All The Single Ladies...

I read a friend's blog earlier this week and she was asking why we don't celebrate being single.  Well, we must have been on the same page, because I have been wondering the same.

Being 31 and single, I often encounter people who give you the look of pity and say things like "Your time is coming", "God has a plan", and "Don't worry, you're still young".  Here's a newsflash and I really don't mean this ugly, but I already know all those things.  You know what else?  I don't exactly feel like I'm lacking or somehow defunct because I am not in a relationship.  Let me tell you what being single has taught me....

Being single has taught me the joy of being alone and not lonely.  During this time, I've really learned who Kim is...not just the mama part of me (which tends to be the person I am most the time), but the part of me that fundamentally makes me who I am.  I have fixed my own toilet, plunged my sink, taken out trash, hung curtains, moved furniture, and all kinds of other things that I know I would have relied on someone else to do.

I too often hear people - mostly women - who seem to feel incomplete because they are not in a relationship.  My only advice to them is that you need to be complete in yourself before you are in a relationship with someone else.  Usually when I say that I get questions that pretty much mean "You're a man hater, aren't you?"  I hate to disappoint, but no, I'm not a man-hater.  =)  I don't want to burn my bra in protest, have only female animals, or join a book club where women sit around and discuss Oprah book club books, the latest movie on Lifetime, and entertain everyone with how someone did me wrong. 

I guess my question is:  Why isn't okay just to be where you are?  I understand that we all have dreams and goals in life, but take some time to enjoy right where you are today. 

So, in conclusion...I'm 31, single, yes, I have two cats -  no, I'm not crazy, and all in all it's a pretty beautiful, amazing life.

Complete Thoughts....

I cannot believe the month of July has almost passed without one blog written.  Really?  How did that happen?  When I went out to edit an old post, I realized that I had 7, yes SEVEN, partial blog entries sitting out there.  Now, when have y'all known me not to have something to say?  I had blogs on contentment, laugh lines, feeling funky - a whole range of thoughts and emotions and yet, not one finished blog entry. 

So, here's an update...since I last blogged, I'm glad to say that both my pride and well other areas have recovered from the splinter.  I will be honest enough to say that I was at the same house where the splinter incident took place just last Friday, and I didn't sit on the outside deck.  Ha!  One splinter - complete with the loss of my dignity - is enough for me.  =)

I guess the biggest thing is that I have been house hunting.  Now, let me tell you something that I'm sure you already know - the mantra for house hunting is "You don't know - unless you go".  We have seen houses online that looked beautiful, only to get there and the entire kitchen be missing.  No, really.  We've seen great houses in not so great neighborhoods, crappy houses in wonderful neighborhoods, and a lot of houses in between.  It's been very exciting to go looking.  I am definitely taking my time in this process.  Buying a house is a huge decision, and I want us to move in knowing we are going to be there for a long time...not move in looking for our next house.

Since the last time I blogged I've experienced credit card fraud, the check engine light came on in the car, I had to get glasses, written letters to troops, made my first ever homemade German chocolate cake, took a couple of days vacation, bought new sonic toothbrushes, celebrated 4th of July with fireworks, tears and a slaw dog, had dinner with an old friend from high school, made several new friends, spent countless hours discussing video games and various other things that 11 year old boys are interested in (man I love that kid), laughed so hard I instantly added to my laugh lines, and yeah, probably even cried once or twice (Dang that Toy Story 3 - that is what did it). 

All in all...I'd say it's been a pretty typical month in the life of Kim.  ha!  So, there you go...I think I just summed up all of those 7 unfinished blog entries at once.  That might just be the most amazing thing that has happened all month.  =)

 

Now That's Really Unfortunate...

As promised...here is the splinter story.

Sunday afternoon, our church had several cook-outs a different houses through out town.  The deal is that you chose a cook-out to go to and then you maybe met new people from church.  Great idea - by the way.

Anyways, I show up at this cook-out, homemade carrot cake in hand (it was so hot that the icing melted off my cake - but it was all gone, so they still liked it), and start making nice with people.  I walk outside with my friend Sara and we decide on these built in wooden seats on the deck.  Now, many people had been sitting on these before me, but wouldn't you know....

I sat down, looked at Sara and said "Um, either something just stung me through my jeans, or I currently have a splinter in my BEHIND!!!"   Of course, I stand up, Sara looks - starts laughing - and pulls a three inch piece of wood out of my jeans.  She's laughing, I'm laughing, but then I realize we have a problem.  I look at her and say...."Um, Sara, that's great and all, but the wood broke off and I still have a splinter in my behind....right now....and it's not comfortable."  Sweet Sara looks at me, laughs, and says "Now that's really unfortunate". 

What do I do?  I kind of sit on the other side and try not to further push the splinter in. 

