tug them on and realize that what we really have here are Spanx that are being marketed as running pants. If you are uncertain what Spanx are, well, you're probably a man. However, let me take this opportunity to fill you in. Spanx are a tight body shaper pair of pants that are supposed to help make your clothes look better. They are designed to hold everything you have in place. They are not supposed to be worn to run down the road. Alas, I start thinking...
"Kim" - I say to myself - "What is more important? Looking good or being comfortable when you run? Do you really care if you look like you encased yourself in sausage casing, threw on a tank top, and decided to run down the road? Do you really care if your neighbors either laugh while peeking out the window or decide to hold an emergency HOA meeting to address this issue?"
For a moment, I heard my inner vain voice speak up and say "Um, yes. Yes, I do. I do care that the neighbors are going to think I put on the bottom half of a wet suit and decided to go for a jog". Then I heard the other voice say "Nice. You decide to get vain now? You couldn't have done that all those times you pulled up to the Wendy's drive-thru window and order the #1, add cheese, with a diet Coke - because you hate to drink your calories? That would have been the time to speak up".
So, I squelched vain inner Kim, and went with practical, comfortable Kim. I also reminded myself that the plan is to run before most people are awake. Of course, now I have to know: Will the shirt actually stay down while running? Well, there's only one way to find that out. I look down and realize that the changing room walls do not extend all the way to the ground, and I am in a crowded dressing room, wearing my favorite brown Yellow Box flip flops, running pants, and a tank top sports bra shirt. Oh well. I decide to jog in place. Jogging went well. So, I decided to high step jog in place. That went well, too. After all my jogging in place, I make a decision. I'm buying the pants, lime green top, a tank top that is also supposed to wick away sweat, and going back for one more top....after the dressing rooms on each side of me clear out. I didn't want to have someone unexpectedly take my picture with their phone and put it on FB as the strange woman who was jogging in place at TJ Maxx. =)
I am home now, wearing - yep, you guessed it - my new running clothes. I took a couple of jogs around the living room and am still pleased with my purchases. I realized that I pretty much did get a sports bra for my behind. I haven't had thighs this firm feeling in well.....probably never. ha! Of course, I also thought "What happens if I have some kind of medical emergency and my pants need to be removed?" Followed quickly with "Um, what the heck kind of medical emergency would require my pants being removed?" Good point...good point. Needless to say, I certainly hope that never happens, but if it does - I pray the paramedic has a sharp pair of scissors, and a very steady hand.
Kick Off Week...
Disclaimer - If you're not wanting to read about sports bras, running pants that ride up, blisters on feet, dry heaving in public, etc...you probably don't want to follow my half marathon journey. =) Sure, all of those things haven't happend quite yet, but I'm just warning you before we get too far along.
Almost a week has passed since I made the committment to run a half marathon. During that time, a few things have happened. First, I have told pretty much everyone I know - and even some people I don't know - because nothing helps you stick to a program quite like having a ton of people know you're supposed to on it and asking how it is going. Second, I bought a book about marathon training, and found a plan to get me from where I am today, to where I will be in November. Third, after much thought, I decided to go ahead and transition from HMR to Weight Watchers.
This week has gone pretty well. I started out slow - only ran/walked 4 days. I bought new shoes, the Nike+ system, and remembered how much I do actually like running/walking outside.
Here is my schedule for next week. Each new week starts on Sunday, and since the plan is for 20 weeks, for the first few weeks I will just repeat the week before. Because last week was kind of my easing into it week, tomorrow will be the first day that I am on the real plan.
Sunday, May 15 - Run/Walk 35 Mins
Monday, May 16 - Rest
Tuesday, May 17 - Run/Walk 35 Mins
Wednesday, May 18 - Run/Walk 40 Mins
Thursday, May 19 - Cross Train or Walk 45 Mins
Friday, May 20 - Rest
Saturday, May 21 - Run/Walk 45 Mins
As you can see, at the early stages this is really not any more than what I'm already doing. Two days of rest, five days of interval running/walking. With this program, I won't transition from minutes running/walking a day, to miles until sometime this Summer.
