It's 4:30 on Sunday morning, and I am wide awake. Not only am I wide awake, but I have been so since 2:15. Why, you ask? Well, I have yet to figure that one out. As it usually happens when I wake up so early, I lie in bed for a little while and then start coming up with ideas of things I could do....Nair my legs, exercise, pay bills, go to Wal-Mart, paint my nails, check out my Facebook page, read, blog, pluck my eyebrows...you name it - I've probably gotten up to do it in the middle of the night. This time, I decided to go to Twitter and try to figure it out. After all, I set up an account over a year ago, but have yet to figure out how to use the darn thing. Truthfully, I've never really tried.
As any of you who have a Twitter account know, they have a character limit on updates....which is a dilemma for me. Because as any of you who know me know, while I was given the gift of communication (yeah, I know it might not be a gift, but I'm claiming it), I was not given, or maybe I just haven't developed, the art of succinct communication. When I see a place to update your profile and tell about yourself in 160 characters or less...I'm at a complete loss.
I sat there staring at the blank space wondering what 160 characters I would use to sum up who I am, and come up with absolutely nothing. Not one word - witty or otherwise to describe myself. I think I was too focused on not going over the limit, so I decided to just think about anything that describes me, my life experience, etc....
As I sat there thinking of the words that would describe me, I realized, that if I had to write down what others might use to describe me, I probably wouldn't look like much. You know what though? It's more important what He uses to describe me. Let's be real....I'd so much rather use that assessment than my own or that of anyone else.
So who am I?
In Him, I am not the sum of my life situations, circumstances, failures, short comings, or missed opportunities, but so much more. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, called with a story of my own, created in His likeness for a purpose much greater than I am or could ever hope to be on my own. I am strong in Him, triumphant, and free to be me.
At the end of the day (or morning - since it's just after 5), my Twitter profile says this about me:
Jesus follower, mother, sister, friend, and thankfully, through Him, more than what I would look like on paper.
And guess what? I still had 49 characters left to use...maybe I am getting better at using fewer words after all. Okay, probably not. =)
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
New Year - New Resolutions
I started writing this before New Year's, but as usual, I'm best when I procrastinate.....hahahahaha! Maybe I should make that a new goal. Okay, probably not.
Well, it's that time of year again. You know, the time I sit down, think about where I am, where I want to be, and promptly come up with some off the wall plan on how I'm going to get there.
Okay, so I'm taking a different approach to my resolutions this year. Instead of saying I'm gonna lose more weight than the total body weight of a small child, save more money than I make in two years, or read my Bible through three times, I'm going to be realistic in my approach. Here we go:
1. Spend more quality time reading my Bible or doing my devotionals than I do now. I'm not saying I'm going to read more necessarily, but focus more on what I'm reading. It's not a contest. I don't think there's a point system that says "Wow, Kim read 4 chapters tonight and Suzie only read 2. Kim's clearly the winner". =)
2. Whether I lose a single pound or not, I will exercise more. I love boot camp class - okay, so not while I'm in it, but shortly after we're done - and I intend to pick up an interval running class as well. Once again - it's not a competition, but it's about me feeling like I'm doing something better for my overall health.
3. Have people over more often. I want to cook dinner for friends and family and just enjoy sharing life together in a real way. No pretenses, no expectations - just good company sharing good times.
4. Make a cleaning/yard schedule and stay on it - not at the expense of missing out with the people in my life, but so that we are able to spend more time relaxing in the end. I believe that being on a schedule actually frees you up to do other things.
5. Find ways to give back to my community - and get about proactively accomplishing that. After all, who doesn't feel better after giving back to someone with no thought for what you might get in return. There are plenty of people in need - and not just financially - and I might be the person who has something to offer them. To be honest, it will probably be a time or volunteer commitment over a monetary one, but that can be as valuable as money sometimes.
6. Last, but not least, take the time to really tell those around me how much they mean to me. After all, if I lost all the weight, cleaned the house top to bottom every single day, and helped all the needy people in Pensacola, but didn't appreciate the people in my life, I would have failed.
This is our one shot - one opportunity. I want to wake up each morning expecting to make a difference where I am, who I am, and with what talents I naturally have to offer, in some one's life.
Well, it's that time of year again. You know, the time I sit down, think about where I am, where I want to be, and promptly come up with some off the wall plan on how I'm going to get there.
