Lately, I've had an old blog post on my mind. Sometimes I blog because I think that maybe - just maybe - if someone stumbled across this they might read something that would encourage them where they are. However, I also blog just for myself. It's a stress reliever, an outlet, a way to remember some of my past journeys - a story, written in my own words, which I sometimes come back to just to reflect on where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going.
So, even though this post was originally written in the Fall, and it certainly is not Fall-like weather outside, I wanted to share this again. Pretty appropriate that with all the running I've been doing lately training for the half marathon I would be thinking of an old post about running.
I hope you enjoy....and although it was 100 degrees outside today, I still look forward to going out and running tomorrow. =)
Originally Posted October 20, 2008
Okay, so I know I tend to blog a lot about the same things...however, I guess it's just me. Maybe that means God is trying to tell me something and apparently He feels the need to tell me over and over because I'm a little thick headed. In turn, I share it with y'all.
Tonight, I decided to run down the road for something...not literally, but in the car. It was right before the sun was starting to set, and as I headed out I couldn't help but notice just how beautiful it was outside. It just felt clean. I ran my errand, and headed back west - right into the beautiful sunset. I felt like I could drive forever - and just watch the sun go down. It was a sky filled with colors that really have no names...hard to describe because words like, pink, orange, red, with a hint of blue, just don't seem to describe the majestic painting that was there for all to see. Once again...Fall is here.
This is my probably my favorite time of year to run. The air feels clean and crisp, and after months of feeling like you are breathing under water with all the humidity, you really appreciate the change. It's like one day it is 97 degrees with 98% humidity, and the next it is a nice 80 without humidity.
On my drive tonight I once again began to think about how we are all running. We are either running from something or to something, and sometimes we are doing both.
Sometimes we lace up our shoes and just start running trying to outrun ourselves, or someone else, and we have no destination in mind - just running to get away. We run until we can't breathe, until our legs are jelly, until there is no thought but just putting one foot in front of the other and moving. We run so that we don't have to think. We get up, go to work, go through the motions, compartmentalize, run home, do all of our errands, and run until exhausted, we fall asleep - or not. Even then, we are running to something. However, because we are running blindly, we are not creating our destiny, but desperately just trying to stay out of the pot holes, briars, or ditches that come up. We have our heads down, blinders on, and just can't seem to stop for fear that the stray dog that is chasing us just might catch up. We know that if we stop, we are through. We are running out of desperation.
Then there are the times when we lace up, map out our plan, strap on the iPod, drink some water, open the door to a new day, and begin a run that will put us on the path to fulfilling God's greatness in our life. We say a prayer, we put our faith in Him, and we set out. We start at a nice jog, breathe in the fresh clean air, feel our muscles start to kick in, and realize that this will be a fantastic run. We look at the obstacles around us - the pot holes, briars, ditches, stray dogs - and see them for what they really are - just a test for our strength. We look around and see the wondrous mercies that have been afforded us. We take in the scenery. We pick up the pace, wave to the neighbors, run with our head held high, run until our legs start to feel stronger, until our lungs are filled with praise, until our heart starts to beat with His. We run until we realize that while we might have mapped out a plan, He has a greater one. He has a plan that might not lead us where we thought - as a matter of fact, it probably won't - yet, we look around and can see that you are right where you are supposed to be. We are running out of praise, out of love, out of thankfulness, out of excitement for the future.
I have been in both pairs of shoes...on both paths. I ran out of desperation. I ran until I realized that unless I am running out of love, I'm not going to be able to complete the course. I ran until, exhausted, I finally decided that nothing, not even the pot holes, briars, and dogs, could be worse than that feeling. Nothing could be worse than always trying to run faster - and not being able to outrun the true reason I felt couldn't stop - because no matter how fast I ran, I couldn't outrun myself. I woke up and realized that I was so tangled up in everything, that I was really running in place, like on a treadmill, and it would never end. I took off the blinders, looked around, and promptly broke down.
Then thankfully, I began to run again. I began to move in a new way, with new thoughts, with new beginnings. I stepped off the treadmill, and hit the road. I gave it over, and now I no longer run alone. I always have Him there to guide me. I have Him to run ahead, check out the path, and tell me how to proceed. Now, do I always go with the plan? I would like to say, yes, however, sometimes I forget that I don't have to do it on my own. You know what, though? As soon as I come back to my senses, He is still there waiting. Always waiting for me. Always reminding me that the path ahead will lead to His plan. Always telling me that even when it's raining, when the mosquitoes are out, when the sun is so hot it is almost like the pavement is melting, when the path is bumpy, He is right there.
So, tonight, I am thankful. I'm thankful for this beautiful weather, thankful for this beautiful life. I am most thankful for His plan for my life. I am ready to put on my running shoes and continue to run into my destiny. The one that is created just for me - not out of desperation, but out of love. I am thankful that I don't have to do it on my own, because truly I am not that strong.
I hope y'all have a wonderful night! I am so looking forward to literally putting on my running shoes tomorrow, and taking it outside! Woo hoo!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
I Want To Be A Dreamer When I Grow Up...
When you were little and you were asked what you wanted to be; a fireman, doctor, teacher, farmer, author, President, there were no limits to what we could dream up. I've thought a lot about this lately and wondered when did we stop dreaming?
Years back, I remember telling someone how excited I was that I had a job with benefits. My exact quote was something along these lines "When I was a kid I used to dream of being an author or teacher or stay at home mom, now my dream job is just one that includes health insurance." Don't get me wrong, that is very important, but is that really my "dream" job?
So, the questions for myself are: What do I dream about? Why did I stop dreaming? What does it hurt if I start dreaming again?
I have heard a lot of people talk about how you stop dreaming because you have been hurt or not been able to see your dreams come to life. I do agree with that - I mean we all know that there are only so many times you can go out on a limb,and have that limb come crashing down - only to have our fall broken by all the other limbs on the way down - to realize that it is much safer by the trunk of the tree or even better on the ground. However, I also think we stop dreaming because we become distracted....distracted by life. We go to work, clean our house, pay our bills, and one day we wake up and realize that we have been working towards a lot of things - some of them very important - but we lost our dream. We've lost the wonder of believing that anything was possible. We've settled for the mundane.
