Today was my first official Wednesday Weigh-In of 2012. I weigh and write it down everyday. Yes, I know they say that you should only weigh once a week, but it helps keep me in check to weigh. I don't get discouraged or encouraged, just like to see where I am. However, Wednesday is my official day - the one that counts. So, this morning, I bravely stepped up on the scale. It was what I thought it would be. I'm looking forward to each week - and what the results will be from here on out. =)
Another step I took today was to do something pretty radical for me. I talked to four friends and decided to tell them exactly what I weigh, and I will report to them each Wednesday what my new weight is. I will also email one of them what I've eaten during the day for extra accountability. You see, when JD is with his dad, and it is just me, it is easy to just pick something up on the way home or sit around and eat something convenient. I mean, after all, it's just me - who is going to know, right? Well, not any more, because they are going to know. In my note to my friends I told them that this is the year I lose the weight, because I am worth more than the struggle to lose weight...more than this making resolutions and going back on them. I am just worth more.
Today has been a pretty good day, as far as hunger and motivation go. Yesterday was a little rough, so it is nice that today was better. I know that there will be easier days and then some pretty tough days, too, but this time I feel different about the decision to be healthier. I feel like I did when I made the commitment to run the half marathon - like my mind is made up - now, I will just continue to follow through.
This is a beautiful life!
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Refocusing my Priorities...
Part of honoring my temple in 2012 is about me being able to refocus my priorities. It is about me focusing on doing some things for myself and my health in order to accomplish what I really desire to accomplish. Today, I had a situation where I was once again reminded what I do and what I don't want out of life...what I'm not willing to settle for.
So - this is me - reaffirming that God knows the true desires of my heart, and I believe that He has a plan, greater than I can imagine.
So - this is me - reaffirming that God knows the true desires of my heart, and I believe that He has a plan, greater than I can imagine.
Monday, January 2, 2012
The Hard Truth
The hard truth of the journey to honor my temple in 2012 is that the weight loss part is definitely going to be the hardest. There is something that wells up in me when I think about having to deny myself. There I said it. It is almost like a rebellious attitude that says "I can do what I want - I'm a grown woman". The fact that I feel super lame even typing that shows me how lame that idea is. Why would I want something that is detrimental to my success? Why would I want to continue the same way I have been? Why?
Today, I had to be honest with myself.
The hard truth is that I have done things in the past to sabotage my success in this area. I've exercised hard - only to go get Whataburger or pizza - only to feel that sense of failure after eating. Yet, I continued to find myself repeating that cycle. Watch what I eat....exercise....fall off the wagon.
When I was growing up, there were times that as punishment, we would have to run. Until doing the half marathon last year, I would have told you that I absolutely hated running - or exercise in general. Each time I went out to run, this feeling would hit me and I would absolutely HATE having to exercise. I would just want to quit.
Well - this is the year. This is the year that I will tell myself the hard truths. I will admit why I make the decisions to sabotage myself and I will stop allowing myself to undermine my success. Honestly, I imagine that I will be praying myself through this, too. I will pray for God to help me because I am not strong enough on my own. If I were, I would have already conquered this. I will start being honest with myself about what I'm eating and how much exercise I'm doing.
So - here it goes. I will decide each day to make the best decisions for my health. I will quit hiding from relationships by sabotaging my weight (yeah, I do that - and that stops today). This is for me. This is my year. I will stop choosing unhealthy choices above myself.
Today, I had to be honest with myself.
The hard truth is that I have done things in the past to sabotage my success in this area. I've exercised hard - only to go get Whataburger or pizza - only to feel that sense of failure after eating. Yet, I continued to find myself repeating that cycle. Watch what I eat....exercise....fall off the wagon.
When I was growing up, there were times that as punishment, we would have to run. Until doing the half marathon last year, I would have told you that I absolutely hated running - or exercise in general. Each time I went out to run, this feeling would hit me and I would absolutely HATE having to exercise. I would just want to quit.