Okay, so I'm taking a different approach to my resolutions this year. Instead of saying I'm gonna lose more weight than the total body weight of a small child, save more money than I make in two years, or read my Bible through three times, I'm going to be realistic in my approach. Here we go:
1. Spend more quality time reading my Bible or doing my devotionals than I do now. I'm not saying I'm going to read more necessarily, but focus more on what I'm reading. It's not a contest. I don't think there's a point system that says "Wow, Kim read 4 chapters tonight and Suzie only read 2. Kim's clearly the winner". =)
2. Whether I lose a single pound or not, I will exercise more. I love boot camp class - okay, so not while I'm in it, but shortly after we're done - and I intend to pick up an interval running class as well. Once again - it's not a competition, but it's about me feeling like I'm doing something better for my overall health.
3. Have people over more often. I want to cook dinner for friends and family and just enjoy sharing life together in a real way. No pretenses, no expectations - just good company sharing good times.
4. Make a cleaning/yard schedule and stay on it - not at the expense of missing out with the people in my life, but so that we are able to spend more time relaxing in the end. I believe that being on a schedule actually frees you up to do other things.
5. Find ways to give back to my community - and get about proactively accomplishing that. After all, who doesn't feel better after giving back to someone with no thought for what you might get in return. There are plenty of people in need - and not just financially - and I might be the person who has something to offer them. To be honest, it will probably be a time or volunteer commitment over a monetary one, but that can be as valuable as money sometimes.
6. Last, but not least, take the time to really tell those around me how much they mean to me. After all, if I lost all the weight, cleaned the house top to bottom every single day, and helped all the needy people in Pensacola, but didn't appreciate the people in my life, I would have failed.
This is our one shot - one opportunity. I want to wake up each morning expecting to make a difference where I am, who I am, and with what talents I naturally have to offer, in some one's life.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Let's Put It In Perspective...
I'm sitting here on the couch, looking at boxes stacked around me, the cats sleeping - one on the couch, one on the floor - watching the First 48 on A&E, and trying to will away a nervous stomach.
See, here's what happens in Kim's World...I make a plan, I try to stick to the plan, I get my ducks in a row, and then I stress out when the plan doesn't go quite as I planned. Really if you know me, that doesn't surprise you. It's one of my only faults. ha! I've said it before and I'll say it again - I must actually think that I can control all the circumstances. I mean - don't you know - my plan is the one to stick with? Which reminded me that sometimes some of the best things in life happen outside of my plan.
You see, 7 years ago I was a stay at home mom - pretty much living the only life I had ever imagined and really ever wanted to imagine. I loved being home with JD, being a homemaker, and never wanted anything outside of that. Little did I know that less than three weeks later I would be going through a divorce, feeling like my entire world was turned upside down and wondering how in the world I was going to make it on my own. I was working night shift at Waffle House - and for those of you wondering if you make good money at Waffle House - you might, but not if you're working the one behind Winn Dixie on Blue Angel Parkway. ha! To say I was struggling, would put it mildly. Not just struggling financially, but emotionally, and any other way you could imagine. I put a brave face on, smiled when I had to, cried when nobody was looking, held onto JD for all I was worth, and did some serious talking with God. I mean I pretty much told Him how I felt about everything - and it wasn't all good, but it was honest. I felt let down, heartbroken, disillusioned, angry, sad, old, overwhelmed, - but never never did I feel hopeless. I felt cautiously optimistic at times, even excited to see how this would all play out, at others. I realized that divorce was not the hardest thing I had ever been through, and that just like I got through the other, I could make it through this. I just really didn't know how. I would cook Ramen or hot dogs when JD was with his dad so I could afford to make a "real" meal when he was with me. I would lie awake at night and worry, and worry, and then worry more. This was DEFINITELY NOT my plan.
However, almost 7 years later, it is amazing to see the process this has been. I worked at Waffle House, where I met several people who worked at the Oyster Bar on Perdido Key, who encouraged me to get a job there. I was hired the day I applied. I then got a second job working at Baptist Hospital, where I met a doctor, who would in turn put me in touch with a lady named Patricia Breeland, who would give me an opportunity to start with the Andrews Institute after Hurricane Ivan destroyed the Oyster Bar. From there, I left Liberty Church Blue Angel campus to help start North Campus, where I met Heather Slane, who would put me in touch with a job where I was an Executive Assistant for a lady with a local company - and through that experience, I had the skills and the confidence to apply for the job that I have been at for almost four years.
The day I moved into this apartment, it was cold, dreary and I was just so sad. It was my first time staying by myself overnight. Seriously. Ever. I was almost 25 and had never stayed in a house by myself overnight. This week, when we leave this apartment, it will almost seem like a lifetime ago. In some ways it is. In the past seven years, I've cried a lot, laughed even more than I cried, watched my son grow into almost a teenager, learned how to be a working mom, and who Kim really is. I have made new friends, lost a great friend to cancer, become closer to my sisters than I could have ever imagined, met people who have changed my life, learned how to bake a pretty awesome (if I do say so myself) carrot cake, focused on what was best for my child - not always what was easiest for me. I have discovered that I can say no. I can think for myself. I can state my opinion. I have kind of become a bit of a book hoarder - evidenced by the fact that I overwhelmed the Goodwill guy tonight will all the books I gave away. ha! I had added to the fine lines on my face, fallen down the stairs (literally) five times, and fixed my own toilet (yes, I'll be proud of that until the day I die). Most importantly, I realized that I can still love with all my heart.
