As promised...here is the splinter story.
Sunday afternoon, our church had several cook-outs a different houses through out town. The deal is that you chose a cook-out to go to and then you maybe met new people from church. Great idea - by the way.
Anyways, I show up at this cook-out, homemade carrot cake in hand (it was so hot that the icing melted off my cake - but it was all gone, so they still liked it), and start making nice with people. I walk outside with my friend Sara and we decide on these built in wooden seats on the deck. Now, many people had been sitting on these before me, but wouldn't you know....
I sat down, looked at Sara and said "Um, either something just stung me through my jeans, or I currently have a splinter in my BEHIND!!!" Of course, I stand up, Sara looks - starts laughing - and pulls a three inch piece of wood out of my jeans. She's laughing, I'm laughing, but then I realize we have a problem. I look at her and say...."Um, Sara, that's great and all, but the wood broke off and I still have a splinter in my behind....right now....and it's not comfortable." Sweet Sara looks at me, laughs, and says "Now that's really unfortunate".
What do I do? I kind of sit on the other side and try not to further push the splinter in.
After the cook-out, my older sister Becky asks me to come down to her neighbor's house. Now, I say "neighbor" but the neighbors are all kind of like family. I explained about my splinter, but said I'd run by anyways. I show up at Pam's, and Becky is on it....she is sure my splinter is going to get infected - I absolutely HAVE to get the splinter out then. I was sure I could do it myself...Pam and Becky were not.
I should insert here and say that Becky has no problem changing clothes and stripping down in front of folks, but I'm not the same way.
Pam is a nurse, and they were not going to leave me alone until the splinter was removed. After about 20 minutes of listening to the both of them go on and on - I somehow ended up in Pam's bathroom, with Pam and Becky both trying to practice splinter removal techniques. Yeah, not one of my finer moments.
Pam then stated that I probably wasn't going to come to her house ever again - after ended up with them in the bathroom - I told her that she might get more people to come over if they knew that much fun was going on. ha!
So, the splinter is gone - along with my dignity, but hey - isn't that just like something that would happen to me?
Friday, June 18, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Oh Goodness...It's Soap Box Time
It's no news that we have all been watching the oil spill and wondering what the end result is going to be for our community. However, lately, I've heard a few people compare the oil spill to 9-11. I was going to let it go, but I just can't. No, no I can't.
While I am not taking anything away from the 11 families that lost love ones - and it actually makes me sad that there was not more coverage on that fact - and I'm not taking away from the families that are going to be economically impacted for a long time from this, I think it is safe to say that the oil spill does not even begin to compare to 9-11.
The end result is that the oil spill was an industrial accident. A major failure and completely unacceptable, yes, but an accident all the same. I'm sorry, but this in no way compares to the loss of life of several thousand people on one day - not to mention the thousands that have gone to war since then - or the fact that an entire nation of people had their sense of security removed in an instant. BP is not waging jihad against the Gulf Coast. I don't lie awake in bed at night and wonder if they are planning a way to unleash tons of oil across other states.
I think that if you are making comparisons to the two, not only does it show your insensitivity to a very sensitive subject, but it also shows your complete ignorance. This is not about being a Democrat or Republican, but about being an American and remembering not only what we went through that day in September, but also what our men and women in the military have gone through since then.
So, I'm sorry...no, actually, I'm not. While the oil spill is definitely an economic and environmental disaster it in no way compares to 9-11.
While I am not taking anything away from the 11 families that lost love ones - and it actually makes me sad that there was not more coverage on that fact - and I'm not taking away from the families that are going to be economically impacted for a long time from this, I think it is safe to say that the oil spill does not even begin to compare to 9-11.
The end result is that the oil spill was an industrial accident. A major failure and completely unacceptable, yes, but an accident all the same. I'm sorry, but this in no way compares to the loss of life of several thousand people on one day - not to mention the thousands that have gone to war since then - or the fact that an entire nation of people had their sense of security removed in an instant. BP is not waging jihad against the Gulf Coast. I don't lie awake in bed at night and wonder if they are planning a way to unleash tons of oil across other states.
I think that if you are making comparisons to the two, not only does it show your insensitivity to a very sensitive subject, but it also shows your complete ignorance. This is not about being a Democrat or Republican, but about being an American and remembering not only what we went through that day in September, but also what our men and women in the military have gone through since then.
So, I'm sorry...no, actually, I'm not. While the oil spill is definitely an economic and environmental disaster it in no way compares to 9-11.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Come Next Monday...
I started a new blog to track my weight loss journey - ups and downs - good days, bad days, and downright ugly days. I plan on being completely honest - which means I might not be so nice some days, but maybe someone else will stumble upon it and realize that they are not the only ones going through the same thing. So many times you hear people talk about how good they feel losing weight and how nice it is - and yes, those things are true - but there are bad days, too. Days when you want to eat a gigantic burger or piece of cake and days when you might actually do that, too and then feel like crap afterwards. Well, I intend on documenting every step of the way.
The title of the blog is Come Next Monday.
I chose that name because it always seems that I am saying "come next Monday" I am starting a new diet, workout plans, whatever. Well, from now on....come next Monday.....I will be healthier me. Each Monday will be a healthy day, not one where I'm starting a new diet or workout program, but one where I know I am on the right track.
If y'all want to check it out, please feel free.
http://www.comenextmonday.blogspot.com/
Have a wonderful Sunday!
The title of the blog is Come Next Monday.
I chose that name because it always seems that I am saying "come next Monday" I am starting a new diet, workout plans, whatever. Well, from now on....come next Monday.....I will be healthier me. Each Monday will be a healthy day, not one where I'm starting a new diet or workout program, but one where I know I am on the right track.
If y'all want to check it out, please feel free.
http://www.comenextmonday.blogspot.com/
Have a wonderful Sunday!
Thursday, June 10, 2010
Random Smiles Part 2
The Grilling Season is upon us, so I thought I would remind everyone to practice safe grilling techniques. Here are two reasons why my son cringes every time he sees me head out the door with a lighter, charcoal, and lighter fluid....
1. Once upon a time, I was married, and in this marriage I cleaned house, raised a baby, took out the trash, and many other things, but one thing I did not do was fire up the grill. I guess the reason for that was because he liked to grill, and I liked to eat the grilled food, but was content with just making the sides.
One hot Summer day, Johnny's sister, Janna, came and picked JD up for a play date and I spontaneously asked if they would like to join us for dinner that night. What were we having? Well, hamburgers from the grill of course. Johnny wasn't going to be home until later, but I am a very productive woman and I can grill. I think. I've seen it done a ton of times.
The grill is on our back deck, so I walk outside, put the charcoal in and strike a match, but nothing happens. I go round up some lighter fluid. The only problem is that we don't have a full bottle, but several partial bottles. I decide that more is always better and proceed to drench the charcoal.