After the cook-out, my older sister Becky asks me to come down to her neighbor's house.  Now, I say "neighbor" but the neighbors are all kind of like family.  I explained about my splinter, but said I'd run by anyways.  I show up at Pam's, and Becky is on it....she is sure my splinter is going to get infected - I absolutely HAVE to get the splinter out then.  I was sure I could do it myself...Pam and Becky were not. 

I should insert here and say that Becky has no problem changing clothes and stripping down in front of folks, but I'm not the same way. 

Pam is a nurse, and they were not going to leave me alone until the splinter was removed.  After about 20 minutes of listening to the both of them go on and on - I somehow ended up in Pam's bathroom, with Pam and Becky both trying to practice splinter removal techniques.  Yeah, not one of my finer moments.

Pam then stated that I probably wasn't going to come to her house ever again - after ended up with them in the bathroom - I told her that she might get more people to come over if they knew that much fun was going on.  ha! 

So, the splinter is gone - along with my dignity, but hey - isn't that just like something that would happen to me? 

Oh Goodness...It's Soap Box Time

It's no news that we have all been watching the oil spill and wondering what the end result is going to be for our community.  However, lately, I've heard a few people compare the oil spill to 9-11.  I was going to let it go, but I just can't.  No, no I can't.

While I am not taking anything away from the 11 families that lost love ones - and it actually makes me sad that there was not more coverage on that fact - and I'm not taking away from the families that are going to be economically impacted for a long time from this, I think it is safe to say that the oil spill does not even begin to compare to 9-11.

The end result is that the oil spill was an industrial accident.  A major failure and completely unacceptable, yes, but an accident all the same.  I'm sorry, but this in no way compares to the loss of life of several thousand people on one day - not to mention the thousands that have gone to war since then - or the fact that an entire nation of people had their sense of security removed in an instant.  BP is not waging jihad against the Gulf Coast.  I don't lie awake in bed at night and wonder if they are planning a way to unleash tons of oil across other states.

I think that if you are making comparisons to the two, not only does it show your insensitivity to a very sensitive subject, but it also shows your complete ignorance.  This is not about being a Democrat or Republican, but about being an American and remembering not only what we went through that day in September, but also what our men and women in the military have gone through since then.

So, I'm sorry...no, actually, I'm not.  While the oil spill is definitely an economic and environmental disaster it in no way compares to 9-11. 

Come Next Monday...

I started a new blog to track my weight loss journey - ups and downs - good days, bad days, and downright ugly days.  I plan on being completely honest - which means I might not be so nice some days, but maybe someone else will stumble upon it and realize that they are not the only ones going through the same thing.  So many times you hear people talk about how good they feel losing weight and how nice it is - and yes, those things are true - but there are bad days, too.  Days when you want to eat a gigantic burger or piece of cake and days when you might actually do that, too and then feel like crap afterwards.  Well, I intend on documenting every step of the way.

The title of the blog is Come Next Monday. 

I chose that name because it always seems that I am saying "come next Monday" I am starting a new diet, workout plans, whatever.  Well, from now on....come next Monday.....I will be healthier me.  Each Monday will be a healthy day, not one where I'm starting a new diet or workout program, but one where I know I am on the right track.

If y'all want to check it out, please feel free.

http://www.comenextmonday.blogspot.com/

Have a wonderful Sunday!

Random Smiles Part 2

The Grilling Season is upon us, so I thought I would remind everyone to practice safe grilling techniques. Here are two reasons why my son cringes every time he sees me head out the door with a lighter, charcoal, and lighter fluid....

1. Once upon a time, I was married, and in this marriage I cleaned house, raised a baby, took out the trash, and many other things, but one thing I did not do was fire up the grill. I guess the reason for that was because he liked to grill, and I liked to eat the grilled food, but was content with just making the sides.

One hot Summer day, Johnny's sister, Janna, came and picked JD up for a play date and I spontaneously asked if they would like to join us for dinner that night. What were we having? Well, hamburgers from the grill of course. Johnny wasn't going to be home until later, but I am a very productive woman and I can grill. I think. I've seen it done a ton of times.

The grill is on our back deck, so I walk outside, put the charcoal in and strike a match, but nothing happens. I go round up some lighter fluid. The only problem is that we don't have a full bottle, but several partial bottles. I decide that more is always better and proceed to drench the charcoal.

I lit the match, walked towards the grill, extend my arm and the match doesn't even make it to the grill before this huge ball of flames shoots up in the air, and burns what little hair I have on my arm off.

Now, I know we have all heard of "stop, drop, and roll", but that isn't what crossed my mind. I jumped, screamed, and sprinted off the deck - all the while yelling "THANK YOU, JESUS...OH THANK YOU, LORD. I'M NOT ON FIRE. I'M NOT ON FIRE". I was loud enough that the neighbors ran out and over to the house to see what was going on.

Johnny made me promise I would not use the grill again.

2. Fast forward several years. I am now divorced.

Summer is upon us and I realize that I am in charge of grilling my own food. I buy a tiny table top grill, put it together, and this time it comes with a bag of charcoal that already has lighter fluid in it. This cannot fail. Right? Right.