Well - this is the year. This is the year that I will tell myself the hard truths. I will admit why I make the decisions to sabotage myself and I will stop allowing myself to undermine my success. Honestly, I imagine that I will be praying myself through this, too. I will pray for God to help me because I am not strong enough on my own. If I were, I would have already conquered this. I will start being honest with myself about what I'm eating and how much exercise I'm doing.
So - here it goes. I will decide each day to make the best decisions for my health. I will quit hiding from relationships by sabotaging my weight (yeah, I do that - and that stops today). This is for me. This is my year. I will stop choosing unhealthy choices above myself.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
365 Days...12 Months....Err...Maybe, One Day At a Time or Even 10 Minutes
1/1/2012 - January 1, 2012 - 1 Jan 2012
Any way you choose to write it - it is the first day of the new year. If I have a bunch of typos or seem like I'm having random thoughts, do not be alarmed, I have just been suffering from a nice migraine all day long. They say that what you do on the first day of the year, you'll be doing the rest of the year. Well, going to church and hanging out with my kid; I hope so. Lying on the couch, trying to pretend that my eye doesn't feel like it's going to explode; I hope not.
I would like to say that I'm going to blog everyday about my journey to honor my temple in 2012, but let's face it - I'm not. So, what I will say, is that I will blog along the way so that I can remember this journey - the ups and downs - the things I will learn along the way. I learned during the half marathon training that having a goal for each day got me to where I want to be, so that is what I'm doing with this. I will have a goal each day...written down in advance so I don't have to make something up on the spur of the moment.
Over Thanksgiving, my sister mentioned that she had purchased the 10-Minute Trainer dvds. For those of you unfamiliar with this set of workout dvds, they are a set of dvds broken up into 10 minute increments, by Tony Horton. You know, Tony Horton, the creator of P90X. Now, I tried P90X before and let me just say, you will definitely see results, but I was not nearly coordinated or in good enough shape to stick with an hour long dvd - six days a week. Okay, maybe those were excuses, too, but it was still very difficult. However, over the last year or so, I've been interested in the 10-Minute Trainer version. So, when I heard my sister talking about how she had it, I figured that would be a great way to give it a shot. I called her this morning and asked if I could borrow it and guess what....she hadn't even opened it, yet. Now, I'm armed with the dvds and a schedule. I plan on incorporating it into my work out plan for the next month to see if I like the plan.
Here's the schedule:
Monday - 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Tuesday - 30 minutes treadmill + 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Wednesday - 30 minutes treadmill + 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Thursday - 30 minutes treadmill + 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Friday - 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Saturday - 30 minutes treadmill + 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Sunday - 30 minutes treadmill + 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
I would normally have Monday and Friday as rest days, but the program calls for 30 minutes of exercise each day of the week, so I'm going to commit to it. We'll see how it goes. =)
Okay, that's all for now. I'm going to go jump in the shower, and see if that helps my head. Goodness, I sure hope so.
This is a beautiful life.
Any way you choose to write it - it is the first day of the new year. If I have a bunch of typos or seem like I'm having random thoughts, do not be alarmed, I have just been suffering from a nice migraine all day long. They say that what you do on the first day of the year, you'll be doing the rest of the year. Well, going to church and hanging out with my kid; I hope so. Lying on the couch, trying to pretend that my eye doesn't feel like it's going to explode; I hope not.
I would like to say that I'm going to blog everyday about my journey to honor my temple in 2012, but let's face it - I'm not. So, what I will say, is that I will blog along the way so that I can remember this journey - the ups and downs - the things I will learn along the way. I learned during the half marathon training that having a goal for each day got me to where I want to be, so that is what I'm doing with this. I will have a goal each day...written down in advance so I don't have to make something up on the spur of the moment.
Over Thanksgiving, my sister mentioned that she had purchased the 10-Minute Trainer dvds. For those of you unfamiliar with this set of workout dvds, they are a set of dvds broken up into 10 minute increments, by Tony Horton. You know, Tony Horton, the creator of P90X. Now, I tried P90X before and let me just say, you will definitely see results, but I was not nearly coordinated or in good enough shape to stick with an hour long dvd - six days a week. Okay, maybe those were excuses, too, but it was still very difficult. However, over the last year or so, I've been interested in the 10-Minute Trainer version. So, when I heard my sister talking about how she had it, I figured that would be a great way to give it a shot. I called her this morning and asked if I could borrow it and guess what....she hadn't even opened it, yet. Now, I'm armed with the dvds and a schedule. I plan on incorporating it into my work out plan for the next month to see if I like the plan.