I lit the match, walked towards the grill, extend my arm and the match doesn't even make it to the grill before this huge ball of flames shoots up in the air, and burns what little hair I have on my arm off.
Now, I know we have all heard of "stop, drop, and roll", but that isn't what crossed my mind. I jumped, screamed, and sprinted off the deck - all the while yelling "THANK YOU, JESUS...OH THANK YOU, LORD. I'M NOT ON FIRE. I'M NOT ON FIRE". I was loud enough that the neighbors ran out and over to the house to see what was going on.
Johnny made me promise I would not use the grill again.
2. Fast forward several years. I am now divorced.
Summer is upon us and I realize that I am in charge of grilling my own food. I buy a tiny table top grill, put it together, and this time it comes with a bag of charcoal that already has lighter fluid in it. This cannot fail. Right? Right.
Usually, I get myself in trouble when I decide to deviate from the plan.
I put this little grill on my porch step, and try to light it, only it won't light because the wind is blowing too hard. So, I moved it to the side of the apartment, in the grass. I struck the match, put it in the bag of charcoal and then pick the grill up to move it back to the steps. I'm going to admit that at this point I did not have the sense that God gave a billy goat.
When I picked the dang grill up, the legs fell off of it. As I turned to corner, which it was only a couple of steps from where I was to where I wanted to be, the wind hit the bag and my little flame turned into a sure enough fire. A fire, in a grill that I am holding. Have y'all seen me? I'm only 5'1 which means I don't exactly have a long arm span.
The fire burns my arm, I drop the grill, and as luck would have it, the grill turned over causing the grass to catch on fire. At this point, I'm in a panic. What to do? What to do? Thankfully, JD was in the house, so he wasn't witnessing the fact that his mama was about to burn the place down.
About that time, these two Navy guys that lived next door arrive home, to see our grass on fire, and me in panic mode. The made quick work of putting out the small grass fire, the grill, and reassuring me that it was okay. Needless to say, I didn't grill out, but those boys got homemade lasagna, french bread, and a salad for dinner. And once again, my grilling spatula was hung up...
Our new tradition became that I would buy the steaks and shrimp and Scott, my best friend's husband, would do the grilling. For a while...
I am proud to say that a couple of years later, I bought a bigger grill, more charcoal, the Girls Guide to Grilling, came prepared with a little patience, and not so much lighter fluid, and I learned to grill. It was good. After all, everything tastes better on a charcoal grill.
Enjoy Summer. If you see a big plume of smoke from our direction, don't be too alarmed, I'm just back at the grill.
1. Once upon a time, I was married, and in this marriage I cleaned house, raised a baby, took out the trash, and many other things, but one thing I did not do was fire up the grill. I guess the reason for that was because he liked to grill, and I liked to eat the grilled food, but was content with just making the sides.
One hot Summer day, Johnny's sister, Janna, came and picked JD up for a play date and I spontaneously asked if they would like to join us for dinner that night. What were we having? Well, hamburgers from the grill of course. Johnny wasn't going to be home until later, but I am a very productive woman and I can grill. I think. I've seen it done a ton of times.
The grill is on our back deck, so I walk outside, put the charcoal in and strike a match, but nothing happens. I go round up some lighter fluid. The only problem is that we don't have a full bottle, but several partial bottles. I decide that more is always better and proceed to drench the charcoal.
I lit the match, walked towards the grill, extend my arm and the match doesn't even make it to the grill before this huge ball of flames shoots up in the air, and burns what little hair I have on my arm off.
Now, I know we have all heard of "stop, drop, and roll", but that isn't what crossed my mind. I jumped, screamed, and sprinted off the deck - all the while yelling "THANK YOU, JESUS...OH THANK YOU, LORD. I'M NOT ON FIRE. I'M NOT ON FIRE". I was loud enough that the neighbors ran out and over to the house to see what was going on.
Johnny made me promise I would not use the grill again.
2. Fast forward several years. I am now divorced.
Summer is upon us and I realize that I am in charge of grilling my own food. I buy a tiny table top grill, put it together, and this time it comes with a bag of charcoal that already has lighter fluid in it. This cannot fail. Right? Right.
Usually, I get myself in trouble when I decide to deviate from the plan.
I put this little grill on my porch step, and try to light it, only it won't light because the wind is blowing too hard. So, I moved it to the side of the apartment, in the grass. I struck the match, put it in the bag of charcoal and then pick the grill up to move it back to the steps. I'm going to admit that at this point I did not have the sense that God gave a billy goat.
When I picked the dang grill up, the legs fell off of it. As I turned to corner, which it was only a couple of steps from where I was to where I wanted to be, the wind hit the bag and my little flame turned into a sure enough fire. A fire, in a grill that I am holding. Have y'all seen me? I'm only 5'1 which means I don't exactly have a long arm span.
The fire burns my arm, I drop the grill, and as luck would have it, the grill turned over causing the grass to catch on fire. At this point, I'm in a panic. What to do? What to do? Thankfully, JD was in the house, so he wasn't witnessing the fact that his mama was about to burn the place down.
About that time, these two Navy guys that lived next door arrive home, to see our grass on fire, and me in panic mode. The made quick work of putting out the small grass fire, the grill, and reassuring me that it was okay. Needless to say, I didn't grill out, but those boys got homemade lasagna, french bread, and a salad for dinner. And once again, my grilling spatula was hung up...
Our new tradition became that I would buy the steaks and shrimp and Scott, my best friend's husband, would do the grilling. For a while...
I am proud to say that a couple of years later, I bought a bigger grill, more charcoal, the Girls Guide to Grilling, came prepared with a little patience, and not so much lighter fluid, and I learned to grill. It was good. After all, everything tastes better on a charcoal grill.
Enjoy Summer. If you see a big plume of smoke from our direction, don't be too alarmed, I'm just back at the grill.
Random Smiles...
Lately, it seems that people are asking me how such funny situations happen in my life. I've decided that really my life is no more or less funny than most, but that I see the humor in my situations. So, for your entertainment - here are a couple of funny stories...
1. How did I Nair the cat?
Well, technically, the cat Naired himself. No, really. JD was with his dad and I had some time to kill, so I decided to Nair my legs. After the Nair incident of 2001, I promised I wouldn't use that stuff again, but every now and then, I can't help it. Okay, I digress....
Anyways, I am lathering up my legs - and I mean I am putting a TON of this stuff on - when Crackers, the cat, comes into the bathroom. Now, don't take too long picturing this, but here I am, covered in Nair on my legs, Nair on my hands, and this goofy cat won't leave. Well, Crackers might be a gigantic cat, but he's also a scaredy cat. So, I make some kind of sudden movement and the cat runs off....but only after brushing the side of my leg and cover the side of his head in Nair.