Another thing happened this week...my neighbors got to see me in a whole new way. A way that included breathing hard, sweating it out, almost cursing out loud, and talking to myself. Yeah, I'm pretty sure some of them are concerned about my mental stability and that concern is guaranteed to increase over the next six months.
You know what? Just like it felt great to make a committment to a healthier me by dropping some weight, it feels wonderful to have made this goal. I will see both become a reality - this year - and that is an amazing feeling.
It will be hard some days. I will be grumpy some days. I will want to cry and give up some days. I will wonder if I lost my mind some days....BUT.....
I will NOT give up. I WILL keep running. I CAN do this. I AM strong enough.
And yes, I'm smart enough and gosh darnit people really do like me!!! ha!
Almost a week has passed since I made the committment to run a half marathon. During that time, a few things have happened. First, I have told pretty much everyone I know - and even some people I don't know - because nothing helps you stick to a program quite like having a ton of people know you're supposed to on it and asking how it is going. Second, I bought a book about marathon training, and found a plan to get me from where I am today, to where I will be in November. Third, after much thought, I decided to go ahead and transition from HMR to Weight Watchers.
This week has gone pretty well. I started out slow - only ran/walked 4 days. I bought new shoes, the Nike+ system, and remembered how much I do actually like running/walking outside.
Here is my schedule for next week. Each new week starts on Sunday, and since the plan is for 20 weeks, for the first few weeks I will just repeat the week before. Because last week was kind of my easing into it week, tomorrow will be the first day that I am on the real plan.
Sunday, May 15 - Run/Walk 35 Mins
Monday, May 16 - Rest
Tuesday, May 17 - Run/Walk 35 Mins
Wednesday, May 18 - Run/Walk 40 Mins
Thursday, May 19 - Cross Train or Walk 45 Mins
Friday, May 20 - Rest
Saturday, May 21 - Run/Walk 45 Mins
As you can see, at the early stages this is really not any more than what I'm already doing. Two days of rest, five days of interval running/walking. With this program, I won't transition from minutes running/walking a day, to miles until sometime this Summer.
Another thing happened this week...my neighbors got to see me in a whole new way. A way that included breathing hard, sweating it out, almost cursing out loud, and talking to myself. Yeah, I'm pretty sure some of them are concerned about my mental stability and that concern is guaranteed to increase over the next six months.
You know what? Just like it felt great to make a committment to a healthier me by dropping some weight, it feels wonderful to have made this goal. I will see both become a reality - this year - and that is an amazing feeling.
It will be hard some days. I will be grumpy some days. I will want to cry and give up some days. I will wonder if I lost my mind some days....BUT.....
I will NOT give up. I WILL keep running. I CAN do this. I AM strong enough.
And yes, I'm smart enough and gosh darnit people really do like me!!! ha!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
I Press Towards the Mark...
This morning started out simple enough. Yes, it is Mother's Day, but yesterday was Johnny's day with JD, so I knew I had some time this morning before JD got here. I got up, checked the food level in Cheese and Crackers' dish, poured a drink, and sat down to check in on what was happening with everyone on Facebook. I read all the status updates about mothers, even a couple about my mother. As it is, today is also the 11th anniversary of the day my mother passed away. I was determined to count all my blessings.
A short while after logging in, a post showed up on my wall. A post that would change my day.
It was a harmless enough looking post. It was put on there from a friend who is determined to raise money for cancer research. You see, her husband has been diagnosed with cancer and she decided to run a half marathon in November to honor him and raise money. No problem. I almost immediately chimed in with the response that she would get my financial support. You see - her husband has a special place in my heart. I won't go into the details, as his story is not mine to tell, but suffice to say that I have no problem admitting my love for both of them.