Here's the schedule:
Monday - 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Tuesday - 30 minutes treadmill + 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Wednesday - 30 minutes treadmill + 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Thursday - 30 minutes treadmill + 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Friday - 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Saturday - 30 minutes treadmill + 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
Sunday - 30 minutes treadmill + 10-Minute Trainer DVD (3 workouts)
I would normally have Monday and Friday as rest days, but the program calls for 30 minutes of exercise each day of the week, so I'm going to commit to it. We'll see how it goes. =)
Okay, that's all for now. I'm going to go jump in the shower, and see if that helps my head. Goodness, I sure hope so.
This is a beautiful life.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Taking Care of my Temple in 2012
So, it's New Year's Eve Eve and I'm ahead of myself here. I mean, normally, I'm at least a day or two into the new year before I sit down and type out what my goals are for the year. I'm good at procrastinating. I've almost got it down to an art form. I think I remember a quote - which I'm about to completely jack up - that says something like "When I wait until the last minute to do something, it's amazing what I can do in that minute".
The last little while - since the Friday after Thanksgiving - I can actually remember the moment - I've been thinking about my "temple", aka, my body. I decided to look up the actual definition of the word "temple" and here are the ones I like the best:
1. Something regarded as having a divine presence dwelling within it
2. A building reserved for a highly valued function
Yep, I think those pretty much describe me. Conceited? Maybe. However, there is even a scripture in the Bible which talks about how our body is a temple - 1 Corinthians 6:19.
Well, let's take a moment to be real honest here, if my body is my temple - Sweet Lord, I've done an amazing job at making excuses for neglecting it. For once, I'm not just talking about diet and exercise - I'm talking about in all kinds of ways. I cancelled my dentist appointment five times this past year. I wouldn't dream of missing my yearly exam, but cancelling on the dentist has happened more times than I care to admit. I am not in a good routine with my skin care. So far, I've been blessed with nice skin, but I need to start taking care of what I've been given. Oh goodness, do we even need to talk about my sleeping patterns? Or should I say - my lack of sleeping patterns? That's probably more like it.
Soooooo, that being said. 2012 is the year I am going to focus on my temple. I am actually going to set weight loss and size goals - and I am going to meet them. After all, I ran a flipping half marathon in 2011. I can set some goals for myself for goodness sakes. I asked myself this a little while ago, but the question is "Why was it easier for me to set and achieve the goal of a half marathon than it is for me to put down on paper that I am going to drop 5 pounds?". You know why that was? Well, I figured out two reasons - 1. I was doing that for my friend. 2. I made an Excel spreadsheet with mini goals on it and I achieved those goals. Well, come on Excel spreadsheet. I made myself a spreadsheet with weight loss goals on it.
Weight Loss Goal #1 - Down 25 pounds by my birthday (April 18th). I'm already down about 4 of those pounds.
Weight Loss Goal #2 - Down 25 more pounds by the end of the year. Total of 50 pounds for the year - or 42 pounds left - which is less than a pound a week.
Now, before y'all get all "You should focus on how your clothes feel", let me just say - I can make my jeans feel baggier the more I wear them without drying them. Just throwing that out there. ha ha! I do not need to give myself that excuse as to why the scale isn't going down. I need to see results in both areas - and I will accomplish that in a healthy way.
Skin Care Goal #1 - I will make sure to wash, moisturize, and revitalize my face and take care of what I have been given.
I will stick to a skin care routine. As a matter of fact, I went and dropped money on some (supposedly) good products yesterday and have washed and moisturized my face twice since then. Why do I not have a good skin care routine already? I have no clue, but those days are behind me.
Exercise Goal #1 - I will put my exercise spreadsheet back on the fridge, and stay on it.