What do I do? Freak out, of course. I jump up, wash my hands, grab a towel and the chase is on. Only now, Crackers really can't figure out why I'm running after him and he picks up the pace. It took several minutes for me to corner him. Then I realized I should have wet the towel. So, I'm still covered in Nair and I have to let the cat go so I can go wet the towel. The chase resumes. I finally catch him again, hold him down, and scrub his face and obviously a bit of his fur off, too. Poor cat.
See, some people would've been aggravated with that situation. Me? I really got a picture of what we must have looked like and I was cracking up.
2. What was the Nair incident of 2001?
I've also decided that women do all kinds of things in the name of beauty. I have shaved, waxed, Naired, and plucked all in the name of hair removal - and I'm not even a hairy person. I feel bad for the women who are hairy and feel the need to do these same things.
Back in 2001, I was a 22 year old, stay at home mom. One Wednesday, I decided to Nair my under arms. Seriously, don't ask why. So, I buy the quickest acting Nair I can find, come home, JD goes down for a nap and I decide to get it over with. Here is where things went wonky...
I lather up, read that you should keep the Nair on for 4-6 minutes, and then rinse. Only, I start thinking about how under arm hair surely must be more difficult to remove than leg hair, so I think it will take longer. I left it on for about 10 minutes....it started to burn. Did I mention that I really don't have a lot of hair anyways?
I jump in the shower and realized that I've managed to burn off the first layer of skin under both of my arms and y'all that was no joke. I called my husband and informed him that JD and I would not be going to church that night because there was no way I could put on deodorant.
Well, Johnny was so nice, and decided to bring home some Aloe Vera burn gel for me. His mom kept some in her fridge at all times. He comes home, and decides he will help me. I lift up both of my arms and on goes the gel.
I hit the floor in a hail of bad language and laughter through my tears. That crap wasn't made for chemical burns - it was made for SUN burns. Oh, the pain. He grabs a towel and tries to scrub it off. I'm pretty certain I said something like "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!", as in slow-mo I see the abrasive towel coming for me.
It took many days for my under arms to heal up and I was pretty certain I would never Nair again - wax maybe - but not Nair.
1. How did I Nair the cat?
Well, technically, the cat Naired himself. No, really. JD was with his dad and I had some time to kill, so I decided to Nair my legs. After the Nair incident of 2001, I promised I wouldn't use that stuff again, but every now and then, I can't help it. Okay, I digress....
Anyways, I am lathering up my legs - and I mean I am putting a TON of this stuff on - when Crackers, the cat, comes into the bathroom. Now, don't take too long picturing this, but here I am, covered in Nair on my legs, Nair on my hands, and this goofy cat won't leave. Well, Crackers might be a gigantic cat, but he's also a scaredy cat. So, I make some kind of sudden movement and the cat runs off....but only after brushing the side of my leg and cover the side of his head in Nair.
What do I do? Freak out, of course. I jump up, wash my hands, grab a towel and the chase is on. Only now, Crackers really can't figure out why I'm running after him and he picks up the pace. It took several minutes for me to corner him. Then I realized I should have wet the towel. So, I'm still covered in Nair and I have to let the cat go so I can go wet the towel. The chase resumes. I finally catch him again, hold him down, and scrub his face and obviously a bit of his fur off, too. Poor cat.
See, some people would've been aggravated with that situation. Me? I really got a picture of what we must have looked like and I was cracking up.
2. What was the Nair incident of 2001?
I've also decided that women do all kinds of things in the name of beauty. I have shaved, waxed, Naired, and plucked all in the name of hair removal - and I'm not even a hairy person. I feel bad for the women who are hairy and feel the need to do these same things.
Back in 2001, I was a 22 year old, stay at home mom. One Wednesday, I decided to Nair my under arms. Seriously, don't ask why. So, I buy the quickest acting Nair I can find, come home, JD goes down for a nap and I decide to get it over with. Here is where things went wonky...
I lather up, read that you should keep the Nair on for 4-6 minutes, and then rinse. Only, I start thinking about how under arm hair surely must be more difficult to remove than leg hair, so I think it will take longer. I left it on for about 10 minutes....it started to burn. Did I mention that I really don't have a lot of hair anyways?
I jump in the shower and realized that I've managed to burn off the first layer of skin under both of my arms and y'all that was no joke. I called my husband and informed him that JD and I would not be going to church that night because there was no way I could put on deodorant.
Well, Johnny was so nice, and decided to bring home some Aloe Vera burn gel for me. His mom kept some in her fridge at all times. He comes home, and decides he will help me. I lift up both of my arms and on goes the gel.
I hit the floor in a hail of bad language and laughter through my tears. That crap wasn't made for chemical burns - it was made for SUN burns. Oh, the pain. He grabs a towel and tries to scrub it off. I'm pretty certain I said something like "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!", as in slow-mo I see the abrasive towel coming for me.
It took many days for my under arms to heal up and I was pretty certain I would never Nair again - wax maybe - but not Nair.
Are You My Mother?
I found this note I had written on Facebook and wanted to save it to my blog.....this was originally posted February 21, 2009
First, let me start by saying that JD and I have had a fantastic day. We went out to the beach, played a little football (which would have been hilarious to witness, I'm sure), built an entire sand kingdom, went the the base, explored the forts, and went out to Pace. Now I'm hoping that we sleep like normal people tonight, or at least 6 hours would be nice.
Driving into Pace tonight JD was playing his Nintendo DS and I was listening to the radio and my thoughts began to wander. It takes about 45 minutes to get over there, so it is a bit of a drive. As I was driving over the bridge, Martina McBride's Independence Day came on and I was singing along, thinking of when Mae-Beth and I would sing that song at the top of our lungs. We would ride with the windows down and fly out of Pace into Pensacola like we weren't afraid of getting a ticket. If I would've known how closely that chorus would end up mirroring my life, I wonder if I would've sang so loudly and as carefree. I might would've thrown in the white towel and given up then...okay, probably not because that just isn't my style. =)
Since 90% of my friends on Facebook grew up with me, and the other 10% know enough about me to know this I don't mind sharing. For a long time it was not the easiest thing to go back to Pace. Not because of Pace itself, but because although that was where I grew up and had lived all my life, I no longer had a home there. It was strange to drive across the causeway, like 100's of times before, but know that even if I ended up back at the house that held so many memories, nobody there would even know who I was. The 6 acres where we played ball, red light green light, hide and seek, and so many other childhood games are now split into small plots of land for several houses and several families to raise their children. Honestly, I hope that the families raising their kids there will leave them with better memories than we have. I hope those are homes filled with love and peace.
For a long time I felt like the little bird in the childhood book "Are You My Mother?". I felt like I was searching for somewhere to call home - someone to go home to. People who knew all there was to know about me and still welcomed me in. Then, I dealt with those things and really had to take some time to heal. You know what I realized? I am home. I am me. All those things in my past are things that helped shape me into the person that I am today. And I like this person. It has not always been an easy journey and honestly, there are still some things that I don't talk about...not because I'm not healed from it, but because I am happy to say that those areas no longer consume me. It is what it is.