Just a short time after responding with my financial support, I found myself hitting send on a rather shocking post to her wall. I found myself telling her that I would train with her. I would train and run the half marathon in November. WHAT? No, seriously....WHAT? Do y'all know how unathletic I am? Y'all do realize I was the drum major in the band in high school - that does not equal athlete. Yes, I've done some 5ks, and yes, I get on my treadmill, but this is a different level. This is a committment to run for over 2 hours.
Actually, it is more than that. It is a committment to dedicate myself to an incredible journey. It is a committment to stand (or maybe fall out) at the finish line one day in November, and hug them, and know that without a doubt, I am supporting them in a way that is beyond my comfort zone. It is beyond something I could have even imagined saying I would do yesterday....or even 5 minutes before I spoke up and volunteered to do it. It is me - going beyond what I am currently physically capable of - pushing myself towards the mark.
It is for my friend, as we believe in a cure. It is for my friend, Nan, who four years ago this month lost her 3rd and final battle with cancer. It's for all the people who crossed my path when I worked in radiation oncology. It is for the dads, sons, mothers, and daughters who have lost their fight - the ones that are still fighting and standing strong - and the ones of us, who while we have never heard that diagnoses for ourselves, we are angry at having to hear that for even one more person. We do not accept that cancer will take another person we love.
So, tonight, I went to Barnes and Noble and picked up the book "The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide For Women", and tomorrow I will start putting one foot in front of the other. I will not think about completing 13.1 miles. I will think about completing the next step. I will think of my friend and his amazing wife. And one day in November, I will show up a stronger person.
I will press towards the goal. Oh, and I'm sure I'll blog about it along the way. Are y'all ready? Break out those running shoes...it's time to get my run on.
A short while after logging in, a post showed up on my wall. A post that would change my day.
It was a harmless enough looking post. It was put on there from a friend who is determined to raise money for cancer research. You see, her husband has been diagnosed with cancer and she decided to run a half marathon in November to honor him and raise money. No problem. I almost immediately chimed in with the response that she would get my financial support. You see - her husband has a special place in my heart. I won't go into the details, as his story is not mine to tell, but suffice to say that I have no problem admitting my love for both of them.
Just a short time after responding with my financial support, I found myself hitting send on a rather shocking post to her wall. I found myself telling her that I would train with her. I would train and run the half marathon in November. WHAT? No, seriously....WHAT? Do y'all know how unathletic I am? Y'all do realize I was the drum major in the band in high school - that does not equal athlete. Yes, I've done some 5ks, and yes, I get on my treadmill, but this is a different level. This is a committment to run for over 2 hours.
Actually, it is more than that. It is a committment to dedicate myself to an incredible journey. It is a committment to stand (or maybe fall out) at the finish line one day in November, and hug them, and know that without a doubt, I am supporting them in a way that is beyond my comfort zone. It is beyond something I could have even imagined saying I would do yesterday....or even 5 minutes before I spoke up and volunteered to do it. It is me - going beyond what I am currently physically capable of - pushing myself towards the mark.
It is for my friend, as we believe in a cure. It is for my friend, Nan, who four years ago this month lost her 3rd and final battle with cancer. It's for all the people who crossed my path when I worked in radiation oncology. It is for the dads, sons, mothers, and daughters who have lost their fight - the ones that are still fighting and standing strong - and the ones of us, who while we have never heard that diagnoses for ourselves, we are angry at having to hear that for even one more person. We do not accept that cancer will take another person we love.
So, tonight, I went to Barnes and Noble and picked up the book "The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide For Women", and tomorrow I will start putting one foot in front of the other. I will not think about completing 13.1 miles. I will think about completing the next step. I will think of my friend and his amazing wife. And one day in November, I will show up a stronger person.
I will press towards the goal. Oh, and I'm sure I'll blog about it along the way. Are y'all ready? Break out those running shoes...it's time to get my run on.
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
When I Was 16....
I'm sure it's because my birthday is coming up, but I have found myself thinking back over my years, and I realize that as of Monday I will be 16 years past that 16 year land mark that seemed so huge (and soooo far away) at one time.