Now, I'm not saying that you should wake up and leave all your responsibilities to go pan for gold in North Carolina because you've always dreamed you'd find the mother load, but what does your heart really desire? When the lights go down and it is just you - what do you dream about?
I think it's important to find that place again. It's important to open up my heart and dare to dream again. It's important to realize that my dream is as unique as I am and it is there for a reason. What does it hurt to dream big? What is the worst possible thing that could happen from having a dream that seems larger than I am?
I read a quote - which I absolutely LOVE - and think I might have to put on the fridge:
~If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves~
Thomas Edison
Thomas Edison...now that's a man who knew what it was like to dream. Can you imagine if he had thought his dreams were too big to see come true? Think of how different our lives would be. That's a person who didn't wait for someone else to validate his dreams before he went for them.
So, here I am...June 5, 2011 - deciding to start dreaming. Get ready y'all because this could get good. =)
This is a beautiful, dream filled life.
Years back, I remember telling someone how excited I was that I had a job with benefits. My exact quote was something along these lines "When I was a kid I used to dream of being an author or teacher or stay at home mom, now my dream job is just one that includes health insurance." Don't get me wrong, that is very important, but is that really my "dream" job?
So, the questions for myself are: What do I dream about? Why did I stop dreaming? What does it hurt if I start dreaming again?
I have heard a lot of people talk about how you stop dreaming because you have been hurt or not been able to see your dreams come to life. I do agree with that - I mean we all know that there are only so many times you can go out on a limb,and have that limb come crashing down - only to have our fall broken by all the other limbs on the way down - to realize that it is much safer by the trunk of the tree or even better on the ground. However, I also think we stop dreaming because we become distracted....distracted by life. We go to work, clean our house, pay our bills, and one day we wake up and realize that we have been working towards a lot of things - some of them very important - but we lost our dream. We've lost the wonder of believing that anything was possible. We've settled for the mundane.
Now, I'm not saying that you should wake up and leave all your responsibilities to go pan for gold in North Carolina because you've always dreamed you'd find the mother load, but what does your heart really desire? When the lights go down and it is just you - what do you dream about?
I think it's important to find that place again. It's important to open up my heart and dare to dream again. It's important to realize that my dream is as unique as I am and it is there for a reason. What does it hurt to dream big? What is the worst possible thing that could happen from having a dream that seems larger than I am?
I read a quote - which I absolutely LOVE - and think I might have to put on the fridge:
~If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would literally astound ourselves~
Thomas Edison
Thomas Edison...now that's a man who knew what it was like to dream. Can you imagine if he had thought his dreams were too big to see come true? Think of how different our lives would be. That's a person who didn't wait for someone else to validate his dreams before he went for them.
So, here I am...June 5, 2011 - deciding to start dreaming. Get ready y'all because this could get good. =)
This is a beautiful, dream filled life.
I Do, Backwards Pants, Tossing Cookies, and Towels on the Carpet...
As you may or may not know - more likely may, since I talked about it for a year - my younger sister, Mae-Beth, got married last weekend. It was a GREAT time filled with laughter, tears, kickball, manicures, and even beer - for those drinking beer. I'm personally not a drinker because of two main reasons #1 and really important - I have never found anything that I thought actually tasted good and #2 - I like being in control too much, am always the driver, and don't want to feel like crud the next day. Okay, that was really like reasons 2, 3, and 4, but you get the point. =)
That being said, when I woke up on Sunday morning, I felt like someone who had been drinking the day before. It suddenly dawned on me that I probably had not drank enough water and we had spent most of the day outside in over 90 degree weather. Yeah, I was a little dehydrated. That wasn't going to stop me though - I was staying on the half marathon plan. So, I left my house, met Laura, and did three miles all the while wondering why my pants kept feeling like they were slipping in the back. I was aggravated. I had a headache, it was H-O-T hot outside and dadgum if my pants weren't slipping down. ARGH!! I got back to the house, go to get in the shower and had to laugh...I had put my pants on backwards. Nice. Just nice. I decided the hardest decision I would make the rest of that day would be whether I was going to eat leftovers or just some peanut butter toast for dinner.
On Tuesday, I got up, met Laura, and she informed me that her friend - the one who I'm hoping likes to water her grass while we run - is going to go with us. So, we go off in to meet her at her house...only she's not there, so we take shortcuts through the neighborhood and still can't find her. Turns out - she was taking shortcuts looking for us. It was already warm outside, but reminded me why I love to exercise in the mornings because it is not nearly as hot outside at 5 as it is at 8. No, not nearly. It's amazing how much of a difference a few hours can make.
When I got to work on Tuesday, a reminder popped up on my calendar that a few of us were supposed to go to lunch for finishing a major project. I had totally forgotten about that, but it was a free lunch so YEA! Let me just say, that "free" lunch cost me a lot more than anticipated. Within a short period after finishing lunch, I knew something was very wrong. More wrong than I like to admit. Wrong enough that I tossed my cookies four times from the time I got back to the office from lunch until I walked in my house less than an hour later. Even the cats wouldn't come around. Seriously. For almost an entire day, when I would walk in one room, they would run out. Probably because it was more like I was running past them to the bathroom, but still. ha! I lost 4.5 pounds in a day and decided to not do any exercise on Wednesday. It was the first time since I've started this program that I had an unscheduled rest day. I needed it.