Usually, I get myself in trouble when I decide to deviate from the plan.

I put this little grill on my porch step, and try to light it, only it won't light because the wind is blowing too hard. So, I moved it to the side of the apartment, in the grass. I struck the match, put it in the bag of charcoal and then pick the grill up to move it back to the steps. I'm going to admit that at this point I did not have the sense that God gave a billy goat.

When I picked the dang grill up, the legs fell off of it. As I turned to corner, which it was only a couple of steps from where I was to where I wanted to be, the wind hit the bag and my little flame turned into a sure enough fire. A fire, in a grill that I am holding. Have y'all seen me? I'm only 5'1 which means I don't exactly have a long arm span.

The fire burns my arm, I drop the grill, and as luck would have it, the grill turned over causing the grass to catch on fire. At this point, I'm in a panic. What to do? What to do? Thankfully, JD was in the house, so he wasn't witnessing the fact that his mama was about to burn the place down.

About that time, these two Navy guys that lived next door arrive home, to see our grass on fire, and me in panic mode. The made quick work of putting out the small grass fire, the grill, and reassuring me that it was okay. Needless to say, I didn't grill out, but those boys got homemade lasagna, french bread, and a salad for dinner. And once again, my grilling spatula was hung up...

Our new tradition became that I would buy the steaks and shrimp and Scott, my best friend's husband, would do the grilling. For a while...

I am proud to say that a couple of years later, I bought a bigger grill, more charcoal, the Girls Guide to Grilling, came prepared with a little patience, and not so much lighter fluid, and I learned to grill. It was good. After all, everything tastes better on a charcoal grill.

Enjoy Summer. If you see a big plume of smoke from our direction, don't be too alarmed, I'm just back at the grill.

Random Smiles...

Lately, it seems that people are asking me how such funny situations happen in my life. I've decided that really my life is no more or less funny than most, but that I see the humor in my situations. So, for your entertainment - here are a couple of funny stories...

1. How did I Nair the cat?

Well, technically, the cat Naired himself. No, really. JD was with his dad and I had some time to kill, so I decided to Nair my legs. After the Nair incident of 2001, I promised I wouldn't use that stuff again, but every now and then, I can't help it. Okay, I digress....

Anyways, I am lathering up my legs - and I mean I am putting a TON of this stuff on - when Crackers, the cat, comes into the bathroom. Now, don't take too long picturing this, but here I am, covered in Nair on my legs, Nair on my hands, and this goofy cat won't leave. Well, Crackers might be a gigantic cat, but he's also a scaredy cat. So, I make some kind of sudden movement and the cat runs off....but only after brushing the side of my leg and cover the side of his head in Nair.

What do I do? Freak out, of course. I jump up, wash my hands, grab a towel and the chase is on. Only now, Crackers really can't figure out why I'm running after him and he picks up the pace. It took several minutes for me to corner him. Then I realized I should have wet the towel. So, I'm still covered in Nair and I have to let the cat go so I can go wet the towel. The chase resumes. I finally catch him again, hold him down, and scrub his face and obviously a bit of his fur off, too. Poor cat.

See, some people would've been aggravated with that situation. Me? I really got a picture of what we must have looked like and I was cracking up.

2. What was the Nair incident of 2001?

I've also decided that women do all kinds of things in the name of beauty. I have shaved, waxed, Naired, and plucked all in the name of hair removal - and I'm not even a hairy person. I feel bad for the women who are hairy and feel the need to do these same things.

Back in 2001, I was a 22 year old, stay at home mom. One Wednesday, I decided to Nair my under arms. Seriously, don't ask why. So, I buy the quickest acting Nair I can find, come home, JD goes down for a nap and I decide to get it over with. Here is where things went wonky...

I lather up, read that you should keep the Nair on for 4-6 minutes, and then rinse. Only, I start thinking about how under arm hair surely must be more difficult to remove than leg hair, so I think it will take longer. I left it on for about 10 minutes....it started to burn. Did I mention that I really don't have a lot of hair anyways?

I jump in the shower and realized that I've managed to burn off the first layer of skin under both of my arms and y'all that was no joke. I called my husband and informed him that JD and I would not be going to church that night because there was no way I could put on deodorant.

Well, Johnny was so nice, and decided to bring home some Aloe Vera burn gel for me. His mom kept some in her fridge at all times. He comes home, and decides he will help me. I lift up both of my arms and on goes the gel.

I hit the floor in a hail of bad language and laughter through my tears. That crap wasn't made for chemical burns - it was made for SUN burns. Oh, the pain. He grabs a towel and tries to scrub it off. I'm pretty certain I said something like "NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!", as in slow-mo I see the abrasive towel coming for me.

It took many days for my under arms to heal up and I was pretty certain I would never Nair again - wax maybe - but not Nair.