When I was 16, I got my first "real" job working at McDonald's in Pace. I remember the store manager telling me that anyone who applied for a job on their birthday, which was during Spring Break, was definitely getting hired. He says "I'd love to have your smile working behind that counter". I left excited and nervous - and having totally forgotten to ask what the pay was. ha! Yes, I was 16 and working at McDonald's. Oh, and the pay was $4.25 a hour by the way.
When I was 16, I had the hugest crush on someone who I refuse to name for his sake - and if you know his name, which if you knew me then there was no way to not know, you don't mention his name either. =) I remember wondering who would be my first prom date, who would I marry, what kind of names would I pick out for my kids....and being so sure that if this person would just give me a chance it would be amazing. Yes, I was 16 and knew just what I needed to make my life perfect.
When I was 16, I was working on being the drum major of the band and hoping that I would get that chance. It really was my main goal and I wanted to do whatever it took to get there. Beyond that, I didn't really have a ton of goals, but on this one, my mind was set. Yes, I was 16 and decided that my goals were up to me to reach.
When I was 16, I was sure that every other girl on the planet was cuter than I was. My chest was too small, my hips were too large, and my size 4 waist was too pudgy. I figured out that girls in magazine were what I wanted to look like. Yes, I was 16 and thought for sure I was fat.
When I was 16, I was sure there wasn't a problem I couldn't solve, a friend I couldn't make, a story I hadn't already heard. Yes, I was 16 and already on my way to knowing all there ever was to know.
16 years after working at McDonald's, I look back and realize that job taught me a lot. It taught me how to work with people who were different from me, how to smile at a customer when I wanted to punch them, how to wipe down trays like a pro, and made me make a pact with myself to NEVER EVER allow my child to have a birthday party at McDonald's. =)
16 years after being sure that my life would have been perfect with that unnamed person, I realize that for many reasons that would have never happened. A year later, I met JD's dad (while working at McDonald's -so I guess that's something else working there gave me...ha!). Two years later we were married, we had JD, and for a while we had a marriage. I've loved, been broken hearted, I've been made whole again. Yes, 16 years later, I realize that life isn't made perfect by a person and I look forwarding to one day being in love again.
16 years after being wanting to be drum major, I look back on my time as drum major with fond memories. I realize that in the grand scheme of my life, that won't be the biggest thing I've achieved, but it was what helped me learn how to work hard to accomplish my goals. My goals now involve being a great mom to JD, making a difference in other's lives, and smaller things like planning vacation. Yes, 16 years later - it still feels amazing to realize a goal.
16 years after being so sure I was hugely fat, I laugh at that thought now. Sweet Lord, if my 16 year old self had a picture of my 32 year old self, she would've really started exercising young. =) I also realize that I am so much more than what the scale says. I'm confident, relaxed in who I am, and able to see the bigger picture. Yes, 16 years later, although I am working on losing weight - I am happy with who Kim is on the inside....and that is so important.
16 years after knowing it all, I've learned that you cannot predict what life has in store for you, but you can take those things - whether gifts or trials - and you will look back and see how your road has been paved and shaped by those experiences. You make a decision to lie down and give up, or give it to God, and rise above. I've learned that there are things I am not equipped to handle on my own, there are people who will not like me, and there are questions I can't answer. Yes, 16 years later, I've learned that I am still learning each day.
So, 16 years later, I have a son who will be a teenager this year, who already talks about things like "when I get to drive", or "when I go to college". I have a life that looks nothing like what I pictured, but in some ways more amazing than anything I could imagine, and I look forward to what is in store.
At the end of the day, the one thing I'm most sure about 16 years later, is that I wouldn't go back to 16 for anything. I'm thankful that with age and experience comes the ability to appreciate where you are. So, bring on the laugh lines, the forehead wrinkles, and the crow's feet - I plan on earning each one. =)
When I was 16, I got my first "real" job working at McDonald's in Pace. I remember the store manager telling me that anyone who applied for a job on their birthday, which was during Spring Break, was definitely getting hired. He says "I'd love to have your smile working behind that counter". I left excited and nervous - and having totally forgotten to ask what the pay was. ha! Yes, I was 16 and working at McDonald's. Oh, and the pay was $4.25 a hour by the way.