It's been four weeks since I've made the decision to run/walk a half marathon, and one action made me realize even further the difference between renting and owning my own home. You see, last Sunday, when I was sooo hot, I stumbled into the house, wanting nothing more than to chug 4 cups of water and lie down under the ceiling fan. The only problem with that is I was soaked with sweat. Yes, soaked. Ugh. Now, some of y'all wouldn't see what the problem is - and honestly, 6 months ago, I wouldn't have either, but now I am a homeowner. I'm a homeowner who doesn't want my sweat soaked body laid out on my carpet - only to sweat soak my new carpet. So, I did what anyone would do...I put a towel down and promptly did my best Rip Van Winkle impression - well, if Rip Van Winkle had just finished exercising in the Florida heat, lacking hydration, and facial hair (I know y'all have seen the beard on that mug and I'm not sporting a beard...thankfully - because I just realized how nasty that would have been after a run....ewwwwww).
Anyways, now I have a pre-run/walk routine. I get a huge cup of water, put it on the coffee table, put a towel down beside said coffee table and make sure all is ready to go for when I come back. That way, all I have to do is come in the door, unlace my shoes, take about 6 more steps and everything I need to recover is waiting on me. =) I say it's pretty smart - you might think it's weird - I'm okay with that...after all, this is about me, right? hahaha!
This is a beautiful life!
That being said, when I woke up on Sunday morning, I felt like someone who had been drinking the day before. It suddenly dawned on me that I probably had not drank enough water and we had spent most of the day outside in over 90 degree weather. Yeah, I was a little dehydrated. That wasn't going to stop me though - I was staying on the half marathon plan. So, I left my house, met Laura, and did three miles all the while wondering why my pants kept feeling like they were slipping in the back. I was aggravated. I had a headache, it was H-O-T hot outside and dadgum if my pants weren't slipping down. ARGH!! I got back to the house, go to get in the shower and had to laugh...I had put my pants on backwards. Nice. Just nice. I decided the hardest decision I would make the rest of that day would be whether I was going to eat leftovers or just some peanut butter toast for dinner.
On Tuesday, I got up, met Laura, and she informed me that her friend - the one who I'm hoping likes to water her grass while we run - is going to go with us. So, we go off in to meet her at her house...only she's not there, so we take shortcuts through the neighborhood and still can't find her. Turns out - she was taking shortcuts looking for us. It was already warm outside, but reminded me why I love to exercise in the mornings because it is not nearly as hot outside at 5 as it is at 8. No, not nearly. It's amazing how much of a difference a few hours can make.
When I got to work on Tuesday, a reminder popped up on my calendar that a few of us were supposed to go to lunch for finishing a major project. I had totally forgotten about that, but it was a free lunch so YEA! Let me just say, that "free" lunch cost me a lot more than anticipated. Within a short period after finishing lunch, I knew something was very wrong. More wrong than I like to admit. Wrong enough that I tossed my cookies four times from the time I got back to the office from lunch until I walked in my house less than an hour later. Even the cats wouldn't come around. Seriously. For almost an entire day, when I would walk in one room, they would run out. Probably because it was more like I was running past them to the bathroom, but still. ha! I lost 4.5 pounds in a day and decided to not do any exercise on Wednesday. It was the first time since I've started this program that I had an unscheduled rest day. I needed it.
It's been four weeks since I've made the decision to run/walk a half marathon, and one action made me realize even further the difference between renting and owning my own home. You see, last Sunday, when I was sooo hot, I stumbled into the house, wanting nothing more than to chug 4 cups of water and lie down under the ceiling fan. The only problem with that is I was soaked with sweat. Yes, soaked. Ugh. Now, some of y'all wouldn't see what the problem is - and honestly, 6 months ago, I wouldn't have either, but now I am a homeowner. I'm a homeowner who doesn't want my sweat soaked body laid out on my carpet - only to sweat soak my new carpet. So, I did what anyone would do...I put a towel down and promptly did my best Rip Van Winkle impression - well, if Rip Van Winkle had just finished exercising in the Florida heat, lacking hydration, and facial hair (I know y'all have seen the beard on that mug and I'm not sporting a beard...thankfully - because I just realized how nasty that would have been after a run....ewwwwww).
Anyways, now I have a pre-run/walk routine. I get a huge cup of water, put it on the coffee table, put a towel down beside said coffee table and make sure all is ready to go for when I come back. That way, all I have to do is come in the door, unlace my shoes, take about 6 more steps and everything I need to recover is waiting on me. =) I say it's pretty smart - you might think it's weird - I'm okay with that...after all, this is about me, right? hahaha!
This is a beautiful life!
Thursday, May 26, 2011
New Running Partner, New Kicks, and Greatness Within...
I know it has been almost two weeks since my last update, but man has that time gone by fast. Without further ado, I will fill you in on what's going on...
1. I have a new running partner. Okay, so we actually have only done walking lately (we'll cover this in the next point), but still. It's funny how life works out, but I actually live in the same neighborhood as a friend from school, Laura. I have made a commitment to this half marathon and she has made a commitment to getting up early during the week, and even on the weekends to run with me. I will have to admit - it's nice. I am usually unable to carry on a conversation while exercising, but I told her that if she can keep up her end and a lot of mine, we'll be good. So far it's working for us. =) There's something nice about not only feeling like I've told everyone I know, some folks I don't know, and posted all over Facebook that I'm doing this, but knowing that she is counting on me to show up each day. It's that whole accountability thing. If you don't think you need it - well, you're wrong. Oh yeah, we've got this. Plus, it's good to know that our houses are spaced out (6 tenths of a mile one way from my house - and 4 tenths of a mile the other - yeah, y'all know I clocked it) so if during the longer days I feel like I'm about to die from needing water, some one's house is close. Now if we can just recruit her friend that also lives in our neighborhood, we'll have water stops all over the place. Shoot, even if her friend doesn't run, just makes sure to water her grass while we run by, and can run through, she might end up with a special place in my heart. ha!