So, tonight I am thankful. Thankful for where my life has been and where I am today. Thankful that home doesn't have to be a house on 6 acres, but it truly is where your heart is. I could move back to Pace, go to Atlanta, Washington DC, Japan, yes...even New York City =), and I have a home.
And for those of you who might feel sad after reading this, please don't. I don't usually write about this kind of thing because I know it is not an easy subject, but it is not meant to be sad. It is meant to be a celebration of becoming the person I was always meant to be...completely whole, completely comfortable, completely happy...completely me. Complete in more ways than I ever thought possible.
First, let me start by saying that JD and I have had a fantastic day. We went out to the beach, played a little football (which would have been hilarious to witness, I'm sure), built an entire sand kingdom, went the the base, explored the forts, and went out to Pace. Now I'm hoping that we sleep like normal people tonight, or at least 6 hours would be nice.
Driving into Pace tonight JD was playing his Nintendo DS and I was listening to the radio and my thoughts began to wander. It takes about 45 minutes to get over there, so it is a bit of a drive. As I was driving over the bridge, Martina McBride's Independence Day came on and I was singing along, thinking of when Mae-Beth and I would sing that song at the top of our lungs. We would ride with the windows down and fly out of Pace into Pensacola like we weren't afraid of getting a ticket. If I would've known how closely that chorus would end up mirroring my life, I wonder if I would've sang so loudly and as carefree. I might would've thrown in the white towel and given up then...okay, probably not because that just isn't my style. =)
Since 90% of my friends on Facebook grew up with me, and the other 10% know enough about me to know this I don't mind sharing. For a long time it was not the easiest thing to go back to Pace. Not because of Pace itself, but because although that was where I grew up and had lived all my life, I no longer had a home there. It was strange to drive across the causeway, like 100's of times before, but know that even if I ended up back at the house that held so many memories, nobody there would even know who I was. The 6 acres where we played ball, red light green light, hide and seek, and so many other childhood games are now split into small plots of land for several houses and several families to raise their children. Honestly, I hope that the families raising their kids there will leave them with better memories than we have. I hope those are homes filled with love and peace.
For a long time I felt like the little bird in the childhood book "Are You My Mother?". I felt like I was searching for somewhere to call home - someone to go home to. People who knew all there was to know about me and still welcomed me in. Then, I dealt with those things and really had to take some time to heal. You know what I realized? I am home. I am me. All those things in my past are things that helped shape me into the person that I am today. And I like this person. It has not always been an easy journey and honestly, there are still some things that I don't talk about...not because I'm not healed from it, but because I am happy to say that those areas no longer consume me. It is what it is.
So, tonight I am thankful. Thankful for where my life has been and where I am today. Thankful that home doesn't have to be a house on 6 acres, but it truly is where your heart is. I could move back to Pace, go to Atlanta, Washington DC, Japan, yes...even New York City =), and I have a home.
And for those of you who might feel sad after reading this, please don't. I don't usually write about this kind of thing because I know it is not an easy subject, but it is not meant to be sad. It is meant to be a celebration of becoming the person I was always meant to be...completely whole, completely comfortable, completely happy...completely me. Complete in more ways than I ever thought possible.
Friday, June 4, 2010
Where Thousands Live...
"On Behalf of our elected City Council, those 10 masterful men who manage our magnificent municipality; and on behalf of the chairman of our county commision and his four commissioners who constantly deal with the changing, challenging conditions of our county; and on behalf of our wonderful people who populate the Northwest Florida area, it is my privilege and pleasure as mayor to welcome you to Pensacola, the western gate to the Sunshine State, where thousands live the way millions wish they could, where the warmth of our community comes not only from God's good sunshine, but from the hearts of the people who live here. Welcome to Pensacola, America's first place city and the place where America began." -Vince Whibbs
If you have lived in Pensacola any time at all, you have heard a portion of this speech before - I'm sure. I have often thought of this speech while anticipating a hurricane to hit our beaches, and lately it has been on my mind because of the oil spill.
I don't need to say it for you to know that Mayor Vince Whibbs summed up in a few short sentences why it is great to live in Pensacola. As we all know, that beauty comes with a price sometimes. I started thinking about all the hurricanes we have recovered from - Erin and Opal in August and October of 1995 and of course, Ivan in 2004 which rocked our world in a way we had not seen. After Ivan, please show me one person that did not have a blue roof or at least have a neighbor who had one. Those are just three major hurricanes, not to mention all the category 1 or tropical storms that have brought rain and wind to our shores.
We have faced financial insecurities - who can forget when the Base Realignment and Closure project was announced? Well, if you didn't live here then or were too young to remember - this was an unsettling time in our community and I know several people that were affected by the outcome.
How about every time we read in the paper about another one of our soldiers dying somewhere overseas, or even in a training flight over the mountains of Georgia, like so recently happened. And I am certain that all of us held our breath back in April of 2007 when word came in that Blue Angel #6 had crashed in South Carolina, hoped the outcome would not be what it was, and shed tears for Lieutenant Commander Kevin Davis and his family when we were told that he had been lost. I remember looking out my window the next day and watching the Blues fly back in, right over my apartment, looking for that plane that wasn't coming - and crying. You know why? Because even if those soldiers don't start out in Pensacola, they become one of us.
Which brings me to my point...
The past few weeks have been difficult for a lot of people. The uncertainty of the oil spill situation has been like tracking a hurricane for 40 days and still not knowing what the outcome is going to be. I don't pretend to know how this will impact our community or for how long this will impact our community, but I do know this:
At the end of the day, we will be there to clean up, to rebuild, to hold hands while we cry, to support each other, and one day...we will be at the beach, watching the Blues fly - thousands living the way millions wish they could.
If you have lived in Pensacola any time at all, you have heard a portion of this speech before - I'm sure. I have often thought of this speech while anticipating a hurricane to hit our beaches, and lately it has been on my mind because of the oil spill.
I don't need to say it for you to know that Mayor Vince Whibbs summed up in a few short sentences why it is great to live in Pensacola. As we all know, that beauty comes with a price sometimes. I started thinking about all the hurricanes we have recovered from - Erin and Opal in August and October of 1995 and of course, Ivan in 2004 which rocked our world in a way we had not seen. After Ivan, please show me one person that did not have a blue roof or at least have a neighbor who had one. Those are just three major hurricanes, not to mention all the category 1 or tropical storms that have brought rain and wind to our shores.
We have faced financial insecurities - who can forget when the Base Realignment and Closure project was announced? Well, if you didn't live here then or were too young to remember - this was an unsettling time in our community and I know several people that were affected by the outcome.