When I was 16, I had the hugest crush on someone who I refuse to name for his sake - and if you know his name, which if you knew me then there was no way to not know, you don't mention his name either. =) I remember wondering who would be my first prom date, who would I marry, what kind of names would I pick out for my kids....and being so sure that if this person would just give me a chance it would be amazing. Yes, I was 16 and knew just what I needed to make my life perfect.
When I was 16, I was working on being the drum major of the band and hoping that I would get that chance. It really was my main goal and I wanted to do whatever it took to get there. Beyond that, I didn't really have a ton of goals, but on this one, my mind was set. Yes, I was 16 and decided that my goals were up to me to reach.
When I was 16, I was sure that every other girl on the planet was cuter than I was. My chest was too small, my hips were too large, and my size 4 waist was too pudgy. I figured out that girls in magazine were what I wanted to look like. Yes, I was 16 and thought for sure I was fat.
When I was 16, I was sure there wasn't a problem I couldn't solve, a friend I couldn't make, a story I hadn't already heard. Yes, I was 16 and already on my way to knowing all there ever was to know.
16 years after working at McDonald's, I look back and realize that job taught me a lot. It taught me how to work with people who were different from me, how to smile at a customer when I wanted to punch them, how to wipe down trays like a pro, and made me make a pact with myself to NEVER EVER allow my child to have a birthday party at McDonald's. =)
16 years after being sure that my life would have been perfect with that unnamed person, I realize that for many reasons that would have never happened. A year later, I met JD's dad (while working at McDonald's -so I guess that's something else working there gave me...ha!). Two years later we were married, we had JD, and for a while we had a marriage. I've loved, been broken hearted, I've been made whole again. Yes, 16 years later, I realize that life isn't made perfect by a person and I look forwarding to one day being in love again.
16 years after being wanting to be drum major, I look back on my time as drum major with fond memories. I realize that in the grand scheme of my life, that won't be the biggest thing I've achieved, but it was what helped me learn how to work hard to accomplish my goals. My goals now involve being a great mom to JD, making a difference in other's lives, and smaller things like planning vacation. Yes, 16 years later - it still feels amazing to realize a goal.
16 years after being so sure I was hugely fat, I laugh at that thought now. Sweet Lord, if my 16 year old self had a picture of my 32 year old self, she would've really started exercising young. =) I also realize that I am so much more than what the scale says. I'm confident, relaxed in who I am, and able to see the bigger picture. Yes, 16 years later, although I am working on losing weight - I am happy with who Kim is on the inside....and that is so important.
16 years after knowing it all, I've learned that you cannot predict what life has in store for you, but you can take those things - whether gifts or trials - and you will look back and see how your road has been paved and shaped by those experiences. You make a decision to lie down and give up, or give it to God, and rise above. I've learned that there are things I am not equipped to handle on my own, there are people who will not like me, and there are questions I can't answer. Yes, 16 years later, I've learned that I am still learning each day.
So, 16 years later, I have a son who will be a teenager this year, who already talks about things like "when I get to drive", or "when I go to college". I have a life that looks nothing like what I pictured, but in some ways more amazing than anything I could imagine, and I look forward to what is in store.
At the end of the day, the one thing I'm most sure about 16 years later, is that I wouldn't go back to 16 for anything. I'm thankful that with age and experience comes the ability to appreciate where you are. So, bring on the laugh lines, the forehead wrinkles, and the crow's feet - I plan on earning each one. =)
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Fully Committed or Making Excuses?
As a note...I started this blog at 6:30, but got distracted....ha!
I'm sitting on the couch, having just finished a salad, (okay it was really a bowl of organic spring mix and carrots - Thanks Jessica for leaving the carrots in my fridge...ha!), and feeling the satisfaction of being fully committed to something.
