As a note...I started this blog at 6:30, but got distracted....ha!
I'm sitting on the couch, having just finished a salad, (okay it was really a bowl of organic spring mix and carrots - Thanks Jessica for leaving the carrots in my fridge...ha!), and feeling the satisfaction of being fully committed to something.
As a follow up to my event last week, I made the decision to make a full commitment to getting serious about my health. For me, that includes not only getting serious about exercising, but serious about my nutrition. After researching several plans, I've decided to go with the HMR program through the Medical Center Clinic. There are no shots, pills, etc...just revamping the way you eat through shakes, meals, and plenty of fruits and veggies. Oh, and did I mention, a per day exercise goal?
It dawned on me that I'm good at making commitments in some areas of my life, but very bad on the follow through in this area. I've had to do some soul searching on why this is, and I've come to some conclusions, but at the end it adds up to excuses. I've made excuses to myself - i.e. I'm too tired to cook, exercise...It's only one cheat meal....I deserve a cheeseburger after the week I've had...It's my birthday and I should get whatever I want...It's Mother's Day....It's Wednesday. Yeah, I think you get the point. At the end of the day, it's just excuses. If you know me at all, you would not say that I may excuses for things in my life, but I had to admit that this has just been full of one excuse after the other.
So, Wednesday night, I went to bed knowing that Thursday would be my first day on the plan. To be honest, I was kind of nervous. I was nervous I would be hungry and feel like cheating. I was nervous I would disappoint myself again. I was nervous that at the end of the day, I would make one more excuse that would leave me sitting on the couch, wondering why I failed again. However, something changed that Thursday morning....
That morning, I woke up with this thought on my mind "Commit your way to the Lord". Of course, my next thought way "Don't I already do that?" Followed by a startling thought..."Um, if you did that in all areas, would you be thinking there are other areas that need to be committed?"....Yeah, I know...I had this conversation with myself....more like a debate. Do I commit, don't I commit?
I decided to start this program with a new frame of mind. Each day, I will get up and commit this day unto the Lord. I will commit these efforts to Him. You know what? Thursday wasn't bad, Friday was better, Saturday was over before I knew it, and now it's Sunday night. It's amazing how much better you can feel when you get up and commit. I am making a commitment to act with purpose in achieving this goal. I will do my best, one day at a time, to become a healthier, more disciplined person...for myself, JD, my friends, co-workers, etc. I will believe in my heart that this is something I can accomplish, and I will take the steps necessary to follow through.
Don't be surprised if I blog about it...Wednesday is my first weigh-in and first class, so I'll try to follow up with my progress. All in all...I am excited. Excited about what tomorrow holds...excited about committing each day to being healthier me.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
Learning to Relax...
Relaxing is something you would think comes naturally. I mean, how hard is it to come home, change clothes, and lie on the couch for a while? That's relaxing, right? Not if you're me. You see, I've come to the conclusion that I have a very hard time turning my mind off. I might be sitting on the couch, but I'm thinking about my budget, what's for dinner tomorrow night, an email I need to send, if cat food is on sale, if JD finished his homework, what time I need to get on the treadmill, am I going to actually get some sleep tonight...okay, I think you're seeing the point.
I have always thought of myself as someone who is able to multi-task and handle stress like a pro (on very little sleep - I might add). However, I learned the hard way this week that is not necessarily true. Or, even if it is, you can't maintain it forever.
Wednesday morning started like most of my mornings the last three weeks - out the door early, so I could be out with some of our field employees when they got to work (which is generally 6 a.m.). I drove out to Milton, collected some paper work from employees, drove back downtown and was at my desk working by 8:30 or 9:00. On the outside I looked okay, but on the inside I had been hiding a secret.
The weather was absolutely horrible Wednesday, so Bill, Mallory, and I decided to go downstairs to the restaurant in our building for lunch. As we are sitting there - it happens. I had a sharp chest pain to the point that I could not hide it from them that something was wrong. My chest hurt, I was suddenly out of breath and felt light headed. After trying in vain to assure them that everything was okay. I finally spilled the beans. Much to my friends' horror, I explained to them that I had been having a weird pressure feeling in my chest for over two weeks and that on Tuesday night, I started having sharp chest pains. When asked why I hadn't said anything I calmly explained that I didn't want people to think I was stupid, overreacting, or just being a wuss. After all, I'm only 31. I'm too young to have heart problems, right? Okay - we all know that was just lame talk.