After Hurricane Ivan, I can remember driving around and looking at houses and feeling so sad thinking that I would not be able to afford a house for me and JD. Housing prices were through the roof and I was still barely making it. So, if I seem a little emotional, excited, or just plain out crazy over the fact that we will be closing on a house this week, please know it really is just because this day seemed almost impossible to me not too very long ago. I am sure I will cry when we close. Heck, to be honest, I am crying now. Not because I am sad, but because I am so absolutely overwhelmed with thankfulness at how a plan that was not my plan is turning out. It's turning out to be a plan I could have never imagined - and I'm so thankful that my plan isn't always the one that is followed.
In closing - here are a few, very superficial, things I'm looking forward to about living in our house - not necessarily in order:
1. Being able to play Just Dance without worrying if the downstairs neighbors are going to get ticked off at us jumping around. Heck, we're gonna stay up until Midnight and jump rope in the house on the first night - just because we can.
2. Not having to take the trash down the stairs, to the car, to the dumpster - which never fails is always overflowing with yucky trash.
3. Getting to park in the garage - and not having to wait for the car to defrost to leave the house.
4. Not having people leave trash, half eaten pizzas, or rotten Jack O'Lanterns on our front doorstep.
5. Not having to carry 40 pounds of cat litter upstairs - cause y'all know I like to buy in bulk.
6. A nice large pantry to free up some space in my kitchen cabinets.
7. Neighbors to get to know - and a neighborhood to walk in.
Okay, this list is getting long, so I think y'all get the point. This could go on all night. ha!
This is an amazingly beautiful life, and I'm thankful for this opportunity.
See, here's what happens in Kim's World...I make a plan, I try to stick to the plan, I get my ducks in a row, and then I stress out when the plan doesn't go quite as I planned. Really if you know me, that doesn't surprise you. It's one of my only faults. ha! I've said it before and I'll say it again - I must actually think that I can control all the circumstances. I mean - don't you know - my plan is the one to stick with? Which reminded me that sometimes some of the best things in life happen outside of my plan.
You see, 7 years ago I was a stay at home mom - pretty much living the only life I had ever imagined and really ever wanted to imagine. I loved being home with JD, being a homemaker, and never wanted anything outside of that. Little did I know that less than three weeks later I would be going through a divorce, feeling like my entire world was turned upside down and wondering how in the world I was going to make it on my own. I was working night shift at Waffle House - and for those of you wondering if you make good money at Waffle House - you might, but not if you're working the one behind Winn Dixie on Blue Angel Parkway. ha! To say I was struggling, would put it mildly. Not just struggling financially, but emotionally, and any other way you could imagine. I put a brave face on, smiled when I had to, cried when nobody was looking, held onto JD for all I was worth, and did some serious talking with God. I mean I pretty much told Him how I felt about everything - and it wasn't all good, but it was honest. I felt let down, heartbroken, disillusioned, angry, sad, old, overwhelmed, - but never never did I feel hopeless. I felt cautiously optimistic at times, even excited to see how this would all play out, at others. I realized that divorce was not the hardest thing I had ever been through, and that just like I got through the other, I could make it through this. I just really didn't know how. I would cook Ramen or hot dogs when JD was with his dad so I could afford to make a "real" meal when he was with me. I would lie awake at night and worry, and worry, and then worry more. This was DEFINITELY NOT my plan.
However, almost 7 years later, it is amazing to see the process this has been. I worked at Waffle House, where I met several people who worked at the Oyster Bar on Perdido Key, who encouraged me to get a job there. I was hired the day I applied. I then got a second job working at Baptist Hospital, where I met a doctor, who would in turn put me in touch with a lady named Patricia Breeland, who would give me an opportunity to start with the Andrews Institute after Hurricane Ivan destroyed the Oyster Bar. From there, I left Liberty Church Blue Angel campus to help start North Campus, where I met Heather Slane, who would put me in touch with a job where I was an Executive Assistant for a lady with a local company - and through that experience, I had the skills and the confidence to apply for the job that I have been at for almost four years.