2. Remember our previous discussion about the appropriate running attire? Remember how important that decision is? Well, I failed - epically - in the shoe department. The last time I bought shoes, I went to this store in town, Running Wild, and had them fit me for shoes. BEST. DECISION. EVER. However, three or four years later, I thought I would do it on my own. I really wanted the Nike+ shoes that you can put the iPod sensor in to track all my statistics. I went to Shoe Station, found the Nike+ shoes, realized they didn't have my size - and they sure didn't have a wide shoe - so I bought a half size larger than normal thinking I could make it work. Let's just say...shoes, like relationships, don't work like that. If it doesn't fit today - it's not going to fit tomorrow. No matter how hard you try, you'll just be left with tears, scars, and a pain in the....well, we'll go with foot. Yeah, foot. However, I'm no quitter, right? Right. So I ended up running/walking 12 miles in those shoes.
Last Thursday night was a turning point for me. I sat on my couch and glared over to the door where the shoes were sitting and I'm telling you - the shoes smirked back. It's then that I realized in the contest to break in the shoes...the shoes were winning. The shoes were breaking me - with no hope of me breaking them. I had a blister on my toe the size of a quarter, a cut on my heal, and three or four other toes that looked like they had been run over with a lawn mower. I made a decision. I went and got the box out of the recycling, packed those bad boys back in them, and put them in the car to take back to Shoe Station. I figured if they took them back - great...if not, oh well - I'd donate them to someone else's cause and drive myself to Running Wild anyway. Well, low and behold, they took them back. I limped out of the store and on to Running Wild.
If you've never been to Running Wild - let me tell you - that place is a runner's dream. Clothes, GU (that's a story in itself), shoes, gadgets...you name it - they have it. If they don't have it, they'll order it. Here's the deal: You go in, tell someone you're looking for shoes, they have you roll up your pants and walk the length of the store, maybe jog a little bit, pull out a foot measure and measure your feet, skip off to the back room and come out with three or four boxes of shoes for you. You sit down, they do all the work. You just have to say which feels the best. The first pair he put on, I really felt like the heavens parted and the angels sang the Hallelujah chorus. I was in love. However, I went ahead and tried several other pairs - only to end up with the first pair. They didn't have a wide in stock, but he ordered it for me and I bought a handy little pouch to hold my iPod sensor...problem solved. Now, you don't really know the price on the shoes when you're trying them on, so I was nervous. Surely shoes that feel as great as these did are about to put a hole in my wallet. I remembered that I would be running over 500 miles between then and the 5k and decided to for once go with comfort over price. He rang them up and I was surprised to learn that they were only $20 more than the other shoes I had returned. Oh, and so incredibly worth it. I have made a pact with myself....just like I will never again Nair my armpits (see a previous blog), color or cut my own hair, or admit to having had a crush on Hoss from Bonanza (y'all, he was a super nice character), I will never again buy running shoes that aren't the right ones for me.
My shoes weren't due to come in until Thursday, so I had to wear my old New Balance until then and decided that walking would be better than running. Yesterday I got the call that they had come in early, went and picked them up, and walked in them this morning. Y'all I'm seriously about to get my run on. Okay, okay...let's be honest....I'm seriously about to get my run/walk on. The point is that whatever I'm about to do...it's on!
3. For those of you wondering what it's like to undertake this, let me say - I am not looking at the big picture now. I am looking at the picture for today. Today I most definitely cannot run 13.1 miles, so I don't think I about that. Today I think my schedule says I have to do 5 minutes more today than yesterday - oh, I can so do that! Guess what? Come November 5th all those extra 5 minutes are going to add up to one great moment where I will accomplish what I would have not previously thought possible. If you are wondering if you can do something - even if it's not a half marathon - get up and do a small something today. Just like the road you are on in life, it's rarely monumental events that brought us where we are, but small, maybe even seemingly inconsequential decisions, that add up to shape us into who we are.
4. My last thought today is this...I weighed yesterday, and I am down over 23 pounds now. That is exciting. I still have a long way to go, but just like the half marathon, I am not looking at this as a major number that needs to be conquered, but a small change today which will bring me where I want to be. That being said, I laughed loudly today when putting on my wonderful running pants. Inside the back of the pants - where the label is printed - is also the name of the maker of the pants, with their slogan "Greatness Within"...I thought "Oh goodness, y'all have noooooo idea the greatness within these things. hahahaha! Oh well, soon the greatness within will be a little less noticeable on the outside, but a whole lot more cemented on the inside of who I am.
Well crud....I had one more thought. I burst through the door yesterday morning, and thought "Hmmmm, I sound familiar. I sound like someone I've seen on tv or a movie before". Then it dawned on me - daggum, if I wasn't doing an amazing impression of Wheezy off Toy Story. The fact that I had my black running pants on, with the white decorative part - which I affectionately call my Shamu pants because they look like something the trainers at Believe in Sea World wear to train the animals - only solidified my resemblance to that wonderful character. hahahahha!!!
This is a beautiful life.
1. I have a new running partner. Okay, so we actually have only done walking lately (we'll cover this in the next point), but still. It's funny how life works out, but I actually live in the same neighborhood as a friend from school, Laura. I have made a commitment to this half marathon and she has made a commitment to getting up early during the week, and even on the weekends to run with me. I will have to admit - it's nice. I am usually unable to carry on a conversation while exercising, but I told her that if she can keep up her end and a lot of mine, we'll be good. So far it's working for us. =) There's something nice about not only feeling like I've told everyone I know, some folks I don't know, and posted all over Facebook that I'm doing this, but knowing that she is counting on me to show up each day. It's that whole accountability thing. If you don't think you need it - well, you're wrong. Oh yeah, we've got this. Plus, it's good to know that our houses are spaced out (6 tenths of a mile one way from my house - and 4 tenths of a mile the other - yeah, y'all know I clocked it) so if during the longer days I feel like I'm about to die from needing water, some one's house is close. Now if we can just recruit her friend that also lives in our neighborhood, we'll have water stops all over the place. Shoot, even if her friend doesn't run, just makes sure to water her grass while we run by, and can run through, she might end up with a special place in my heart. ha!