This year, I am focusing less on a distance goal, and more on the consistency goal. Five days a week, two rest days. Will I miss a day here and there? Yeah, probably, but the point is to keep at it. To beat the treadmill more days than it beats me. To own where I am today and have a plan for where I want to be.
Sleep (Relaxation) Goal #1 - Okay, so this one is just to get more sleep.
Sleep (Relaxation) Goal #2 - I will gift myself with at least two massages next year.
I'm not very sure how I can accomplish the sleeping goal, but I can tell you how I am going to start. I am going to buy myself a new bed. When I went to Disney and slept better on a hotel bed than my own, I realized, yeah, it's time to get on with the new bed. I want a king sized bed (yes, I know it's just me, but I won't justify buying another one for a long time, so king sized it is), and I will invest in good linens. I love my sheets now and will look for some just like them. I'm thinking new pillows are on the horizon, too. If y'all have any suggestions on good beds, please feel free to pass them on. JD has a super comfy bed, so I might be looking for one like that. I'm also going to get consistent about a bedtime routine. Which means, a regular bed time and no staying up late reading or watching crap on TV in bed.
Dentist Goal #1 - I will make and KEEP both my dentist appointments this year. Honestly, it's a bit ridiculous that I cancel. I'm going to try a new dentist and hopefully will love him.
Last, but not least:
Vanity Goals - That's right - I said "vanity" goals. ha ha! Although, these goals are not super important, like it or not, how we look is important. For me, at least, when I leave the house looking bad, it kind of sets the tone. No, I am not afraid to go out without my make-up - that is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about looking on the outside the way I feel about myself on the inside - put together and confident. Now, will y'all see me in WalMart wearing yoga pants, my Smith & Wesson sweatshirt, with my hair in a pony tail, and flip flops on my feet. Yeah, I'm sure you will. However, I will make an effort to get my hair done more than twice next year (at least 3-4 times), wear clothes that flatter me on a regular basis, pluck or wax my brows, and generally put more of an effort into my appearance.
I fully believe that these goals are not just important for me, but for JD as well. After all, he learns how to take care of himself the way his family takes care of themselves. Each time I make the decision to pick up pizza for dinner because I'm "too tired" to make a healthy choice, that is a decision that impacts him, too. Each time I choose to sit on the couch instead of exercising, that teaches him that exercise is not important. Every time I neglect my health - for whatever excuses I can come up with - I am passing those things onto my child. As parents, we aren't just tasked with teaching our children to read, write, be good citizens, etc, but we are also tasked with teaching our children how to be healthy. Like JD's dad said not too long ago - like it or not, JD has parents who will always have to watch what they eat, and how they exercise. However, by passing along healthy habits to my child, I am hoping that he never has to be on a "diet", but that healthy living will be a lifestyle for him.
So, there you go. Those are some pretty specific goals for 2012. It's time to live with intention.
This is a beautiful life.
The last little while - since the Friday after Thanksgiving - I can actually remember the moment - I've been thinking about my "temple", aka, my body. I decided to look up the actual definition of the word "temple" and here are the ones I like the best:
1. Something regarded as having a divine presence dwelling within it
2. A building reserved for a highly valued function
Yep, I think those pretty much describe me. Conceited? Maybe. However, there is even a scripture in the Bible which talks about how our body is a temple - 1 Corinthians 6:19.
Well, let's take a moment to be real honest here, if my body is my temple - Sweet Lord, I've done an amazing job at making excuses for neglecting it. For once, I'm not just talking about diet and exercise - I'm talking about in all kinds of ways. I cancelled my dentist appointment five times this past year. I wouldn't dream of missing my yearly exam, but cancelling on the dentist has happened more times than I care to admit. I am not in a good routine with my skin care. So far, I've been blessed with nice skin, but I need to start taking care of what I've been given. Oh goodness, do we even need to talk about my sleeping patterns? Or should I say - my lack of sleeping patterns? That's probably more like it.