Needless to say, both of them were pretty upset. It came down to the fact that I needed to call our nurse or I'm sure one of them was going to take care of that for me. I call the nurse, and of course, she advises that I go to the ER for treatment. Well, for those of you who don't know, my friend, Laura, is over the surgical unit for Baptist hospital, so I called her and explained that I would be coming down.
When I get to the ER, they take my blood pressure and the machine starts making funny noises. The nurse asks how long I've had high blood pressure, to which I answered, never. Never have I had the slightest issue with my blood pressure. I was just at the doctor on February 14th and it was fine. Well, it wasn't fine now. It was 197/99. We took it again. It was 200/100. We took it again. It was 199/100. At this point, I no longer feel stupid for being there, just foolish for not having told someone sooner.
After an EKG, blood work (which they couldn't find my veins so I was stuck 5 or 6 times before they were able to get a sample), being monitored for several hours, etc...the doctor came to this conclusion: I have got to relax. Seriously. He gave me something to lower my blood pressure and told me that I really need to get some rest, and relax.
So, that is my new goal for 2011. I will find a way to relax. I will learn how to turn my mind off. I will start taking care of myself and not denying that I have a problem. The truth is that if one of my friends told me they had been feeling the way I was for over two weeks, I would have been TICKED! They would not have been able to come up with an excuse good enough to explain why they hadn't said something. So, I will learn how to take better care of myself. The same type care I expect my family and friends to be taking with themselves.
On that note - I bowed out of the McGuire's 5k tomorrow. Not because I don't want to do it, but because I really need to get some rest. I plan on hanging out with JD all day, watching movies, taking naps, playing Wii, almost anything but work. As a matter of fact, it's only 9:30 now, but there's a great chance I'm going to get in bed in about 15 minutes. =)
This is a beautiful life. I don't ever want to have to go through what I did on Wednesday again. I might have finally scared myself into learning how to take it down a notch.
I have always thought of myself as someone who is able to multi-task and handle stress like a pro (on very little sleep - I might add). However, I learned the hard way this week that is not necessarily true. Or, even if it is, you can't maintain it forever.
Wednesday morning started like most of my mornings the last three weeks - out the door early, so I could be out with some of our field employees when they got to work (which is generally 6 a.m.). I drove out to Milton, collected some paper work from employees, drove back downtown and was at my desk working by 8:30 or 9:00. On the outside I looked okay, but on the inside I had been hiding a secret.
The weather was absolutely horrible Wednesday, so Bill, Mallory, and I decided to go downstairs to the restaurant in our building for lunch. As we are sitting there - it happens. I had a sharp chest pain to the point that I could not hide it from them that something was wrong. My chest hurt, I was suddenly out of breath and felt light headed. After trying in vain to assure them that everything was okay. I finally spilled the beans. Much to my friends' horror, I explained to them that I had been having a weird pressure feeling in my chest for over two weeks and that on Tuesday night, I started having sharp chest pains. When asked why I hadn't said anything I calmly explained that I didn't want people to think I was stupid, overreacting, or just being a wuss. After all, I'm only 31. I'm too young to have heart problems, right? Okay - we all know that was just lame talk.
Needless to say, both of them were pretty upset. It came down to the fact that I needed to call our nurse or I'm sure one of them was going to take care of that for me. I call the nurse, and of course, she advises that I go to the ER for treatment. Well, for those of you who don't know, my friend, Laura, is over the surgical unit for Baptist hospital, so I called her and explained that I would be coming down.
When I get to the ER, they take my blood pressure and the machine starts making funny noises. The nurse asks how long I've had high blood pressure, to which I answered, never. Never have I had the slightest issue with my blood pressure. I was just at the doctor on February 14th and it was fine. Well, it wasn't fine now. It was 197/99. We took it again. It was 200/100. We took it again. It was 199/100. At this point, I no longer feel stupid for being there, just foolish for not having told someone sooner.
After an EKG, blood work (which they couldn't find my veins so I was stuck 5 or 6 times before they were able to get a sample), being monitored for several hours, etc...the doctor came to this conclusion: I have got to relax. Seriously. He gave me something to lower my blood pressure and told me that I really need to get some rest, and relax.