2. Remember our previous discussion about the appropriate running attire? Remember how important that decision is? Well, I failed - epically - in the shoe department. The last time I bought shoes, I went to this store in town, Running Wild, and had them fit me for shoes. BEST. DECISION. EVER. However, three or four years later, I thought I would do it on my own. I really wanted the Nike+ shoes that you can put the iPod sensor in to track all my statistics. I went to Shoe Station, found the Nike+ shoes, realized they didn't have my size - and they sure didn't have a wide shoe - so I bought a half size larger than normal thinking I could make it work. Let's just say...shoes, like relationships, don't work like that. If it doesn't fit today - it's not going to fit tomorrow. No matter how hard you try, you'll just be left with tears, scars, and a pain in the....well, we'll go with foot. Yeah, foot. However, I'm no quitter, right? Right. So I ended up running/walking 12 miles in those shoes.
Last Thursday night was a turning point for me. I sat on my couch and glared over to the door where the shoes were sitting and I'm telling you - the shoes smirked back. It's then that I realized in the contest to break in the shoes...the shoes were winning. The shoes were breaking me - with no hope of me breaking them. I had a blister on my toe the size of a quarter, a cut on my heal, and three or four other toes that looked like they had been run over with a lawn mower. I made a decision. I went and got the box out of the recycling, packed those bad boys back in them, and put them in the car to take back to Shoe Station. I figured if they took them back - great...if not, oh well - I'd donate them to someone else's cause and drive myself to Running Wild anyway. Well, low and behold, they took them back. I limped out of the store and on to Running Wild.
If you've never been to Running Wild - let me tell you - that place is a runner's dream. Clothes, GU (that's a story in itself), shoes, gadgets...you name it - they have it. If they don't have it, they'll order it. Here's the deal: You go in, tell someone you're looking for shoes, they have you roll up your pants and walk the length of the store, maybe jog a little bit, pull out a foot measure and measure your feet, skip off to the back room and come out with three or four boxes of shoes for you. You sit down, they do all the work. You just have to say which feels the best. The first pair he put on, I really felt like the heavens parted and the angels sang the Hallelujah chorus. I was in love. However, I went ahead and tried several other pairs - only to end up with the first pair. They didn't have a wide in stock, but he ordered it for me and I bought a handy little pouch to hold my iPod sensor...problem solved. Now, you don't really know the price on the shoes when you're trying them on, so I was nervous. Surely shoes that feel as great as these did are about to put a hole in my wallet. I remembered that I would be running over 500 miles between then and the 5k and decided to for once go with comfort over price. He rang them up and I was surprised to learn that they were only $20 more than the other shoes I had returned. Oh, and so incredibly worth it. I have made a pact with myself....just like I will never again Nair my armpits (see a previous blog), color or cut my own hair, or admit to having had a crush on Hoss from Bonanza (y'all, he was a super nice character), I will never again buy running shoes that aren't the right ones for me.
My shoes weren't due to come in until Thursday, so I had to wear my old New Balance until then and decided that walking would be better than running. Yesterday I got the call that they had come in early, went and picked them up, and walked in them this morning. Y'all I'm seriously about to get my run on. Okay, okay...let's be honest....I'm seriously about to get my run/walk on. The point is that whatever I'm about to do...it's on!
3. For those of you wondering what it's like to undertake this, let me say - I am not looking at the big picture now. I am looking at the picture for today. Today I most definitely cannot run 13.1 miles, so I don't think I about that. Today I think my schedule says I have to do 5 minutes more today than yesterday - oh, I can so do that! Guess what? Come November 5th all those extra 5 minutes are going to add up to one great moment where I will accomplish what I would have not previously thought possible. If you are wondering if you can do something - even if it's not a half marathon - get up and do a small something today. Just like the road you are on in life, it's rarely monumental events that brought us where we are, but small, maybe even seemingly inconsequential decisions, that add up to shape us into who we are.
4. My last thought today is this...I weighed yesterday, and I am down over 23 pounds now. That is exciting. I still have a long way to go, but just like the half marathon, I am not looking at this as a major number that needs to be conquered, but a small change today which will bring me where I want to be. That being said, I laughed loudly today when putting on my wonderful running pants. Inside the back of the pants - where the label is printed - is also the name of the maker of the pants, with their slogan "Greatness Within"...I thought "Oh goodness, y'all have noooooo idea the greatness within these things. hahahaha! Oh well, soon the greatness within will be a little less noticeable on the outside, but a whole lot more cemented on the inside of who I am.
Well crud....I had one more thought. I burst through the door yesterday morning, and thought "Hmmmm, I sound familiar. I sound like someone I've seen on tv or a movie before". Then it dawned on me - daggum, if I wasn't doing an amazing impression of Wheezy off Toy Story. The fact that I had my black running pants on, with the white decorative part - which I affectionately call my Shamu pants because they look like something the trainers at Believe in Sea World wear to train the animals - only solidified my resemblance to that wonderful character. hahahahha!!!
This is a beautiful life.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
We're About To Cross That Line...
Too much information, TMI, excessive sharing, crossing the line - however you want to say it, this entry is probably going to go there. I considered not sharing, but being as I have decided to try to blog all aspects of this half marathon thing, I figured I'd go ahead. Plus, if you are considering doing something active, but are unsure you can, I would like for you to read these entries and know that if I can - you can, too.
In general there are three body types for women:
1. The ones who carry their weight in their top
2. The ones who carry their weight from the hips down
3. The ones who carry their weight pretty evenly
Truth is, I only know one or two people who naturally (yes, that means minus implants) fall into the #3 category. Whether we are tall, short, thin, or not so thin, we all know which body type we are. Well, and if you know me - it is very obvious which one I fall into. As a matter of fact, I told someone not too long ago that when I run I sometimes wish they made a sports bra for my behind. Yes, I did say that....more than once.