Soooooo, that being said. 2012 is the year I am going to focus on my temple. I am actually going to set weight loss and size goals - and I am going to meet them. After all, I ran a flipping half marathon in 2011. I can set some goals for myself for goodness sakes. I asked myself this a little while ago, but the question is "Why was it easier for me to set and achieve the goal of a half marathon than it is for me to put down on paper that I am going to drop 5 pounds?". You know why that was? Well, I figured out two reasons - 1. I was doing that for my friend. 2. I made an Excel spreadsheet with mini goals on it and I achieved those goals. Well, come on Excel spreadsheet. I made myself a spreadsheet with weight loss goals on it.
Weight Loss Goal #1 - Down 25 pounds by my birthday (April 18th). I'm already down about 4 of those pounds.
Weight Loss Goal #2 - Down 25 more pounds by the end of the year. Total of 50 pounds for the year - or 42 pounds left - which is less than a pound a week.
Now, before y'all get all "You should focus on how your clothes feel", let me just say - I can make my jeans feel baggier the more I wear them without drying them. Just throwing that out there. ha ha! I do not need to give myself that excuse as to why the scale isn't going down. I need to see results in both areas - and I will accomplish that in a healthy way.
Skin Care Goal #1 - I will make sure to wash, moisturize, and revitalize my face and take care of what I have been given.
I will stick to a skin care routine. As a matter of fact, I went and dropped money on some (supposedly) good products yesterday and have washed and moisturized my face twice since then. Why do I not have a good skin care routine already? I have no clue, but those days are behind me.
Exercise Goal #1 - I will put my exercise spreadsheet back on the fridge, and stay on it.
This year, I am focusing less on a distance goal, and more on the consistency goal. Five days a week, two rest days. Will I miss a day here and there? Yeah, probably, but the point is to keep at it. To beat the treadmill more days than it beats me. To own where I am today and have a plan for where I want to be.
Sleep (Relaxation) Goal #1 - Okay, so this one is just to get more sleep.
Sleep (Relaxation) Goal #2 - I will gift myself with at least two massages next year.
I'm not very sure how I can accomplish the sleeping goal, but I can tell you how I am going to start. I am going to buy myself a new bed. When I went to Disney and slept better on a hotel bed than my own, I realized, yeah, it's time to get on with the new bed. I want a king sized bed (yes, I know it's just me, but I won't justify buying another one for a long time, so king sized it is), and I will invest in good linens. I love my sheets now and will look for some just like them. I'm thinking new pillows are on the horizon, too. If y'all have any suggestions on good beds, please feel free to pass them on. JD has a super comfy bed, so I might be looking for one like that. I'm also going to get consistent about a bedtime routine. Which means, a regular bed time and no staying up late reading or watching crap on TV in bed.
Dentist Goal #1 - I will make and KEEP both my dentist appointments this year. Honestly, it's a bit ridiculous that I cancel. I'm going to try a new dentist and hopefully will love him.
Last, but not least:
Vanity Goals - That's right - I said "vanity" goals. ha ha! Although, these goals are not super important, like it or not, how we look is important. For me, at least, when I leave the house looking bad, it kind of sets the tone. No, I am not afraid to go out without my make-up - that is not what I'm talking about. I'm talking about looking on the outside the way I feel about myself on the inside - put together and confident. Now, will y'all see me in WalMart wearing yoga pants, my Smith & Wesson sweatshirt, with my hair in a pony tail, and flip flops on my feet. Yeah, I'm sure you will. However, I will make an effort to get my hair done more than twice next year (at least 3-4 times), wear clothes that flatter me on a regular basis, pluck or wax my brows, and generally put more of an effort into my appearance.
I fully believe that these goals are not just important for me, but for JD as well. After all, he learns how to take care of himself the way his family takes care of themselves. Each time I make the decision to pick up pizza for dinner because I'm "too tired" to make a healthy choice, that is a decision that impacts him, too. Each time I choose to sit on the couch instead of exercising, that teaches him that exercise is not important. Every time I neglect my health - for whatever excuses I can come up with - I am passing those things onto my child. As parents, we aren't just tasked with teaching our children to read, write, be good citizens, etc, but we are also tasked with teaching our children how to be healthy. Like JD's dad said not too long ago - like it or not, JD has parents who will always have to watch what they eat, and how they exercise. However, by passing along healthy habits to my child, I am hoping that he never has to be on a "diet", but that healthy living will be a lifestyle for him.