As a follow up to my event last week, I made the decision to make a full commitment to getting serious about my health. For me, that includes not only getting serious about exercising, but serious about my nutrition. After researching several plans, I've decided to go with the HMR program through the Medical Center Clinic. There are no shots, pills, etc...just revamping the way you eat through shakes, meals, and plenty of fruits and veggies. Oh, and did I mention, a per day exercise goal?
It dawned on me that I'm good at making commitments in some areas of my life, but very bad on the follow through in this area. I've had to do some soul searching on why this is, and I've come to some conclusions, but at the end it adds up to excuses. I've made excuses to myself - i.e. I'm too tired to cook, exercise...It's only one cheat meal....I deserve a cheeseburger after the week I've had...It's my birthday and I should get whatever I want...It's Mother's Day....It's Wednesday. Yeah, I think you get the point. At the end of the day, it's just excuses. If you know me at all, you would not say that I may excuses for things in my life, but I had to admit that this has just been full of one excuse after the other.
So, Wednesday night, I went to bed knowing that Thursday would be my first day on the plan. To be honest, I was kind of nervous. I was nervous I would be hungry and feel like cheating. I was nervous I would disappoint myself again. I was nervous that at the end of the day, I would make one more excuse that would leave me sitting on the couch, wondering why I failed again. However, something changed that Thursday morning....
That morning, I woke up with this thought on my mind "Commit your way to the Lord". Of course, my next thought way "Don't I already do that?" Followed by a startling thought..."Um, if you did that in all areas, would you be thinking there are other areas that need to be committed?"....Yeah, I know...I had this conversation with myself....more like a debate. Do I commit, don't I commit?
I decided to start this program with a new frame of mind. Each day, I will get up and commit this day unto the Lord. I will commit these efforts to Him. You know what? Thursday wasn't bad, Friday was better, Saturday was over before I knew it, and now it's Sunday night. It's amazing how much better you can feel when you get up and commit. I am making a commitment to act with purpose in achieving this goal. I will do my best, one day at a time, to become a healthier, more disciplined person...for myself, JD, my friends, co-workers, etc. I will believe in my heart that this is something I can accomplish, and I will take the steps necessary to follow through.
Don't be surprised if I blog about it...Wednesday is my first weigh-in and first class, so I'll try to follow up with my progress. All in all...I am excited. Excited about what tomorrow holds...excited about committing each day to being healthier me.
I'm sitting on the couch, having just finished a salad, (okay it was really a bowl of organic spring mix and carrots - Thanks Jessica for leaving the carrots in my fridge...ha!), and feeling the satisfaction of being fully committed to something.
As a follow up to my event last week, I made the decision to make a full commitment to getting serious about my health. For me, that includes not only getting serious about exercising, but serious about my nutrition. After researching several plans, I've decided to go with the HMR program through the Medical Center Clinic. There are no shots, pills, etc...just revamping the way you eat through shakes, meals, and plenty of fruits and veggies. Oh, and did I mention, a per day exercise goal?
It dawned on me that I'm good at making commitments in some areas of my life, but very bad on the follow through in this area. I've had to do some soul searching on why this is, and I've come to some conclusions, but at the end it adds up to excuses. I've made excuses to myself - i.e. I'm too tired to cook, exercise...It's only one cheat meal....I deserve a cheeseburger after the week I've had...It's my birthday and I should get whatever I want...It's Mother's Day....It's Wednesday. Yeah, I think you get the point. At the end of the day, it's just excuses. If you know me at all, you would not say that I may excuses for things in my life, but I had to admit that this has just been full of one excuse after the other.
So, Wednesday night, I went to bed knowing that Thursday would be my first day on the plan. To be honest, I was kind of nervous. I was nervous I would be hungry and feel like cheating. I was nervous I would disappoint myself again. I was nervous that at the end of the day, I would make one more excuse that would leave me sitting on the couch, wondering why I failed again. However, something changed that Thursday morning....