Tonight I met a friend for a movie and since it was an early movie, I thought I'd drive to TJ Maxx after and look at some new running clothes. Even a novice runner knows that probably the two biggest factors in how well you do with your running are your shoes, and your clothing choice. After all, who wants to be pulling their shirt down, or for that matter, adjusting their shorts when all you really want to be thinking about is whether one more mile will actually kill you or not.
I stood there in TJ Maxx, sorting through all kinds of bright colored exercise clothes, and tried to decide on what I would try on. Here's my main problem. I really like those sports bra shirt things (yeah, I don't know the technical term), but if I get one small enough to work up top, the bottom part of the shirt rides up over my hips - and when I say "rides", I really mean "rolls", to where - if I'm not careful - I could end up looking like I'm running down the road in a sports bra with extra material rolled up under my boobs. Nice visual, huh? If I get one that fits over my hips, well - let's just say there is no way that will work to do the job up top. So, while I know these are not life changing decisions, it seemed to be taking FOREVER to find what I was looking for. I found a couple that looked like they might do the trick and went to look at pants.
Now, here's the thing - in my opinion there are only two types of workout pants for me. Either the kind I am always trying to adjust because the material is bunching up in places that don't need bunching or those that are tight, but at least they stay in place. As for shorts...yeah, that's not happening. Even knee length shorts have a tendency to end up looking like those short running shorts on me before I'm a quarter of a mile down the road. I carefully studied the tags and went for the fabrics that say they wick away the sweat, and offer UV protection, looked around to see who was watching, grabbed a couple of pairs of pants, added it to my tops and went off in search of the changing room.
I thought I would start with the top. I get it on, and low and behold I think it's going to do the trick. I reach for the pants and brace myself. I start to tug them on and realize that what we really have here are Spanx that are being marketed as running pants. If you are uncertain what Spanx are, well, you're probably a man. However, let me take this opportunity to fill you in. Spanx are a tight body shaper pair of pants that are supposed to help make your clothes look better. They are designed to hold everything you have in place. They are not supposed to be worn to run down the road. Alas, I start thinking...
"Kim" - I say to myself - "What is more important? Looking good or being comfortable when you run? Do you really care if you look like you encased yourself in sausage casing, threw on a tank top, and decided to run down the road? Do you really care if your neighbors either laugh while peeking out the window or decide to hold an emergency HOA meeting to address this issue?"
For a moment, I heard my inner vain voice speak up and say "Um, yes. Yes, I do. I do care that the neighbors are going to think I put on the bottom half of a wet suit and decided to go for a jog". Then I heard the other voice say "Nice. You decide to get vain now? You couldn't have done that all those times you pulled up to the Wendy's drive-thru window and order the #1, add cheese, with a diet Coke - because you hate to drink your calories? That would have been the time to speak up".
So, I squelched vain inner Kim, and went with practical, comfortable Kim. I also reminded myself that the plan is to run before most people are awake. Of course, now I have to know: Will the shirt actually stay down while running? Well, there's only one way to find that out. I look down and realize that the changing room walls do not extend all the way to the ground, and I am in a crowded dressing room, wearing my favorite brown Yellow Box flip flops, running pants, and a tank top sports bra shirt. Oh well. I decide to jog in place. Jogging went well. So, I decided to high step jog in place. That went well, too. After all my jogging in place, I make a decision. I'm buying the pants, lime green top, a tank top that is also supposed to wick away sweat, and going back for one more top....after the dressing rooms on each side of me clear out. I didn't want to have someone unexpectedly take my picture with their phone and put it on FB as the strange woman who was jogging in place at TJ Maxx. =)
I am home now, wearing - yep, you guessed it - my new running clothes. I took a couple of jogs around the living room and am still pleased with my purchases. I realized that I pretty much did get a sports bra for my behind. I haven't had thighs this firm feeling in well.....probably never. ha! Of course, I also thought "What happens if I have some kind of medical emergency and my pants need to be removed?" Followed quickly with "Um, what the heck kind of medical emergency would require my pants being removed?" Good point...good point. Needless to say, I certainly hope that never happens, but if it does - I pray the paramedic has a sharp pair of scissors, and a very steady hand.
In general there are three body types for women:
1. The ones who carry their weight in their top
2. The ones who carry their weight from the hips down
3. The ones who carry their weight pretty evenly
Truth is, I only know one or two people who naturally (yes, that means minus implants) fall into the #3 category. Whether we are tall, short, thin, or not so thin, we all know which body type we are. Well, and if you know me - it is very obvious which one I fall into. As a matter of fact, I told someone not too long ago that when I run I sometimes wish they made a sports bra for my behind. Yes, I did say that....more than once.
Tonight I met a friend for a movie and since it was an early movie, I thought I'd drive to TJ Maxx after and look at some new running clothes. Even a novice runner knows that probably the two biggest factors in how well you do with your running are your shoes, and your clothing choice. After all, who wants to be pulling their shirt down, or for that matter, adjusting their shorts when all you really want to be thinking about is whether one more mile will actually kill you or not.
I stood there in TJ Maxx, sorting through all kinds of bright colored exercise clothes, and tried to decide on what I would try on. Here's my main problem. I really like those sports bra shirt things (yeah, I don't know the technical term), but if I get one small enough to work up top, the bottom part of the shirt rides up over my hips - and when I say "rides", I really mean "rolls", to where - if I'm not careful - I could end up looking like I'm running down the road in a sports bra with extra material rolled up under my boobs. Nice visual, huh? If I get one that fits over my hips, well - let's just say there is no way that will work to do the job up top. So, while I know these are not life changing decisions, it seemed to be taking FOREVER to find what I was looking for. I found a couple that looked like they might do the trick and went to look at pants.
Now, here's the thing - in my opinion there are only two types of workout pants for me. Either the kind I am always trying to adjust because the material is bunching up in places that don't need bunching or those that are tight, but at least they stay in place. As for shorts...yeah, that's not happening. Even knee length shorts have a tendency to end up looking like those short running shorts on me before I'm a quarter of a mile down the road. I carefully studied the tags and went for the fabrics that say they wick away the sweat, and offer UV protection, looked around to see who was watching, grabbed a couple of pairs of pants, added it to my tops and went off in search of the changing room.