The day I moved into this apartment, it was cold, dreary and I was just so sad. It was my first time staying by myself overnight. Seriously. Ever. I was almost 25 and had never stayed in a house by myself overnight. This week, when we leave this apartment, it will almost seem like a lifetime ago. In some ways it is. In the past seven years, I've cried a lot, laughed even more than I cried, watched my son grow into almost a teenager, learned how to be a working mom, and who Kim really is. I have made new friends, lost a great friend to cancer, become closer to my sisters than I could have ever imagined, met people who have changed my life, learned how to bake a pretty awesome (if I do say so myself) carrot cake, focused on what was best for my child - not always what was easiest for me. I have discovered that I can say no. I can think for myself. I can state my opinion. I have kind of become a bit of a book hoarder - evidenced by the fact that I overwhelmed the Goodwill guy tonight will all the books I gave away. ha! I had added to the fine lines on my face, fallen down the stairs (literally) five times, and fixed my own toilet (yes, I'll be proud of that until the day I die). Most importantly, I realized that I can still love with all my heart.
After Hurricane Ivan, I can remember driving around and looking at houses and feeling so sad thinking that I would not be able to afford a house for me and JD. Housing prices were through the roof and I was still barely making it. So, if I seem a little emotional, excited, or just plain out crazy over the fact that we will be closing on a house this week, please know it really is just because this day seemed almost impossible to me not too very long ago. I am sure I will cry when we close. Heck, to be honest, I am crying now. Not because I am sad, but because I am so absolutely overwhelmed with thankfulness at how a plan that was not my plan is turning out. It's turning out to be a plan I could have never imagined - and I'm so thankful that my plan isn't always the one that is followed.
In closing - here are a few, very superficial, things I'm looking forward to about living in our house - not necessarily in order:
1. Being able to play Just Dance without worrying if the downstairs neighbors are going to get ticked off at us jumping around. Heck, we're gonna stay up until Midnight and jump rope in the house on the first night - just because we can.
2. Not having to take the trash down the stairs, to the car, to the dumpster - which never fails is always overflowing with yucky trash.
3. Getting to park in the garage - and not having to wait for the car to defrost to leave the house.
4. Not having people leave trash, half eaten pizzas, or rotten Jack O'Lanterns on our front doorstep.
5. Not having to carry 40 pounds of cat litter upstairs - cause y'all know I like to buy in bulk.
6. A nice large pantry to free up some space in my kitchen cabinets.
7. Neighbors to get to know - and a neighborhood to walk in.
Okay, this list is getting long, so I think y'all get the point. This could go on all night. ha!
This is an amazingly beautiful life, and I'm thankful for this opportunity.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Questions...
Almost every year at this time, I write a blog about my mom - only fitting, since yesterday was her birthday. Maybe it is because I am getting older, and know there are some things I will always wonder about, but I find myself wishing I could sit down with her as an adult and ask her certain questions. Here are some of the ones I would ask:
What do you think of how we all are turning out? Can you believe that Zachary is old enough to be in the military? What was it like growing up and have a birthday one day apart from Uncle Ernie? What was it like to have five kids by the time you were the age I am now? If you could travel any place in the world, where would it be? When people say we look alike - especially our mannerisms - do you see it? What is the real name for the "pink stuff" dessert we used to eat at Thanksgiving - nobody can seem to remember.
I would sit down and tell her that she was a mother to some of the strongest people I know. I would tell her how I'm amazed that I'm old enough to have a son taller than I am. I would share with her the heartache that went with getting divorced, the confidence that came from making it on my own, and the absolute excitement at building not just a house, but a home for me and JD. I would tell her how thankful I am that Mae-Beth has found Scott and they are going to start a beautiful life together. How he fits right in and made lumpia to add to our Thanksgiving meal. I would tell her how we all know we will cry when we see Maebs in her wedding dress - and we'll be laughing about all of us crying.
If you are fortunate to have your mother into adulthood, I would suggest getting to know her - not just as your mom, but as a person. As someone who has hopes, dreams, thoughts, hurts, disappointments, triumphs, and trials. There might come a time when you wonder about some of these things, but won't have the opportunity ask...
So, Happy Birthday - one day late - to the woman responsible for bringing me here. Thanks for this amazing gift of life. May I do everything I can to make each day better than the one before.
What do you think of how we all are turning out? Can you believe that Zachary is old enough to be in the military? What was it like growing up and have a birthday one day apart from Uncle Ernie? What was it like to have five kids by the time you were the age I am now? If you could travel any place in the world, where would it be? When people say we look alike - especially our mannerisms - do you see it? What is the real name for the "pink stuff" dessert we used to eat at Thanksgiving - nobody can seem to remember.