That morning, I woke up with this thought on my mind "Commit your way to the Lord". Of course, my next thought way "Don't I already do that?" Followed by a startling thought..."Um, if you did that in all areas, would you be thinking there are other areas that need to be committed?"....Yeah, I know...I had this conversation with myself....more like a debate. Do I commit, don't I commit?
I decided to start this program with a new frame of mind. Each day, I will get up and commit this day unto the Lord. I will commit these efforts to Him. You know what? Thursday wasn't bad, Friday was better, Saturday was over before I knew it, and now it's Sunday night. It's amazing how much better you can feel when you get up and commit. I am making a commitment to act with purpose in achieving this goal. I will do my best, one day at a time, to become a healthier, more disciplined person...for myself, JD, my friends, co-workers, etc. I will believe in my heart that this is something I can accomplish, and I will take the steps necessary to follow through.
Don't be surprised if I blog about it...Wednesday is my first weigh-in and first class, so I'll try to follow up with my progress. All in all...I am excited. Excited about what tomorrow holds...excited about committing each day to being healthier me.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Learning to Relax...
Relaxing is something you would think comes naturally. I mean, how hard is it to come home, change clothes, and lie on the couch for a while? That's relaxing, right? Not if you're me. You see, I've come to the conclusion that I have a very hard time turning my mind off. I might be sitting on the couch, but I'm thinking about my budget, what's for dinner tomorrow night, an email I need to send, if cat food is on sale, if JD finished his homework, what time I need to get on the treadmill, am I going to actually get some sleep tonight...okay, I think you're seeing the point.
I have always thought of myself as someone who is able to multi-task and handle stress like a pro (on very little sleep - I might add). However, I learned the hard way this week that is not necessarily true. Or, even if it is, you can't maintain it forever.
Wednesday morning started like most of my mornings the last three weeks - out the door early, so I could be out with some of our field employees when they got to work (which is generally 6 a.m.). I drove out to Milton, collected some paper work from employees, drove back downtown and was at my desk working by 8:30 or 9:00. On the outside I looked okay, but on the inside I had been hiding a secret.
The weather was absolutely horrible Wednesday, so Bill, Mallory, and I decided to go downstairs to the restaurant in our building for lunch. As we are sitting there - it happens. I had a sharp chest pain to the point that I could not hide it from them that something was wrong. My chest hurt, I was suddenly out of breath and felt light headed. After trying in vain to assure them that everything was okay. I finally spilled the beans. Much to my friends' horror, I explained to them that I had been having a weird pressure feeling in my chest for over two weeks and that on Tuesday night, I started having sharp chest pains. When asked why I hadn't said anything I calmly explained that I didn't want people to think I was stupid, overreacting, or just being a wuss. After all, I'm only 31. I'm too young to have heart problems, right? Okay - we all know that was just lame talk.
Needless to say, both of them were pretty upset. It came down to the fact that I needed to call our nurse or I'm sure one of them was going to take care of that for me. I call the nurse, and of course, she advises that I go to the ER for treatment. Well, for those of you who don't know, my friend, Laura, is over the surgical unit for Baptist hospital, so I called her and explained that I would be coming down.
When I get to the ER, they take my blood pressure and the machine starts making funny noises. The nurse asks how long I've had high blood pressure, to which I answered, never. Never have I had the slightest issue with my blood pressure. I was just at the doctor on February 14th and it was fine. Well, it wasn't fine now. It was 197/99. We took it again. It was 200/100. We took it again. It was 199/100. At this point, I no longer feel stupid for being there, just foolish for not having told someone sooner.
After an EKG, blood work (which they couldn't find my veins so I was stuck 5 or 6 times before they were able to get a sample), being monitored for several hours, etc...the doctor came to this conclusion: I have got to relax. Seriously. He gave me something to lower my blood pressure and told me that I really need to get some rest, and relax.