I thought I would start with the top. I get it on, and low and behold I think it's going to do the trick. I reach for the pants and brace myself. I start to tug them on and realize that what we really have here are Spanx that are being marketed as running pants. If you are uncertain what Spanx are, well, you're probably a man. However, let me take this opportunity to fill you in. Spanx are a tight body shaper pair of pants that are supposed to help make your clothes look better. They are designed to hold everything you have in place. They are not supposed to be worn to run down the road. Alas, I start thinking...
"Kim" - I say to myself - "What is more important? Looking good or being comfortable when you run? Do you really care if you look like you encased yourself in sausage casing, threw on a tank top, and decided to run down the road? Do you really care if your neighbors either laugh while peeking out the window or decide to hold an emergency HOA meeting to address this issue?"
For a moment, I heard my inner vain voice speak up and say "Um, yes. Yes, I do. I do care that the neighbors are going to think I put on the bottom half of a wet suit and decided to go for a jog". Then I heard the other voice say "Nice. You decide to get vain now? You couldn't have done that all those times you pulled up to the Wendy's drive-thru window and order the #1, add cheese, with a diet Coke - because you hate to drink your calories? That would have been the time to speak up".
So, I squelched vain inner Kim, and went with practical, comfortable Kim. I also reminded myself that the plan is to run before most people are awake. Of course, now I have to know: Will the shirt actually stay down while running? Well, there's only one way to find that out. I look down and realize that the changing room walls do not extend all the way to the ground, and I am in a crowded dressing room, wearing my favorite brown Yellow Box flip flops, running pants, and a tank top sports bra shirt. Oh well. I decide to jog in place. Jogging went well. So, I decided to high step jog in place. That went well, too. After all my jogging in place, I make a decision. I'm buying the pants, lime green top, a tank top that is also supposed to wick away sweat, and going back for one more top....after the dressing rooms on each side of me clear out. I didn't want to have someone unexpectedly take my picture with their phone and put it on FB as the strange woman who was jogging in place at TJ Maxx. =)
I am home now, wearing - yep, you guessed it - my new running clothes. I took a couple of jogs around the living room and am still pleased with my purchases. I realized that I pretty much did get a sports bra for my behind. I haven't had thighs this firm feeling in well.....probably never. ha! Of course, I also thought "What happens if I have some kind of medical emergency and my pants need to be removed?" Followed quickly with "Um, what the heck kind of medical emergency would require my pants being removed?" Good point...good point. Needless to say, I certainly hope that never happens, but if it does - I pray the paramedic has a sharp pair of scissors, and a very steady hand.
Kick Off Week...
Disclaimer - If you're not wanting to read about sports bras, running pants that ride up, blisters on feet, dry heaving in public, etc...you probably don't want to follow my half marathon journey. =) Sure, all of those things haven't happend quite yet, but I'm just warning you before we get too far along.
Almost a week has passed since I made the committment to run a half marathon. During that time, a few things have happened. First, I have told pretty much everyone I know - and even some people I don't know - because nothing helps you stick to a program quite like having a ton of people know you're supposed to on it and asking how it is going. Second, I bought a book about marathon training, and found a plan to get me from where I am today, to where I will be in November. Third, after much thought, I decided to go ahead and transition from HMR to Weight Watchers.
This week has gone pretty well. I started out slow - only ran/walked 4 days. I bought new shoes, the Nike+ system, and remembered how much I do actually like running/walking outside.
Here is my schedule for next week. Each new week starts on Sunday, and since the plan is for 20 weeks, for the first few weeks I will just repeat the week before. Because last week was kind of my easing into it week, tomorrow will be the first day that I am on the real plan.
Sunday, May 15 - Run/Walk 35 Mins
Monday, May 16 - Rest
Tuesday, May 17 - Run/Walk 35 Mins
Wednesday, May 18 - Run/Walk 40 Mins
Thursday, May 19 - Cross Train or Walk 45 Mins
Friday, May 20 - Rest
Saturday, May 21 - Run/Walk 45 Mins
As you can see, at the early stages this is really not any more than what I'm already doing. Two days of rest, five days of interval running/walking. With this program, I won't transition from minutes running/walking a day, to miles until sometime this Summer.
Another thing happened this week...my neighbors got to see me in a whole new way. A way that included breathing hard, sweating it out, almost cursing out loud, and talking to myself. Yeah, I'm pretty sure some of them are concerned about my mental stability and that concern is guaranteed to increase over the next six months.
You know what? Just like it felt great to make a committment to a healthier me by dropping some weight, it feels wonderful to have made this goal. I will see both become a reality - this year - and that is an amazing feeling.
It will be hard some days. I will be grumpy some days. I will want to cry and give up some days. I will wonder if I lost my mind some days....BUT.....
I will NOT give up. I WILL keep running. I CAN do this. I AM strong enough.
And yes, I'm smart enough and gosh darnit people really do like me!!! ha!
Almost a week has passed since I made the committment to run a half marathon. During that time, a few things have happened. First, I have told pretty much everyone I know - and even some people I don't know - because nothing helps you stick to a program quite like having a ton of people know you're supposed to on it and asking how it is going. Second, I bought a book about marathon training, and found a plan to get me from where I am today, to where I will be in November. Third, after much thought, I decided to go ahead and transition from HMR to Weight Watchers.
This week has gone pretty well. I started out slow - only ran/walked 4 days. I bought new shoes, the Nike+ system, and remembered how much I do actually like running/walking outside.
Here is my schedule for next week. Each new week starts on Sunday, and since the plan is for 20 weeks, for the first few weeks I will just repeat the week before. Because last week was kind of my easing into it week, tomorrow will be the first day that I am on the real plan.
