Too much information, TMI, excessive sharing, crossing the line - however you want to say it, this entry is probably going to go there. I considered not sharing, but being as I have decided to try to blog all aspects of this half marathon thing, I figured I'd go ahead. Plus, if you are considering doing something active, but are unsure you can, I would like for you to read these entries and know that if I can - you can, too.
In general there are three body types for women:
1. The ones who carry their weight in their top
2. The ones who carry their weight from the hips down
3. The ones who carry their weight pretty evenly
Truth is, I only know one or two people who naturally (yes, that means minus implants) fall into the #3 category. Whether we are tall, short, thin, or not so thin, we all know which body type we are. Well, and if you know me - it is very obvious which one I fall into. As a matter of fact, I told someone not too long ago that when I run I sometimes wish they made a sports bra for my behind. Yes, I did say that....more than once.
Tonight I met a friend for a movie and since it was an early movie, I thought I'd drive to TJ Maxx after and look at some new running clothes. Even a novice runner knows that probably the two biggest factors in how well you do with your running are your shoes, and your clothing choice. After all, who wants to be pulling their shirt down, or for that matter, adjusting their shorts when all you really want to be thinking about is whether one more mile will actually kill you or not.
I stood there in TJ Maxx, sorting through all kinds of bright colored exercise clothes, and tried to decide on what I would try on. Here's my main problem. I really like those sports bra shirt things (yeah, I don't know the technical term), but if I get one small enough to work up top, the bottom part of the shirt rides up over my hips - and when I say "rides", I really mean "rolls", to where - if I'm not careful - I could end up looking like I'm running down the road in a sports bra with extra material rolled up under my boobs. Nice visual, huh? If I get one that fits over my hips, well - let's just say there is no way that will work to do the job up top. So, while I know these are not life changing decisions, it seemed to be taking FOREVER to find what I was looking for. I found a couple that looked like they might do the trick and went to look at pants.
Now, here's the thing - in my opinion there are only two types of workout pants for me. Either the kind I am always trying to adjust because the material is bunching up in places that don't need bunching or those that are tight, but at least they stay in place. As for shorts...yeah, that's not happening. Even knee length shorts have a tendency to end up looking like those short running shorts on me before I'm a quarter of a mile down the road. I carefully studied the tags and went for the fabrics that say they wick away the sweat, and offer UV protection, looked around to see who was watching, grabbed a couple of pairs of pants, added it to my tops and went off in search of the changing room.
I thought I would start with the top. I get it on, and low and behold I think it's going to do the trick. I reach for the pants and brace myself. I start to tug them on and realize that what we really have here are Spanx that are being marketed as running pants. If you are uncertain what Spanx are, well, you're probably a man. However, let me take this opportunity to fill you in. Spanx are a tight body shaper pair of pants that are supposed to help make your clothes look better. They are designed to hold everything you have in place. They are not supposed to be worn to run down the road. Alas, I start thinking...
"Kim" - I say to myself - "What is more important? Looking good or being comfortable when you run? Do you really care if you look like you encased yourself in sausage casing, threw on a tank top, and decided to run down the road? Do you really care if your neighbors either laugh while peeking out the window or decide to hold an emergency HOA meeting to address this issue?"
For a moment, I heard my inner vain voice speak up and say "Um, yes. Yes, I do. I do care that the neighbors are going to think I put on the bottom half of a wet suit and decided to go for a jog". Then I heard the other voice say "Nice. You decide to get vain now? You couldn't have done that all those times you pulled up to the Wendy's drive-thru window and order the #1, add cheese, with a diet Coke - because you hate to drink your calories? That would have been the time to speak up".
So, I squelched vain inner Kim, and went with practical, comfortable Kim. I also reminded myself that the plan is to run before most people are awake. Of course, now I have to know: Will the shirt actually stay down while running? Well, there's only one way to find that out. I look down and realize that the changing room walls do not extend all the way to the ground, and I am in a crowded dressing room, wearing my favorite brown Yellow Box flip flops, running pants, and a tank top sports bra shirt. Oh well. I decide to jog in place. Jogging went well. So, I decided to high step jog in place. That went well, too. After all my jogging in place, I make a decision. I'm buying the pants, lime green top, a tank top that is also supposed to wick away sweat, and going back for one more top....after the dressing rooms on each side of me clear out. I didn't want to have someone unexpectedly take my picture with their phone and put it on FB as the strange woman who was jogging in place at TJ Maxx. =)
I am home now, wearing - yep, you guessed it - my new running clothes. I took a couple of jogs around the living room and am still pleased with my purchases. I realized that I pretty much did get a sports bra for my behind. I haven't had thighs this firm feeling in well.....probably never. ha! Of course, I also thought "What happens if I have some kind of medical emergency and my pants need to be removed?" Followed quickly with "Um, what the heck kind of medical emergency would require my pants being removed?" Good point...good point. Needless to say, I certainly hope that never happens, but if it does - I pray the paramedic has a sharp pair of scissors, and a very steady hand.