So, that is my new goal for 2011. I will find a way to relax. I will learn how to turn my mind off. I will start taking care of myself and not denying that I have a problem. The truth is that if one of my friends told me they had been feeling the way I was for over two weeks, I would have been TICKED! They would not have been able to come up with an excuse good enough to explain why they hadn't said something. So, I will learn how to take better care of myself. The same type care I expect my family and friends to be taking with themselves.
On that note - I bowed out of the McGuire's 5k tomorrow. Not because I don't want to do it, but because I really need to get some rest. I plan on hanging out with JD all day, watching movies, taking naps, playing Wii, almost anything but work. As a matter of fact, it's only 9:30 now, but there's a great chance I'm going to get in bed in about 15 minutes. =)
This is a beautiful life. I don't ever want to have to go through what I did on Wednesday again. I might have finally scared myself into learning how to take it down a notch.
I have always thought of myself as someone who is able to multi-task and handle stress like a pro (on very little sleep - I might add). However, I learned the hard way this week that is not necessarily true. Or, even if it is, you can't maintain it forever.
Wednesday morning started like most of my mornings the last three weeks - out the door early, so I could be out with some of our field employees when they got to work (which is generally 6 a.m.). I drove out to Milton, collected some paper work from employees, drove back downtown and was at my desk working by 8:30 or 9:00. On the outside I looked okay, but on the inside I had been hiding a secret.
The weather was absolutely horrible Wednesday, so Bill, Mallory, and I decided to go downstairs to the restaurant in our building for lunch. As we are sitting there - it happens. I had a sharp chest pain to the point that I could not hide it from them that something was wrong. My chest hurt, I was suddenly out of breath and felt light headed. After trying in vain to assure them that everything was okay. I finally spilled the beans. Much to my friends' horror, I explained to them that I had been having a weird pressure feeling in my chest for over two weeks and that on Tuesday night, I started having sharp chest pains. When asked why I hadn't said anything I calmly explained that I didn't want people to think I was stupid, overreacting, or just being a wuss. After all, I'm only 31. I'm too young to have heart problems, right? Okay - we all know that was just lame talk.
Needless to say, both of them were pretty upset. It came down to the fact that I needed to call our nurse or I'm sure one of them was going to take care of that for me. I call the nurse, and of course, she advises that I go to the ER for treatment. Well, for those of you who don't know, my friend, Laura, is over the surgical unit for Baptist hospital, so I called her and explained that I would be coming down.
When I get to the ER, they take my blood pressure and the machine starts making funny noises. The nurse asks how long I've had high blood pressure, to which I answered, never. Never have I had the slightest issue with my blood pressure. I was just at the doctor on February 14th and it was fine. Well, it wasn't fine now. It was 197/99. We took it again. It was 200/100. We took it again. It was 199/100. At this point, I no longer feel stupid for being there, just foolish for not having told someone sooner.
After an EKG, blood work (which they couldn't find my veins so I was stuck 5 or 6 times before they were able to get a sample), being monitored for several hours, etc...the doctor came to this conclusion: I have got to relax. Seriously. He gave me something to lower my blood pressure and told me that I really need to get some rest, and relax.
So, that is my new goal for 2011. I will find a way to relax. I will learn how to turn my mind off. I will start taking care of myself and not denying that I have a problem. The truth is that if one of my friends told me they had been feeling the way I was for over two weeks, I would have been TICKED! They would not have been able to come up with an excuse good enough to explain why they hadn't said something. So, I will learn how to take better care of myself. The same type care I expect my family and friends to be taking with themselves.
On that note - I bowed out of the McGuire's 5k tomorrow. Not because I don't want to do it, but because I really need to get some rest. I plan on hanging out with JD all day, watching movies, taking naps, playing Wii, almost anything but work. As a matter of fact, it's only 9:30 now, but there's a great chance I'm going to get in bed in about 15 minutes. =)
This is a beautiful life. I don't ever want to have to go through what I did on Wednesday again. I might have finally scared myself into learning how to take it down a notch.
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