So, there you go. Those are some pretty specific goals for 2012. It's time to live with intention.
This is a beautiful life.
Year End Review...
Just typing that title makes me laugh, and that is why I titled it this. You see, a couple of years back, my supervisor - the Director of HR - asked if I could send out some meeting requests for "year end reviews". Well, I did. Then, I realized that I sent out meeting requests for "Rear End Reviews". Yes, that actually happened. Spell check didn't catch it because "rear" is a word and it's not misspelled. We were cracking up. I told her that was taking the review to a whole other level and I wouldn't be surprised if people declined her request. hahahaha.... Okay, I digress before I'm even started.
So, I looked back at my goals for 2011 and thought to myself that 2011 has ended up being a year where I personally accomplished more than I thought possible. I pushed myself harder than I thought I could, and honestly, harder than I ever wanted to, and the rewards for that were great.
I started the year off one or two days into home ownership. Tomorrow, actually, will be one full year since I closed on the house. I remember walking out of that title place, and it was after 6 in the evening, and about to rain, holding this huge packet with copies of my paperwork, and more sets of keys than I ever thought I'd need, and being almost in a state of disbelief. I was a homeowner. Holy moly. JD and I were leaving the apartment, where I had spent the last almost seven years, and starting a new chapter in our lives. Needless to say, we had a bunch of stuff to get down the stairs, and into moving trailers, first. ha! I had the most wonderful friends show up and we were moved across town by 10:30 that night - never to look back. From time to time, I pass by those old apartments and it really does almost seem like we never even lived there - like we've been in our home forever. I absolutely LOVE my house. I don't even mind having to take the trash out. All those things I thought I'd look forward to before we moved in, don't compare to the feeling of actually living here. Okay, enough waxing poetic about my house. =)
Work, this year, was crazy busy the entire year. It really never felt like we had down time. It was a huge transition for me, because we changed up some things in our department, and one of my favorite people moved away. I'll be honest - and this isn't too nice of me. I was pretty sure that absolutely nobody we hired would fill the void that I felt when Kevin left. He made me laugh, is my birthday twin (he's seven years older, but we share a birthday), annoys me like an older brother, and although I knew he had been given a great opportunity at one of our sister companies, I selfishly didn't want him to leave. So, in Spring, when we hired this woman - who shares my name of all things - seriously, is there enough room in our office for two Kims? - I wasn't quite sure of how she would fit in. And she loves to hug...no, y'all...I mean spontaneous, squeeze the breath out of you and doesn't even know you, yet, hug. It startled me. I told her. She told me she would break me of that and I would be a hugger. I told her good luck. You know what? She was impossible not to like. I mean impossible. It doesn't take but just a little bit of time with her to know that she is one of the most genuine people you will ever meet. She laughs with an abandon that I sometimes wish I had, hugs people tight (but not everyone - she is professional), can be a bit talky (really, I'm not judging here, I'm talky), and at the end of the day only wants the best for the people she knows. We get along famously. When she is not there, I miss her. She sits right across from me, so we look at each other every minute of every day. Of all the people I've met this year, she is the one I am most thankful for having been given the opportunity to share in her life. I don't just say that. She was a reminder to me, from God, that things don't always work the way we want them, but sometimes a new opportunity comes along and in that you can grow in ways you never imagined.
My former co-worker and still friend, Kevin, is the reason I found myself pushing myself physically harder than I ever imagined. In April, when he was diagnosed with cancer, I found myself feeling this incredible sense of helplessness. I mean, they had just moved away, and although I'm not a hugger (even after all of Kim's attempts, I'm still not a huge hugger to everyone), I wanted nothing more than to hug him and his wife and their daughter. Instead, I told him and his wife that I would run the half marathon with her in their honor. Y'all know the story by now, but when November 5th rolled around, I could hardly believe that I was in that moment. I couldn't believe that in six months I went from not being a runner at all, to running a half marathon. It was absolutely one of the things in my life that I will be proudest to have accomplished. It taught me that I really could achieve goals that I set for myself. I mean goals that I never imagined. Truly...me? A runner? That is just hilarious. HI-LAR-IOUS. It still seems surreal. I proudly placed that 13.1 magnet on the back on my car...and my refrigerator...and in my cubicle (yes, I bought three), and realized that I really can push myself to things I didn't think possible. If you have never trained for something like that, let me tell you, some of my best talking to the Lord came in those moments. When you are by yourself, nature around you, sometimes in pain, calling out on the Lord just seems natural. =) I'm pretty sure I listened to How Great Thou Art for an entire 90 minute run one day. You know what? He is amazingly great. Then sings my soul... My friend is cancer free. Thank you, Lord.
