Well, after a great start to the year, and really blogging consistently about my weight loss journey, I fell off the blogging band wagon. Truthfully, that is not the only band wagon I fell off.
Since February, a lot of things - some great, some not so great - have transpired around here. In April, JD went to a state competition in Orlando and advanced to World Finals, which in turn meant we went to Iowa for a week in May. Not only did I spend the month between Orlando and Iowa stressing out over what would eventually be an amazing financial blessing from God, I spent that month pretty much eating how I wanted - when I wanted. June came, with a complete lack of motivation and feeling down on myself, but determined to get in back together come July. Well....July started with the death of a co-worker - completely unexpected and utterly devastating to me as this person decided to take his own life, and then a few days later, another employee was killed on the job. Needless to say, it seemed as if July went by in a whirlwind of funerals and sadness. However, come August, I knew it was time to crack back down. Not only had I sadly gained back the weight I lost, but I was completely in a rut. Not just physically, but spiritually as well.
One Sunday, I decided to do something drastic. I made a plan to train and run my first marathon. That's right, on Sunday August 12, 2012, I committed to training and running a full marathon in October of 2013. Now some of you might think that this is crazy. However, I completed the half marathon and I know that if I put the time in, I will complete the full. Yet, this commitment isn't just to running. It is about reminding myself who I am. I am not a failure. I am not someone who will struggle with weight loss for the rest of her life. I am someone who is taking control. I know that to complete the marathon and do it in a healthy way, I will have to lose some of this weight I am carrying around. Well, I am looking at it as not only losing some physical weight, but losing some emotional weight, too. I have realized that I am not overweight because of a medical issue, or because of a lack of knowledge; I am overweight because of a heart issue.
I find that I struggle with admitting out loud - or at least in written word - when I am down or feeling defeated. I think I struggle with that because I know how blessed I am, so when I do feel down I then start to feel guilty. Yes, it is a vicious cycle. Yet, I have decided to blog here and just be completely honest with where I am. I also think that I sometimes feel like others have bigger things they are going through and it is selfish of me to want something different when I know how absolutely great I do have it.
So, I'm back...and determined to allow God to work in all areas of my life - not just the easy ones.
This really is a beautiful life.
