I will have to say that the best gift I've been given is my son. Shocking, huh? I bet y'all couldn't have guessed that one. =) Just ask my co-workers, they pretty much know that I'm all about some JD. Let's be real - just ask anyone who has known me for more than 5 minutes.
So, in that I'm going to start by telling you some things that I cannot do for JD...some of these will be trivial, and some not so much...
I cannot, right at this moment take JD on an expensive vacation, he's not getting an iPhone anytime soon, can't run out and buy him anything his little heart desires, and not matter how I try, I will never be able to be both mama and dad to him. That's just not possible.
However, let me tell you some things I can do....
I can sit with him and watch TV (whatever he wants to watch), talk about video games, cook dinners for him, teach him to cook dinner for me, tuck him in at night, sing to him in the morning, help him with his homework, dry his tears when he cries, teach him about love by showing him love and by even correcting him, listen to his opinions, play board games, go for walks, and many more things that money can't buy.
It seems lately that I have been sadden by some people's approach to parenting. Now trust me when I tell you that there are only two pieces of parenting advice that I will ever give:
1. If you make every decision with your child in mind you can't really fail. Meaning that - no matter what - if you do what is best for your child (including discipline) then I don't think you can fail as a parent.
2. You have to realize that you are raising an adult. You aren't raising a child. You are raising someone you want to be a productive, well adjusted, adult one day. They just start out in mini form. ha!
However, sometimes I think people mistakes being able to buy everything for their children with being a great parent. Okay, who wouldn't want to just be able to hand their children everything? Okay, who would also admit that the things you value the most are things you've worked hard to obtain? So, maybe our kids don't need everything to be happy...they just need one thing. Us. It's that simple. They just need us to invest our time into them. It's a simple concept really. Take one child add some parents (or one parent if that's all there is) and add some time. It will equal moments that you will not be able to replace.
I will say that I probably value my time with JD now even more so than I did when I was a stay at home mom. Even though I wouldn't have thought that possible then, I can see now that I always assumed things would be the way they were. I would be a stay at home mom, JD would go to school and I would be waiting for him at the bus or volunteering with his class. I never dreamed that I would share custody with his dad and be a full time employee - full time mom. It's been hard sometimes to balance that "I've got to get to work" with "I want to sit on this couch and just make time stand still while we talk and watch cartoons". My mother's guilt comes out at some of the strangest times, but you know what? I think if you asked JD he would tell you 100% there is no doubt I love him and care about his everyday life.
So, I know this has been rambling on, and I know that I am not a perfect parent. Shoot, I've made mistakes. Yes, I've allowed JD to eat chocolate pudding for breakfast. However, I just wanted to put a reminder to myself - and to anyone else who might come across this - that our children are our biggest future investment. I don't want to look back one day and think of this poem:
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"
I want to look at my son one day and know that I soaked up every minute that I could. I want to remember that the future is coming fast enough - today should be enjoyed now.