How about every time we read in the paper about another one of our soldiers dying somewhere overseas, or even in a training flight over the mountains of Georgia, like so recently happened. And I am certain that all of us held our breath back in April of 2007 when word came in that Blue Angel #6 had crashed in South Carolina, hoped the outcome would not be what it was, and shed tears for Lieutenant Commander Kevin Davis and his family when we were told that he had been lost. I remember looking out my window the next day and watching the Blues fly back in, right over my apartment, looking for that plane that wasn't coming - and crying. You know why? Because even if those soldiers don't start out in Pensacola, they become one of us.
Which brings me to my point...
The past few weeks have been difficult for a lot of people. The uncertainty of the oil spill situation has been like tracking a hurricane for 40 days and still not knowing what the outcome is going to be. I don't pretend to know how this will impact our community or for how long this will impact our community, but I do know this:
At the end of the day, we will be there to clean up, to rebuild, to hold hands while we cry, to support each other, and one day...we will be at the beach, watching the Blues fly - thousands living the way millions wish they could.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I Finally Figured It Out!!!
I finally figured it out! I must be a princess. Oh, not a frog kissing princess or a princess that sings to animals in the woods (although, I've probably done that...ha!), but I must be the good ol' princess with the pea.
Why is that, you ask?
Simple - I haven't slept through the night in years - honestly, maybe never. ha! So, I'm thinking that maybe my problem is that there is a pea under my mattress and all I need to do is find it. Shoot, not only then will I be able to sleep, but all kinds of interesting things will happen.
Let's walk through some of the things I've done to get a full night's sleep:
I've bought new mattresses, upped my thread count on my sheets until I am now at 1000, bought a tempur-pedic mattress topper, drank warm milk, slept with the tv on, the light on, the tv off, the lights off, the pillows stacked, my head right on the mattress, the air turned down, the air turned up, I've even tried over the counter sleep aids (as encouraged by my doctor) they have the opposite effect on me - I end up WIRED for days, I've had a glass of wine before bed, I've turned the computer off, I've read the King James Version of the Bible, I've listened to music, I've listened to white noise - sometimes I've listened to the neighbors fight (ha!), I've counted sheep - no really, I've exercised before bed, I've done a whole routine of relaxation, I gave up watching Forensic Files and Criminal Minds before bed,.....I think you are getting the point.
The only theory I have left is the Princess and the Pea theory. That's got to be it, right? =)
I hope y'all have a great, sleep-filled night! If not, give me a call, I'm sure I'll be up.
Why is that, you ask?
Simple - I haven't slept through the night in years - honestly, maybe never. ha! So, I'm thinking that maybe my problem is that there is a pea under my mattress and all I need to do is find it. Shoot, not only then will I be able to sleep, but all kinds of interesting things will happen.
Let's walk through some of the things I've done to get a full night's sleep:
I've bought new mattresses, upped my thread count on my sheets until I am now at 1000, bought a tempur-pedic mattress topper, drank warm milk, slept with the tv on, the light on, the tv off, the lights off, the pillows stacked, my head right on the mattress, the air turned down, the air turned up, I've even tried over the counter sleep aids (as encouraged by my doctor) they have the opposite effect on me - I end up WIRED for days, I've had a glass of wine before bed, I've turned the computer off, I've read the King James Version of the Bible, I've listened to music, I've listened to white noise - sometimes I've listened to the neighbors fight (ha!), I've counted sheep - no really, I've exercised before bed, I've done a whole routine of relaxation, I gave up watching Forensic Files and Criminal Minds before bed,.....I think you are getting the point.
The only theory I have left is the Princess and the Pea theory. That's got to be it, right? =)
I hope y'all have a great, sleep-filled night! If not, give me a call, I'm sure I'll be up.
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Blind - Dates Wipe-Outs #3
The end of 2009 rolled around and I'm certain that almost everyone I know had decided I'm going to be single forever. I've decided that most people want for you the kind of things that make them happy. If they are happy and married, they want the same for you. I'm not going to sit here and say that I don't think that would be nice, but I'm also not going to sit here and say that I lie around all the time bemoaning the fact that I'm single. I don't. That being said...
One night, in October - I got a phone call from my friends Veronica and Derek. They explain to me that they've met this great guy, told him about me, and we are going out on Friday night. Oh goodness. Here we go. They promise me that he seems normal. A nice guy, looking for friends. Sweet. I am great at making friends. It's one of my finer qualities. ha! I clarified that this was a blind date and V and Derek both said yes - but this time I was going to double date with them. This made me feel a bit better. The only thing was that he and my ex-husband share the same name. I kind of laughed, and said okay, no big deal.
We go to the bowling alley - and once again, he's late. Not 45 mins late, or an hour late, just a few minutes late, so no big deal. He really isn't bad looking. We start to bowl and he starts talking about his cat, even shows me pictures. Well, I have two cats - Cheese and Crackers - so this is cool with me. The he starts talking about how bad his back is and how he is sucking at bowling (he was kicking our behinds) and how he used to play in a league. Then he starts talking about how he wishes he hadn't got out of the military, he would be retiring in a few years (he was 37). By the end of the night, he had said that so much that V says "We know, you really shouldn't have gotten out of the military, you would be retired by now." Things aren't going horrible, but he really was kind of a down person.
We go to dinner, and the check comes. We shared pizza and I had ordered water. As soon as the check comes out, he says "Yeah, I really wish I made more money. I only make 31K a year, my rent is $500 a month, and I am living paycheck to paycheck." I am reaching for my purse to pay for my portion because I was feeling HORRIBLE!!! We were supposed to go for ice cream later and I told everyone the only way we could go to Baskin Robbins is if they allowed me to pay for everyone. I could not let this poor man pay for one more thing. We decide to go back to Veronica and Derek's and watch a movie. He talks more about how he needs friends...and by this time, I'm starting to feel a little worn out. I need to insert here that if a guy makes 31k a year and is happy in his job, then I am happy with that - I am not all materialistic. I would rather be with someone who was fulfilled in their career, than to be with someone who was absolutely miserable, but was doing it for the money. The thing that made me the most nervous was that this guy was a corrections officer and he told us how he knew just how far to go with the prisoners. I know his job is very stressful, but that kind of talk makes a person nervous.
He says he'll take me to my car - which was down the street at V's sister's house. We get to her house and he turns the car off. I am uncertain what to do. I have my mace ready. He looks at me and says he thinks we should talk a while. He proceeds to tell me that every girl he's ever been with has cheated on him and he doesn't feel comfortable with his women having male friends. Then he wanted to know why I kept my ex husbands last name and if I would change it back to my maiden name if someone I dated had a problem with it. I told him no. It was easier to keep the last name Franklin, it was JD's last name, and I wasn't bothered by it at all.
He then looks at me and says "Well, my biological clock is ticking, so I need to be with someone who can have kids". I almost died. I've heard that some women say that, but I didn't believe it and I've NEVER heard of a man saying that. If I have problems with fertility in the future - not that I am wishing it on myself by any means - I will swear that is because I felt my ovaries shrivel up right then at that moment. I was in shock.