Did I mention that I became the mother to a teenager? No, seriously. A teenager. Crazy, huh? JD turned 13 in September. He is several inches taller than I am (although I tried in vain to deny that for many months), and makes me realize everyday how quickly life is going by. When we went to Disney, I had a proud mama moment. It was late, everyone is wanting a seat on the bus back to the room, and we were first in line. We sat down, the bus fills up, and in walks this lady carrying a small child. Without even thinking about it, JD stands up and gives her his seat. Yeah, I'm not going to lie, sitting there in the dark, I teared up. The lady commented on how nice of a young man he is and then turned to me and said he must have had some good raising. I told her that I didn't think I could take credit for all of that. Truly. He is a wonderful person in his own right. I know I'm kind of biased. I'm willing to admit that, but hey, the truth is the truth.
So, I said that Kim was the person I was most thankful to meet this year, but there is one person I met, that makes me smile just to think about her. In October, Grace Elizabeth Rogers, made her world debut. That was the last time she didn't have a bow on her head. Have y'all seen the pictures? Um, yeah, she's pretty darn cute. I've had other friends who have had babies, but this was different. See, not only is her mama one of my best friends (benuffles - that is for you, Mallory), but we work together. Not just for the same company, but in the same area of the building, behind a door you have to badge into, so not many people head up our way. haha! I was able to share, on a daily basis, the miracle of her development. From the time we found out she was on the way, until her birth, which seemed at least twice as long as normal...ha, I was blessed to be able to enjoy each step of the process. I will be honest here. I have never had baby fever. Probably about the time I would have wanted another child, I was getting a divorce, and since then - well, let's just say, that I have solely focused on the one I was blessed with. I still don't have baby fever, but if there ever was a baby who would help push that along, Grace is the one. Just thinking of her makes me smile.
Speaking of babies...hint hint...and life changing events. My younger sister, Mae-Beth, got married this year. It's no secret that her husband is my favorite. I mean, how can he not be? He makes lumpia. If you are unsure what lumpia is, well, you are missing out. More than that, he and his beautiful son, Julian, make her happy. His family loves my sister, they think she is a blessing to Scott and Julian, and they tell her that. It is nothing less than she deserves. No, she is not having a baby, yet, but I'm sure that when that day comes, I will be over the moon with excitement. I couldn't have chosen a more perfect fit for her...and that he came with one of the cutest, sweetest, children you will ever meet in your life, was just a bonus.
Last for this blog, but not least....I started going back to school. This is something I have been putting off for a long time, and I'm so glad that I finally just bit the bullet and did it. I was so nervous. I actually had a nervous stomach on the first day of class, and they are online courses. Seriously. Now, into my second semester, I'm realizing that this is a great decision. This is going to give to only benefit me and JD in the long run. I made A's the first semester, and I'm on track to do the same this semester. This is going to be a two year process, but at the end of it, I will have my degree. By the way, all those dual enrollment courses I took in high school, really came back to help me. They still count and that put me ahead of the gang towards getting my degree.
I'm sure I'll write another blog - with goals for 2012 sometime in the next couple of days, but for now, JD and I have been watching NCIS on DVD, and this is getting good. Plus, he's putting in to get hibachi for dinner, so I'm going to need to get ready for that. =)
This is a beautiful life.
So, I looked back at my goals for 2011 and thought to myself that 2011 has ended up being a year where I personally accomplished more than I thought possible. I pushed myself harder than I thought I could, and honestly, harder than I ever wanted to, and the rewards for that were great.