So, that is my new goal for 2011. I will find a way to relax. I will learn how to turn my mind off. I will start taking care of myself and not denying that I have a problem. The truth is that if one of my friends told me they had been feeling the way I was for over two weeks, I would have been TICKED! They would not have been able to come up with an excuse good enough to explain why they hadn't said something. So, I will learn how to take better care of myself. The same type care I expect my family and friends to be taking with themselves.
On that note - I bowed out of the McGuire's 5k tomorrow. Not because I don't want to do it, but because I really need to get some rest. I plan on hanging out with JD all day, watching movies, taking naps, playing Wii, almost anything but work. As a matter of fact, it's only 9:30 now, but there's a great chance I'm going to get in bed in about 15 minutes. =)
This is a beautiful life. I don't ever want to have to go through what I did on Wednesday again. I might have finally scared myself into learning how to take it down a notch.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Open House...
When I hear the words "open house" I'm always taken back to that time in Fall when as a child, parents would come to the school, look through your desk or locker, talk about how embarrassed they were because your desk seemed to be the least organized (when truthfully the teacher had you clean it out that day, so it looked a ton better than it had the day before - total bummer the parents thought it looked bad...ha!), look at your art work, hear how wonderful of a student you were - even if you did talk a little too much (okay, a LOT too much), and you would get to show them around the room or school with excitement. FYI - I think Open House is way more fun for the kids than it is for the parent or teachers.
Okay, that was random, because that is not quite where this blog is headed....ha!
Tonight, I hosted my first small group. For those of you unfamiliar with a small group, it's basically a group of people coming together to share life - because it can be hard to connect with folks if you go to a larger church. I've said for a while that when we moved, I would host a small group, and well, now is that time.
I actually felt nervous about the whole thing....to open up your house, invite people in, and then hope they get something out of the experience - connect on a level that makes them want to come back. It's like going on a blind date. =) You know you obviously have some things in common or you wouldn't be there, but are those things going to be enough to make you ask for a second go round.
However, somewhere in all those random thoughts, I had this one: "I want to have an open house". Not the kind where people come to see what you've accomplished, or marvel at how much junk you can shove in one desk, but where people feel welcome. Not only do I want to a have physical open house - where you can come in, relax, feel at peace, and make yourself at home, but I want my heart to be an open house. I want a heart that is open to people, vulnerable in relationships, and willing to share my experiences in hopes of being able to help someone else along the way and in turn receive encouragement and strength from their experiences. So, that is the approach I've decided to take. I decided it was best just to be the real Kim. After all, just like to have friends you must show yourself friendly - I believe that people will be able to tell if you're asking them to be open with you and yet holding back from them.
Tonight, as I get ready to go to bed, I am excited to see what the future holds. I look forward to an open house....with great anticipation. Excepting great things.
This is a beautiful life.
Okay, that was random, because that is not quite where this blog is headed....ha!
Tonight, I hosted my first small group. For those of you unfamiliar with a small group, it's basically a group of people coming together to share life - because it can be hard to connect with folks if you go to a larger church. I've said for a while that when we moved, I would host a small group, and well, now is that time.
I actually felt nervous about the whole thing....to open up your house, invite people in, and then hope they get something out of the experience - connect on a level that makes them want to come back. It's like going on a blind date. =) You know you obviously have some things in common or you wouldn't be there, but are those things going to be enough to make you ask for a second go round.
However, somewhere in all those random thoughts, I had this one: "I want to have an open house". Not the kind where people come to see what you've accomplished, or marvel at how much junk you can shove in one desk, but where people feel welcome. Not only do I want to a have physical open house - where you can come in, relax, feel at peace, and make yourself at home, but I want my heart to be an open house. I want a heart that is open to people, vulnerable in relationships, and willing to share my experiences in hopes of being able to help someone else along the way and in turn receive encouragement and strength from their experiences. So, that is the approach I've decided to take. I decided it was best just to be the real Kim. After all, just like to have friends you must show yourself friendly - I believe that people will be able to tell if you're asking them to be open with you and yet holding back from them.
Tonight, as I get ready to go to bed, I am excited to see what the future holds. I look forward to an open house....with great anticipation. Excepting great things.
This is a beautiful life.
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