He did end up calling me about a week later, I encouraged him to see a doctor. He said he felt like he should date 19-21 year old women and he knew that as a single mom I was waiting for someone to come "rescue" me from my situation. As nice as possible I explained to him that I was not waiting for someone to rescue me. I have been very blessed and I'm doing well with just me and JD. I explained that while I'm sure he was a nice man, that we wouldn't ever have a relationship and I really thought he needed to seek help for depression. He had told me that he had been in the bed with his cat, watching movies for four days.
At this time, I have renewed my vow to not go on blind dates. I wonder how long that will last. ha!
One night, in October - I got a phone call from my friends Veronica and Derek. They explain to me that they've met this great guy, told him about me, and we are going out on Friday night. Oh goodness. Here we go. They promise me that he seems normal. A nice guy, looking for friends. Sweet. I am great at making friends. It's one of my finer qualities. ha! I clarified that this was a blind date and V and Derek both said yes - but this time I was going to double date with them. This made me feel a bit better. The only thing was that he and my ex-husband share the same name. I kind of laughed, and said okay, no big deal.
We go to the bowling alley - and once again, he's late. Not 45 mins late, or an hour late, just a few minutes late, so no big deal. He really isn't bad looking. We start to bowl and he starts talking about his cat, even shows me pictures. Well, I have two cats - Cheese and Crackers - so this is cool with me. The he starts talking about how bad his back is and how he is sucking at bowling (he was kicking our behinds) and how he used to play in a league. Then he starts talking about how he wishes he hadn't got out of the military, he would be retiring in a few years (he was 37). By the end of the night, he had said that so much that V says "We know, you really shouldn't have gotten out of the military, you would be retired by now." Things aren't going horrible, but he really was kind of a down person.
We go to dinner, and the check comes. We shared pizza and I had ordered water. As soon as the check comes out, he says "Yeah, I really wish I made more money. I only make 31K a year, my rent is $500 a month, and I am living paycheck to paycheck." I am reaching for my purse to pay for my portion because I was feeling HORRIBLE!!! We were supposed to go for ice cream later and I told everyone the only way we could go to Baskin Robbins is if they allowed me to pay for everyone. I could not let this poor man pay for one more thing. We decide to go back to Veronica and Derek's and watch a movie. He talks more about how he needs friends...and by this time, I'm starting to feel a little worn out. I need to insert here that if a guy makes 31k a year and is happy in his job, then I am happy with that - I am not all materialistic. I would rather be with someone who was fulfilled in their career, than to be with someone who was absolutely miserable, but was doing it for the money. The thing that made me the most nervous was that this guy was a corrections officer and he told us how he knew just how far to go with the prisoners. I know his job is very stressful, but that kind of talk makes a person nervous.
He says he'll take me to my car - which was down the street at V's sister's house. We get to her house and he turns the car off. I am uncertain what to do. I have my mace ready. He looks at me and says he thinks we should talk a while. He proceeds to tell me that every girl he's ever been with has cheated on him and he doesn't feel comfortable with his women having male friends. Then he wanted to know why I kept my ex husbands last name and if I would change it back to my maiden name if someone I dated had a problem with it. I told him no. It was easier to keep the last name Franklin, it was JD's last name, and I wasn't bothered by it at all.
He then looks at me and says "Well, my biological clock is ticking, so I need to be with someone who can have kids". I almost died. I've heard that some women say that, but I didn't believe it and I've NEVER heard of a man saying that. If I have problems with fertility in the future - not that I am wishing it on myself by any means - I will swear that is because I felt my ovaries shrivel up right then at that moment. I was in shock.
He did end up calling me about a week later, I encouraged him to see a doctor. He said he felt like he should date 19-21 year old women and he knew that as a single mom I was waiting for someone to come "rescue" me from my situation. As nice as possible I explained to him that I was not waiting for someone to rescue me. I have been very blessed and I'm doing well with just me and JD. I explained that while I'm sure he was a nice man, that we wouldn't ever have a relationship and I really thought he needed to seek help for depression. He had told me that he had been in the bed with his cat, watching movies for four days.
At this time, I have renewed my vow to not go on blind dates. I wonder how long that will last. ha!
Blind Date - Wipe - Outs #2
Fast forward to almost exactly one year later. This time it was Laura's dad who was certain he had found the perfect guy for me. Hard working, single dad, cute little girl and Tom was sure he needed a great woman in his life -and that woman had to be me.
I had just gotten over my nightmares from my first blind date, and I really do love Tom and I know he really loves me, so I gave in. He tells me the guy's name and then explains that he has the same first and last name. I will call him Mark Mark. Obviously that is not his real name, but you get the point.
Having learned some lessons from the first blind date, I decided that we could meet at a location that he chose. He chose bowling. I'm a good sport. I suck at all things sports-like, but I have fun playing so it doesn't bother me to do things like that on a first date.
It was pouring down rain that day. I mean a deluge of water. I get to the bowling alley, slosh my way inside, and he's not there, yet. I called Tom. About an hour later, the guy shows up. Why can't people be on time? No, why? However, it was raining so I thought maybe he got hung up in the rain.
He brought his daughter along with him. Once again, that really was okay. I mean, he's a single dad after all. The only problem is that his daughter really didn't want him to date, so she proceeded to tell me that she was the only girl for her daddy and then threw herself on the floor. Oh goodness, I felt so bad for him. Really really bad. He calls his mom, and about 30 minutes later she came to pick his little girl up.
We start bowling and we are talking. He was very nice - I wasn't really feeling anything, but he was very nice. Then he says "I need to be honest about something". Uh oh. First he tells me that he has recently started smoking again. Okay. Then he says, "Well, the biggest thing is that I am really attracted to Filipino women. My daughter's mom was Filipino and I just love those women." Y'all I am completely okay with that. However, I'm about as far from Filipino as you can get with my blue eyes and bleached blond hair. ha!
He told me that even though Tom said I wasn't Filipino, he was hoping I would show up and have some Filipino in me. I said "Are you sure Tom didn't lead you to believe in any way that I was Filipino, because if he did I am so sorry." He says "Nope. He was honest - blond hair, big blue eyes, but I thought I'd see for myself." I smiled and said "I can honestly say that I don't believe I am even a little bit Filipino. We finished up our bowling and called it a day.
To this day, I'm still not Filipino. ha! However, Mae-Beth's Scott is, so I wonder if that would count now since he's going to be my brother-in-law. Probably not. =)
I once again swore off blind dates and once again kept my promise...for two years this time.
I had just gotten over my nightmares from my first blind date, and I really do love Tom and I know he really loves me, so I gave in. He tells me the guy's name and then explains that he has the same first and last name. I will call him Mark Mark. Obviously that is not his real name, but you get the point.