Sunday, May 15 - Run/Walk 35 Mins
Monday, May 16 - Rest
Tuesday, May 17 - Run/Walk 35 Mins
Wednesday, May 18 - Run/Walk 40 Mins
Thursday, May 19 - Cross Train or Walk 45 Mins
Friday, May 20 - Rest
Saturday, May 21 - Run/Walk 45 Mins
As you can see, at the early stages this is really not any more than what I'm already doing. Two days of rest, five days of interval running/walking. With this program, I won't transition from minutes running/walking a day, to miles until sometime this Summer.
Another thing happened this week...my neighbors got to see me in a whole new way. A way that included breathing hard, sweating it out, almost cursing out loud, and talking to myself. Yeah, I'm pretty sure some of them are concerned about my mental stability and that concern is guaranteed to increase over the next six months.
You know what? Just like it felt great to make a committment to a healthier me by dropping some weight, it feels wonderful to have made this goal. I will see both become a reality - this year - and that is an amazing feeling.
It will be hard some days. I will be grumpy some days. I will want to cry and give up some days. I will wonder if I lost my mind some days....BUT.....
I will NOT give up. I WILL keep running. I CAN do this. I AM strong enough.
And yes, I'm smart enough and gosh darnit people really do like me!!! ha!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
I Press Towards the Mark...
This morning started out simple enough. Yes, it is Mother's Day, but yesterday was Johnny's day with JD, so I knew I had some time this morning before JD got here. I got up, checked the food level in Cheese and Crackers' dish, poured a drink, and sat down to check in on what was happening with everyone on Facebook. I read all the status updates about mothers, even a couple about my mother. As it is, today is also the 11th anniversary of the day my mother passed away. I was determined to count all my blessings.
A short while after logging in, a post showed up on my wall. A post that would change my day.
It was a harmless enough looking post. It was put on there from a friend who is determined to raise money for cancer research. You see, her husband has been diagnosed with cancer and she decided to run a half marathon in November to honor him and raise money. No problem. I almost immediately chimed in with the response that she would get my financial support. You see - her husband has a special place in my heart. I won't go into the details, as his story is not mine to tell, but suffice to say that I have no problem admitting my love for both of them.
Just a short time after responding with my financial support, I found myself hitting send on a rather shocking post to her wall. I found myself telling her that I would train with her. I would train and run the half marathon in November. WHAT? No, seriously....WHAT? Do y'all know how unathletic I am? Y'all do realize I was the drum major in the band in high school - that does not equal athlete. Yes, I've done some 5ks, and yes, I get on my treadmill, but this is a different level. This is a committment to run for over 2 hours.
Actually, it is more than that. It is a committment to dedicate myself to an incredible journey. It is a committment to stand (or maybe fall out) at the finish line one day in November, and hug them, and know that without a doubt, I am supporting them in a way that is beyond my comfort zone. It is beyond something I could have even imagined saying I would do yesterday....or even 5 minutes before I spoke up and volunteered to do it. It is me - going beyond what I am currently physically capable of - pushing myself towards the mark.
It is for my friend, as we believe in a cure. It is for my friend, Nan, who four years ago this month lost her 3rd and final battle with cancer. It's for all the people who crossed my path when I worked in radiation oncology. It is for the dads, sons, mothers, and daughters who have lost their fight - the ones that are still fighting and standing strong - and the ones of us, who while we have never heard that diagnoses for ourselves, we are angry at having to hear that for even one more person. We do not accept that cancer will take another person we love.
So, tonight, I went to Barnes and Noble and picked up the book "The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide For Women", and tomorrow I will start putting one foot in front of the other. I will not think about completing 13.1 miles. I will think about completing the next step. I will think of my friend and his amazing wife. And one day in November, I will show up a stronger person.
I will press towards the goal. Oh, and I'm sure I'll blog about it along the way. Are y'all ready? Break out those running shoes...it's time to get my run on.
A short while after logging in, a post showed up on my wall. A post that would change my day.
It was a harmless enough looking post. It was put on there from a friend who is determined to raise money for cancer research. You see, her husband has been diagnosed with cancer and she decided to run a half marathon in November to honor him and raise money. No problem. I almost immediately chimed in with the response that she would get my financial support. You see - her husband has a special place in my heart. I won't go into the details, as his story is not mine to tell, but suffice to say that I have no problem admitting my love for both of them.
Just a short time after responding with my financial support, I found myself hitting send on a rather shocking post to her wall. I found myself telling her that I would train with her. I would train and run the half marathon in November. WHAT? No, seriously....WHAT? Do y'all know how unathletic I am? Y'all do realize I was the drum major in the band in high school - that does not equal athlete. Yes, I've done some 5ks, and yes, I get on my treadmill, but this is a different level. This is a committment to run for over 2 hours.
Actually, it is more than that. It is a committment to dedicate myself to an incredible journey. It is a committment to stand (or maybe fall out) at the finish line one day in November, and hug them, and know that without a doubt, I am supporting them in a way that is beyond my comfort zone. It is beyond something I could have even imagined saying I would do yesterday....or even 5 minutes before I spoke up and volunteered to do it. It is me - going beyond what I am currently physically capable of - pushing myself towards the mark.
It is for my friend, as we believe in a cure. It is for my friend, Nan, who four years ago this month lost her 3rd and final battle with cancer. It's for all the people who crossed my path when I worked in radiation oncology. It is for the dads, sons, mothers, and daughters who have lost their fight - the ones that are still fighting and standing strong - and the ones of us, who while we have never heard that diagnoses for ourselves, we are angry at having to hear that for even one more person. We do not accept that cancer will take another person we love.
So, tonight, I went to Barnes and Noble and picked up the book "The Nonrunner's Marathon Guide For Women", and tomorrow I will start putting one foot in front of the other. I will not think about completing 13.1 miles. I will think about completing the next step. I will think of my friend and his amazing wife. And one day in November, I will show up a stronger person.
I will press towards the goal. Oh, and I'm sure I'll blog about it along the way. Are y'all ready? Break out those running shoes...it's time to get my run on.
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