I would sit down and tell her that she was a mother to some of the strongest people I know. I would tell her how I'm amazed that I'm old enough to have a son taller than I am. I would share with her the heartache that went with getting divorced, the confidence that came from making it on my own, and the absolute excitement at building not just a house, but a home for me and JD. I would tell her how thankful I am that Mae-Beth has found Scott and they are going to start a beautiful life together. How he fits right in and made lumpia to add to our Thanksgiving meal. I would tell her how we all know we will cry when we see Maebs in her wedding dress - and we'll be laughing about all of us crying.
If you are fortunate to have your mother into adulthood, I would suggest getting to know her - not just as your mom, but as a person. As someone who has hopes, dreams, thoughts, hurts, disappointments, triumphs, and trials. There might come a time when you wonder about some of these things, but won't have the opportunity ask...
So, Happy Birthday - one day late - to the woman responsible for bringing me here. Thanks for this amazing gift of life. May I do everything I can to make each day better than the one before.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thanksgiving Cornucopia...
Say it with me - Corn-u-cop-ia...now, isn't that a fun word to say? =)
As I'm sitting here, on this morning before Thanksgiving - having procrastinated almost as much as you can about writing a Thanksgiving blog - I was thinking about all the things I'm thankful for (naturally) and how I could put that into words without sounding the same as every year before hand.
The truth of the matter is, while I am thankful for much of the same things every year, I never want my thankfulness to become routine. I never want it to be words spoken, but never fully appreciating the real value of the gifts I have been blessed with. After all, isn't it the people or things in our life that we've had to sacrifice the most for, or that other people have sacrificed the most for us, which we are most grateful? So, while you read my list items, and notice how many of them will be the same on your list, take some time to specifically remember why these are most valuable to you.
First and foremost - I am thankful for a loving Saviour who sees my faults, my needs, my joys, my sorrows, and meets me where I am. I would not be where I am today without having His hand in my life.
I am thankful that I get to be JD's mom. If he stumbles across this entry, I'm sure it will embarrass him, but I truly feel blessed with him as my child. He makes me laugh, he humbles me with his thoughtfulness - yes, he occasionally has a smart mouth (can't imagine where he gets that from), and all in all he is a 12 year old boy, but a better child I could not have asked for. Each year, I look forward to enjoying right where we are, but also seeing the amazing person he is turning out to be. It's a pretty incredible journey - one I would not trade for all the gold in the world, and one in which I realize just how quickly life can pass, so cherish every moment.
I am grateful - every single day - for my immediate family. Truly only those who lived in our house, will ever really fully understand what that was like and will share those experiences - as is the case with every family. I love that as adult we can call each other friends, and although we are different in some ways, we are alike in ways that make us fundamentally who we are. I never smell honeysuckle or see hydrangeas growing in a yard, without thinking of our youth. I'm proud of all of you and your accomplishments, and although we have all joked that God must have been having an off day or at least a sense of humor kind of day when he mapped out who would be in this family - I actually think He did a darn good job. And on a trash talking side note: I cannot wait until we throw down on our annual Thanksgiving kickball game. Yes, the older sisters usually win, but I think the team Maebs and I are on will have this one...and if not, we've got it next year. Hey, we're younger...eventually we will have youth on our side. That might be when y'all are pushing walkers, but still. ha!
I am thankful for friends who are my family by choice. I have been blessed with a few people who are like family to me. I might not say that I love y'all all the time, but I really do. I a thankful for the ones who have only been in my life a few years, and thankful for those who have stood the test of time. The ones who only know the Kim I am today and the ones who can remember the scraggly skinny blond hair, blue eyes, talk too much, girl I was growing up. Okay, so I still talk a lot. =) And....I REALLY love that so many of y'all have trucks and trailers and have actually volunteered to help me move. Awesome! Don't worry, you'll at least get a dinner out of the deal. Well, and the sense of accomplishment. ha! Seriously, I am thankful for these friendships. I don't even have to name names because y'all know exactly who you are.
Each year, I say I'm thankful for my job - and at the risk of sounding hokey - I am truly very thankful. My job has allowed me to meet some of the very people who fall in the above category. I know - shocking - being real friends with your co-workers. Whoever heard of such nonsense? After all, they are my work family. Heck, we live in cubicle world - there is no way you don't get a little personal information living in cubicle world. I am thankful work at a place where I actually enjoy going to work. Yes, I enjoy my vacation, too. =)
I am grateful for this country I get to call home - and all the men and women in our armed forces who are doing their part to make sure it stays that way. Which this year, stretched to include my oldest nephew, Zachary. I could not be more proud of the decision he made to join the Army. He is currently deployed to Afghanistan for the next year - which leads me to the next thing I am grateful for - all the moms, dads, husbands, wives, sisters, children....who are here trying to make a life while their loved one is away. I pray for the safe return of all of our soldiers, and a peace for all of their family members left here. Too many times, the family members are unsung heroes...doing what needs to be done on the home front.