Having learned some lessons from the first blind date, I decided that we could meet at a location that he chose. He chose bowling. I'm a good sport. I suck at all things sports-like, but I have fun playing so it doesn't bother me to do things like that on a first date.
It was pouring down rain that day. I mean a deluge of water. I get to the bowling alley, slosh my way inside, and he's not there, yet. I called Tom. About an hour later, the guy shows up. Why can't people be on time? No, why? However, it was raining so I thought maybe he got hung up in the rain.
He brought his daughter along with him. Once again, that really was okay. I mean, he's a single dad after all. The only problem is that his daughter really didn't want him to date, so she proceeded to tell me that she was the only girl for her daddy and then threw herself on the floor. Oh goodness, I felt so bad for him. Really really bad. He calls his mom, and about 30 minutes later she came to pick his little girl up.
We start bowling and we are talking. He was very nice - I wasn't really feeling anything, but he was very nice. Then he says "I need to be honest about something". Uh oh. First he tells me that he has recently started smoking again. Okay. Then he says, "Well, the biggest thing is that I am really attracted to Filipino women. My daughter's mom was Filipino and I just love those women." Y'all I am completely okay with that. However, I'm about as far from Filipino as you can get with my blue eyes and bleached blond hair. ha!
He told me that even though Tom said I wasn't Filipino, he was hoping I would show up and have some Filipino in me. I said "Are you sure Tom didn't lead you to believe in any way that I was Filipino, because if he did I am so sorry." He says "Nope. He was honest - blond hair, big blue eyes, but I thought I'd see for myself." I smiled and said "I can honestly say that I don't believe I am even a little bit Filipino. We finished up our bowling and called it a day.
To this day, I'm still not Filipino. ha! However, Mae-Beth's Scott is, so I wonder if that would count now since he's going to be my brother-in-law. Probably not. =)
I once again swore off blind dates and once again kept my promise...for two years this time.
Blind Date - Wipe-Outs #1
Tonight, JD and I were watching the show Wipe-Out and it was the Blind Date edition. JD looks at me and tells me that maybe I should try this approach - after all, according to him, in the animated version of Spiderman it worked for Peter and Mary Jane. I kind of laughed and told him that I actually had been on a few blind dates and they would definitely be considered "wipe-outs". He was surprised to hear that I had been on blind dates - probably because I don't discuss dating with him - EVER. He's a kid, I'm his mom, some things you just don't need to share.
That being said, it did remind me of the three blind dates I've been on. Kind of like - three strikes you're out. Each time, I promised that I was not going out on another one, and somehow I ended up trying it again.
For your reading pleasure, I will tell about those three blind dates. Please know, I am sure that each gentleman is perfect for someone else, and I'm sure they could probably tell their own stories of the date, but this is my story.
Date #1:
This one happened about two years after I was divorced. I was 26, almost 27 and I had not dated much - okay at all - since the divorce. I had been busy being a mom, working two jobs at times, and pretty much was just tired. Well, my co-workers at the hospital thought that was not acceptable.
My supervisor came to me and said that her daughter had a friend. They worked together at the Sheriff's Department and they thought we would like to go out. Mistake #1 - feeling pressured by my boss to date her daughter's friend. She explained that he was 40, but was looking for a younger woman because he had a young daughter. I was very nervous, but my co-workers assured me that was because I hadn't dated. I figured if this guy was nice enough to ask, I needed to go. I'm not going to say his real name, because there is no telling who knows him, but let's just say he was named after an animal that you might hunt in the winter. They assured me that was his birth name.
So, he calls me on a Sunday night and ask me to dinner and a movie for the next night. Before I could even answer he says "I know you don't have your son tomorrow night, so there is no reason to turn me down." I told it would be fine to pick me up that next evening. He goes to hang up and I asked "Um, don't you need directions to my house?" He says "Nope, I already know where you live". At this point I was VERY nervous. Being as he was a Sheriff's Deputy, I would completely expect for him to look me up, but please be a little better at hiding it than that.
Monday evening, I will admit that I had a bad headache, but once again chalked it up to being nervous. He shows up - 45 minutes late and when I opened the door, I almost died. Here stood a man who had his shirt unbuttoned to about the 4th button, gold medallions around his neck, and gray chest hair all hanging out. Turns out he was 47. No big deal. I understand he might be nervous, so let's go give it the good old college try.
We get out to the car, I open the door for myself and realized that he had clothes, hangers, and various other items in the front passenger seat. I move those to the back and get in. My head is really hurting now. He tells me that he knows I enjoy action movies - which is true - so he's picked out the perfect movie. I must insert here that at this time, if it didn't come on the Disney Channel or CMT, I had not seen the previews for it. We ride over to the theatre and he purchases two tickets to a movie called Hostel. It was not an action flick. It was a horror movie.
I am a people watcher, so as we are waiting for the movie to start, I am watching the people coming in. He looks at me and says "Were you wanting some popcorn?" Me "No, I'm fine, thanks". He says, "Well, you are looking at those people like you want to steal their popcorn." I just smiled. I was speechless - and that was before the movie even began. I really WAS speechless after that. Really. I couldn't think of a word to say.
My head was now into full migraine mode. He offers to take me to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner. Which by this time, I was really at a loss as to what to say. Then he says "I thought maybe we could get an appetizer because I get indigestion this late at night". Y'all that is no joke. I just smiled. We go to dinner, he orders an appetizer for us to share and I excuse myself to the restroom. I was nearly in tears when I called my best friend, Laura, and explained to her that I really needed her to stay up until I called because she wasn't going to believe this.
I went back out to the table, determined to make small talk and finish the evening with a smile. Once again, I'm sure he was nervous, too. I sit down and he says "Well, I want you to tell me about your divorce." I was stunned. See, I don't really air my laundry in public - especially on a first date. So, I said "there really isn't much to tell". He says "No, really, tell me about it. I know all about how someone can ruin your life for the rest of your life." I just smiled and said "I really don't like to discuss my divorce and I don't feel the same way." He says "Of course you do. I'll be honest enough to say that my ex ruined my life and I'll never be the same." Thankfully, our waitress showed up about that time. She walks off and he says "My ex was a lazy stay at home mom and everyone knows stay at home moms only spend money and sit around all day. She gave me a daughter and I'll be honest, I love my daughter, but she got all of my ex-wife's worst qualities."
Okay, at this point, I was having a hard time biting my tongue. I kindly explained to him that I had been a stay at home mom for five and a half years and it was wonderful, but hard - and that I would go back to it in a heartbeat. I also explained that I love my son beyond words, and I'm pretty certain he got every good gene his dad and I have. Yeah, that pretty much ended the conversation.