And last, but certainly not least, I say it all the time and I will say it again. I am truly, wonderfully, overwhelming thankful for this beautiful gift of life. I am thankful each day to get up, have a new start, and forge out the path that will ultimately be my life's journey. I count each day a blessing and I hope to not take a single moment for granted. It reminds of the lyrics to a Rascal Flatts song -
I'm gonna stop looking back, Start moving on
Learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, Make my mark
I want to leave something here
Go out on a ledge without any net
That's what I want to be about
I want to be running when the sand runs out
I hope each of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
As I'm sitting here, on this morning before Thanksgiving - having procrastinated almost as much as you can about writing a Thanksgiving blog - I was thinking about all the things I'm thankful for (naturally) and how I could put that into words without sounding the same as every year before hand.
The truth of the matter is, while I am thankful for much of the same things every year, I never want my thankfulness to become routine. I never want it to be words spoken, but never fully appreciating the real value of the gifts I have been blessed with. After all, isn't it the people or things in our life that we've had to sacrifice the most for, or that other people have sacrificed the most for us, which we are most grateful? So, while you read my list items, and notice how many of them will be the same on your list, take some time to specifically remember why these are most valuable to you.
First and foremost - I am thankful for a loving Saviour who sees my faults, my needs, my joys, my sorrows, and meets me where I am. I would not be where I am today without having His hand in my life.
I am thankful that I get to be JD's mom. If he stumbles across this entry, I'm sure it will embarrass him, but I truly feel blessed with him as my child. He makes me laugh, he humbles me with his thoughtfulness - yes, he occasionally has a smart mouth (can't imagine where he gets that from), and all in all he is a 12 year old boy, but a better child I could not have asked for. Each year, I look forward to enjoying right where we are, but also seeing the amazing person he is turning out to be. It's a pretty incredible journey - one I would not trade for all the gold in the world, and one in which I realize just how quickly life can pass, so cherish every moment.
I am grateful - every single day - for my immediate family. Truly only those who lived in our house, will ever really fully understand what that was like and will share those experiences - as is the case with every family. I love that as adult we can call each other friends, and although we are different in some ways, we are alike in ways that make us fundamentally who we are. I never smell honeysuckle or see hydrangeas growing in a yard, without thinking of our youth. I'm proud of all of you and your accomplishments, and although we have all joked that God must have been having an off day or at least a sense of humor kind of day when he mapped out who would be in this family - I actually think He did a darn good job. And on a trash talking side note: I cannot wait until we throw down on our annual Thanksgiving kickball game. Yes, the older sisters usually win, but I think the team Maebs and I are on will have this one...and if not, we've got it next year. Hey, we're younger...eventually we will have youth on our side. That might be when y'all are pushing walkers, but still. ha!
I am thankful for friends who are my family by choice. I have been blessed with a few people who are like family to me. I might not say that I love y'all all the time, but I really do. I a thankful for the ones who have only been in my life a few years, and thankful for those who have stood the test of time. The ones who only know the Kim I am today and the ones who can remember the scraggly skinny blond hair, blue eyes, talk too much, girl I was growing up. Okay, so I still talk a lot. =) And....I REALLY love that so many of y'all have trucks and trailers and have actually volunteered to help me move. Awesome! Don't worry, you'll at least get a dinner out of the deal. Well, and the sense of accomplishment. ha! Seriously, I am thankful for these friendships. I don't even have to name names because y'all know exactly who you are.
Each year, I say I'm thankful for my job - and at the risk of sounding hokey - I am truly very thankful. My job has allowed me to meet some of the very people who fall in the above category. I know - shocking - being real friends with your co-workers. Whoever heard of such nonsense? After all, they are my work family. Heck, we live in cubicle world - there is no way you don't get a little personal information living in cubicle world. I am thankful work at a place where I actually enjoy going to work. Yes, I enjoy my vacation, too. =)
I am grateful for this country I get to call home - and all the men and women in our armed forces who are doing their part to make sure it stays that way. Which this year, stretched to include my oldest nephew, Zachary. I could not be more proud of the decision he made to join the Army. He is currently deployed to Afghanistan for the next year - which leads me to the next thing I am grateful for - all the moms, dads, husbands, wives, sisters, children....who are here trying to make a life while their loved one is away. I pray for the safe return of all of our soldiers, and a peace for all of their family members left here. Too many times, the family members are unsung heroes...doing what needs to be done on the home front.
And last, but certainly not least, I say it all the time and I will say it again. I am truly, wonderfully, overwhelming thankful for this beautiful gift of life. I am thankful each day to get up, have a new start, and forge out the path that will ultimately be my life's journey. I count each day a blessing and I hope to not take a single moment for granted. It reminds of the lyrics to a Rascal Flatts song -
I'm gonna stop looking back, Start moving on
Learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, Make my mark
I want to leave something here
Go out on a ledge without any net
That's what I want to be about
I want to be running when the sand runs out
I hope each of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
Monday, August 9, 2010
Oh The Joys Of Parenting...
I will have to say that the best gift I've been given is my son. Shocking, huh? I bet y'all couldn't have guessed that one. =) Just ask my co-workers, they pretty much know that I'm all about some JD. Let's be real - just ask anyone who has known me for more than 5 minutes.
So, in that I'm going to start by telling you some things that I cannot do for JD...some of these will be trivial, and some not so much...
I cannot, right at this moment take JD on an expensive vacation, he's not getting an iPhone anytime soon, can't run out and buy him anything his little heart desires, and not matter how I try, I will never be able to be both mama and dad to him. That's just not possible.
However, let me tell you some things I can do....
I can sit with him and watch TV (whatever he wants to watch), talk about video games, cook dinners for him, teach him to cook dinner for me, tuck him in at night, sing to him in the morning, help him with his homework, dry his tears when he cries, teach him about love by showing him love and by even correcting him, listen to his opinions, play board games, go for walks, and many more things that money can't buy.
It seems lately that I have been sadden by some people's approach to parenting. Now trust me when I tell you that there are only two pieces of parenting advice that I will ever give:
1. If you make every decision with your child in mind you can't really fail. Meaning that - no matter what - if you do what is best for your child (including discipline) then I don't think you can fail as a parent.
2. You have to realize that you are raising an adult. You aren't raising a child. You are raising someone you want to be a productive, well adjusted, adult one day. They just start out in mini form. ha!
However, sometimes I think people mistakes being able to buy everything for their children with being a great parent. Okay, who wouldn't want to just be able to hand their children everything? Okay, who would also admit that the things you value the most are things you've worked hard to obtain? So, maybe our kids don't need everything to be happy...they just need one thing. Us. It's that simple. They just need us to invest our time into them. It's a simple concept really. Take one child add some parents (or one parent if that's all there is) and add some time. It will equal moments that you will not be able to replace.
I will say that I probably value my time with JD now even more so than I did when I was a stay at home mom. Even though I wouldn't have thought that possible then, I can see now that I always assumed things would be the way they were. I would be a stay at home mom, JD would go to school and I would be waiting for him at the bus or volunteering with his class. I never dreamed that I would share custody with his dad and be a full time employee - full time mom. It's been hard sometimes to balance that "I've got to get to work" with "I want to sit on this couch and just make time stand still while we talk and watch cartoons". My mother's guilt comes out at some of the strangest times, but you know what? I think if you asked JD he would tell you 100% there is no doubt I love him and care about his everyday life.
So, I know this has been rambling on, and I know that I am not a perfect parent. Shoot, I've made mistakes. Yes, I've allowed JD to eat chocolate pudding for breakfast. However, I just wanted to put a reminder to myself - and to anyone else who might come across this - that our children are our biggest future investment. I don't want to look back one day and think of this poem:
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"
I want to look at my son one day and know that I soaked up every minute that I could. I want to remember that the future is coming fast enough - today should be enjoyed now.
So, in that I'm going to start by telling you some things that I cannot do for JD...some of these will be trivial, and some not so much...
I cannot, right at this moment take JD on an expensive vacation, he's not getting an iPhone anytime soon, can't run out and buy him anything his little heart desires, and not matter how I try, I will never be able to be both mama and dad to him. That's just not possible.
However, let me tell you some things I can do....
I can sit with him and watch TV (whatever he wants to watch), talk about video games, cook dinners for him, teach him to cook dinner for me, tuck him in at night, sing to him in the morning, help him with his homework, dry his tears when he cries, teach him about love by showing him love and by even correcting him, listen to his opinions, play board games, go for walks, and many more things that money can't buy.
It seems lately that I have been sadden by some people's approach to parenting. Now trust me when I tell you that there are only two pieces of parenting advice that I will ever give:
1. If you make every decision with your child in mind you can't really fail. Meaning that - no matter what - if you do what is best for your child (including discipline) then I don't think you can fail as a parent.
2. You have to realize that you are raising an adult. You aren't raising a child. You are raising someone you want to be a productive, well adjusted, adult one day. They just start out in mini form. ha!
However, sometimes I think people mistakes being able to buy everything for their children with being a great parent. Okay, who wouldn't want to just be able to hand their children everything? Okay, who would also admit that the things you value the most are things you've worked hard to obtain? So, maybe our kids don't need everything to be happy...they just need one thing. Us. It's that simple. They just need us to invest our time into them. It's a simple concept really. Take one child add some parents (or one parent if that's all there is) and add some time. It will equal moments that you will not be able to replace.