So, we finally start to head back home, and he pops in a tape of Irish love songs and proceeds to sing to me. By this point, I honestly was looking for the candid camera. My co-workers had given me tips on how to let a guy know you are not interested and one of the ways was to go ahead and have your house keys ready. I had those out halfway through the movie. Okay, not really, but I definitely had them in my hand the closer to the house we got.
We pull up to the apartments, and he parked in the handicap parking spot. The signs had been blown down sometime before during hurricane Ivan and never replaced, so I wasn't sure he could see that he had parked in the wrong spot. So, me being the law abiding citizen I am said "Oh, I think you parked in the handicap parking spot." No joke, he looks right at me and says "I imagine I'll be gone before the police get here...oh wait - I am the police". At this point, inner Kim barfed. Picture a small animated inner Kim losing her shared appetizer all over the place. Yep, that's what I pictured.
Needless to say, he walked me to the door, and went in for the goodnight send off - to which I put my hand out in the classic stop sign, smiled and said "Well, you be real careful going home now - okay?" I opened my door - ran up my stairs - called my best friend and swore I would NEVER go on a blind date again.
The next day my co-worker informed me that she had found out the day before the last time he had been on a date, I was in the second grade. I did feel a little bit bad for him after that. I did make it clear though that I couldn't see him again.
I promised I wan't going on another blind date, and I didn't....for another year.
That being said, it did remind me of the three blind dates I've been on. Kind of like - three strikes you're out. Each time, I promised that I was not going out on another one, and somehow I ended up trying it again.
For your reading pleasure, I will tell about those three blind dates. Please know, I am sure that each gentleman is perfect for someone else, and I'm sure they could probably tell their own stories of the date, but this is my story.
Date #1:
This one happened about two years after I was divorced. I was 26, almost 27 and I had not dated much - okay at all - since the divorce. I had been busy being a mom, working two jobs at times, and pretty much was just tired. Well, my co-workers at the hospital thought that was not acceptable.
My supervisor came to me and said that her daughter had a friend. They worked together at the Sheriff's Department and they thought we would like to go out. Mistake #1 - feeling pressured by my boss to date her daughter's friend. She explained that he was 40, but was looking for a younger woman because he had a young daughter. I was very nervous, but my co-workers assured me that was because I hadn't dated. I figured if this guy was nice enough to ask, I needed to go. I'm not going to say his real name, because there is no telling who knows him, but let's just say he was named after an animal that you might hunt in the winter. They assured me that was his birth name.
So, he calls me on a Sunday night and ask me to dinner and a movie for the next night. Before I could even answer he says "I know you don't have your son tomorrow night, so there is no reason to turn me down." I told it would be fine to pick me up that next evening. He goes to hang up and I asked "Um, don't you need directions to my house?" He says "Nope, I already know where you live". At this point I was VERY nervous. Being as he was a Sheriff's Deputy, I would completely expect for him to look me up, but please be a little better at hiding it than that.
Monday evening, I will admit that I had a bad headache, but once again chalked it up to being nervous. He shows up - 45 minutes late and when I opened the door, I almost died. Here stood a man who had his shirt unbuttoned to about the 4th button, gold medallions around his neck, and gray chest hair all hanging out. Turns out he was 47. No big deal. I understand he might be nervous, so let's go give it the good old college try.
We get out to the car, I open the door for myself and realized that he had clothes, hangers, and various other items in the front passenger seat. I move those to the back and get in. My head is really hurting now. He tells me that he knows I enjoy action movies - which is true - so he's picked out the perfect movie. I must insert here that at this time, if it didn't come on the Disney Channel or CMT, I had not seen the previews for it. We ride over to the theatre and he purchases two tickets to a movie called Hostel. It was not an action flick. It was a horror movie.
I am a people watcher, so as we are waiting for the movie to start, I am watching the people coming in. He looks at me and says "Were you wanting some popcorn?" Me "No, I'm fine, thanks". He says, "Well, you are looking at those people like you want to steal their popcorn." I just smiled. I was speechless - and that was before the movie even began. I really WAS speechless after that. Really. I couldn't think of a word to say.
My head was now into full migraine mode. He offers to take me to Ruby Tuesday's for dinner. Which by this time, I was really at a loss as to what to say. Then he says "I thought maybe we could get an appetizer because I get indigestion this late at night". Y'all that is no joke. I just smiled. We go to dinner, he orders an appetizer for us to share and I excuse myself to the restroom. I was nearly in tears when I called my best friend, Laura, and explained to her that I really needed her to stay up until I called because she wasn't going to believe this.
I went back out to the table, determined to make small talk and finish the evening with a smile. Once again, I'm sure he was nervous, too. I sit down and he says "Well, I want you to tell me about your divorce." I was stunned. See, I don't really air my laundry in public - especially on a first date. So, I said "there really isn't much to tell". He says "No, really, tell me about it. I know all about how someone can ruin your life for the rest of your life." I just smiled and said "I really don't like to discuss my divorce and I don't feel the same way." He says "Of course you do. I'll be honest enough to say that my ex ruined my life and I'll never be the same." Thankfully, our waitress showed up about that time. She walks off and he says "My ex was a lazy stay at home mom and everyone knows stay at home moms only spend money and sit around all day. She gave me a daughter and I'll be honest, I love my daughter, but she got all of my ex-wife's worst qualities."
Okay, at this point, I was having a hard time biting my tongue. I kindly explained to him that I had been a stay at home mom for five and a half years and it was wonderful, but hard - and that I would go back to it in a heartbeat. I also explained that I love my son beyond words, and I'm pretty certain he got every good gene his dad and I have. Yeah, that pretty much ended the conversation.
So, we finally start to head back home, and he pops in a tape of Irish love songs and proceeds to sing to me. By this point, I honestly was looking for the candid camera. My co-workers had given me tips on how to let a guy know you are not interested and one of the ways was to go ahead and have your house keys ready. I had those out halfway through the movie. Okay, not really, but I definitely had them in my hand the closer to the house we got.
We pull up to the apartments, and he parked in the handicap parking spot. The signs had been blown down sometime before during hurricane Ivan and never replaced, so I wasn't sure he could see that he had parked in the wrong spot. So, me being the law abiding citizen I am said "Oh, I think you parked in the handicap parking spot." No joke, he looks right at me and says "I imagine I'll be gone before the police get here...oh wait - I am the police". At this point, inner Kim barfed. Picture a small animated inner Kim losing her shared appetizer all over the place. Yep, that's what I pictured.
Needless to say, he walked me to the door, and went in for the goodnight send off - to which I put my hand out in the classic stop sign, smiled and said "Well, you be real careful going home now - okay?" I opened my door - ran up my stairs - called my best friend and swore I would NEVER go on a blind date again.
The next day my co-worker informed me that she had found out the day before the last time he had been on a date, I was in the second grade. I did feel a little bit bad for him after that. I did make it clear though that I couldn't see him again.
I promised I wan't going on another blind date, and I didn't....for another year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)