I will say that I probably value my time with JD now even more so than I did when I was a stay at home mom. Even though I wouldn't have thought that possible then, I can see now that I always assumed things would be the way they were. I would be a stay at home mom, JD would go to school and I would be waiting for him at the bus or volunteering with his class. I never dreamed that I would share custody with his dad and be a full time employee - full time mom. It's been hard sometimes to balance that "I've got to get to work" with "I want to sit on this couch and just make time stand still while we talk and watch cartoons". My mother's guilt comes out at some of the strangest times, but you know what? I think if you asked JD he would tell you 100% there is no doubt I love him and care about his everyday life.
So, I know this has been rambling on, and I know that I am not a perfect parent. Shoot, I've made mistakes. Yes, I've allowed JD to eat chocolate pudding for breakfast. However, I just wanted to put a reminder to myself - and to anyone else who might come across this - that our children are our biggest future investment. I don't want to look back one day and think of this poem:
If I had my child to raise all over again,
I'd build self-esteem first, and the house later.
I'd finger-paint more, and point the finger less.
I would do less correcting and more connecting.
I'd take my eyes off my watch, and watch with my eyes.
I'd take more hikes and fly more kites.
I'd stop playing serious, and seriously play.
I would run through more fields and gaze at more stars.
I'd do more hugging and less tugging.
Diane Loomans, from "If I Had My Child To Raise Over Again"
I want to look at my son one day and know that I soaked up every minute that I could. I want to remember that the future is coming fast enough - today should be enjoyed now.
Saturday, July 31, 2010
All The Single Ladies...
I read a friend's blog earlier this week and she was asking why we don't celebrate being single. Well, we must have been on the same page, because I have been wondering the same.
Being 31 and single, I often encounter people who give you the look of pity and say things like "Your time is coming", "God has a plan", and "Don't worry, you're still young". Here's a newsflash and I really don't mean this ugly, but I already know all those things. You know what else? I don't exactly feel like I'm lacking or somehow defunct because I am not in a relationship. Let me tell you what being single has taught me....
Being single has taught me the joy of being alone and not lonely. During this time, I've really learned who Kim is...not just the mama part of me (which tends to be the person I am most the time), but the part of me that fundamentally makes me who I am. I have fixed my own toilet, plunged my sink, taken out trash, hung curtains, moved furniture, and all kinds of other things that I know I would have relied on someone else to do.
I too often hear people - mostly women - who seem to feel incomplete because they are not in a relationship. My only advice to them is that you need to be complete in yourself before you are in a relationship with someone else. Usually when I say that I get questions that pretty much mean "You're a man hater, aren't you?" I hate to disappoint, but no, I'm not a man-hater. =) I don't want to burn my bra in protest, have only female animals, or join a book club where women sit around and discuss Oprah book club books, the latest movie on Lifetime, and entertain everyone with how someone did me wrong.
I guess my question is: Why isn't okay just to be where you are? I understand that we all have dreams and goals in life, but take some time to enjoy right where you are today.
So, in conclusion...I'm 31, single, yes, I have two cats - no, I'm not crazy, and all in all it's a pretty beautiful, amazing life.
Being 31 and single, I often encounter people who give you the look of pity and say things like "Your time is coming", "God has a plan", and "Don't worry, you're still young". Here's a newsflash and I really don't mean this ugly, but I already know all those things. You know what else? I don't exactly feel like I'm lacking or somehow defunct because I am not in a relationship. Let me tell you what being single has taught me....
Being single has taught me the joy of being alone and not lonely. During this time, I've really learned who Kim is...not just the mama part of me (which tends to be the person I am most the time), but the part of me that fundamentally makes me who I am. I have fixed my own toilet, plunged my sink, taken out trash, hung curtains, moved furniture, and all kinds of other things that I know I would have relied on someone else to do.
I too often hear people - mostly women - who seem to feel incomplete because they are not in a relationship. My only advice to them is that you need to be complete in yourself before you are in a relationship with someone else. Usually when I say that I get questions that pretty much mean "You're a man hater, aren't you?" I hate to disappoint, but no, I'm not a man-hater. =) I don't want to burn my bra in protest, have only female animals, or join a book club where women sit around and discuss Oprah book club books, the latest movie on Lifetime, and entertain everyone with how someone did me wrong.
I guess my question is: Why isn't okay just to be where you are? I understand that we all have dreams and goals in life, but take some time to enjoy right where you are today.
So, in conclusion...I'm 31, single, yes, I have two cats - no, I'm not crazy, and all in all it's a pretty beautiful, amazing life.
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