I started the year off one or two days into home ownership. Tomorrow, actually, will be one full year since I closed on the house. I remember walking out of that title place, and it was after 6 in the evening, and about to rain, holding this huge packet with copies of my paperwork, and more sets of keys than I ever thought I'd need, and being almost in a state of disbelief. I was a homeowner. Holy moly. JD and I were leaving the apartment, where I had spent the last almost seven years, and starting a new chapter in our lives. Needless to say, we had a bunch of stuff to get down the stairs, and into moving trailers, first. ha! I had the most wonderful friends show up and we were moved across town by 10:30 that night - never to look back. From time to time, I pass by those old apartments and it really does almost seem like we never even lived there - like we've been in our home forever. I absolutely LOVE my house. I don't even mind having to take the trash out. All those things I thought I'd look forward to before we moved in, don't compare to the feeling of actually living here. Okay, enough waxing poetic about my house. =)
Work, this year, was crazy busy the entire year. It really never felt like we had down time. It was a huge transition for me, because we changed up some things in our department, and one of my favorite people moved away. I'll be honest - and this isn't too nice of me. I was pretty sure that absolutely nobody we hired would fill the void that I felt when Kevin left. He made me laugh, is my birthday twin (he's seven years older, but we share a birthday), annoys me like an older brother, and although I knew he had been given a great opportunity at one of our sister companies, I selfishly didn't want him to leave. So, in Spring, when we hired this woman - who shares my name of all things - seriously, is there enough room in our office for two Kims? - I wasn't quite sure of how she would fit in. And she loves to hug...no, y'all...I mean spontaneous, squeeze the breath out of you and doesn't even know you, yet, hug. It startled me. I told her. She told me she would break me of that and I would be a hugger. I told her good luck. You know what? She was impossible not to like. I mean impossible. It doesn't take but just a little bit of time with her to know that she is one of the most genuine people you will ever meet. She laughs with an abandon that I sometimes wish I had, hugs people tight (but not everyone - she is professional), can be a bit talky (really, I'm not judging here, I'm talky), and at the end of the day only wants the best for the people she knows. We get along famously. When she is not there, I miss her. She sits right across from me, so we look at each other every minute of every day. Of all the people I've met this year, she is the one I am most thankful for having been given the opportunity to share in her life. I don't just say that. She was a reminder to me, from God, that things don't always work the way we want them, but sometimes a new opportunity comes along and in that you can grow in ways you never imagined.
My former co-worker and still friend, Kevin, is the reason I found myself pushing myself physically harder than I ever imagined. In April, when he was diagnosed with cancer, I found myself feeling this incredible sense of helplessness. I mean, they had just moved away, and although I'm not a hugger (even after all of Kim's attempts, I'm still not a huge hugger to everyone), I wanted nothing more than to hug him and his wife and their daughter. Instead, I told him and his wife that I would run the half marathon with her in their honor. Y'all know the story by now, but when November 5th rolled around, I could hardly believe that I was in that moment. I couldn't believe that in six months I went from not being a runner at all, to running a half marathon. It was absolutely one of the things in my life that I will be proudest to have accomplished. It taught me that I really could achieve goals that I set for myself. I mean goals that I never imagined. Truly...me? A runner? That is just hilarious. HI-LAR-IOUS. It still seems surreal. I proudly placed that 13.1 magnet on the back on my car...and my refrigerator...and in my cubicle (yes, I bought three), and realized that I really can push myself to things I didn't think possible. If you have never trained for something like that, let me tell you, some of my best talking to the Lord came in those moments. When you are by yourself, nature around you, sometimes in pain, calling out on the Lord just seems natural. =) I'm pretty sure I listened to How Great Thou Art for an entire 90 minute run one day. You know what? He is amazingly great. Then sings my soul... My friend is cancer free. Thank you, Lord.
Did I mention that I became the mother to a teenager? No, seriously. A teenager. Crazy, huh? JD turned 13 in September. He is several inches taller than I am (although I tried in vain to deny that for many months), and makes me realize everyday how quickly life is going by. When we went to Disney, I had a proud mama moment. It was late, everyone is wanting a seat on the bus back to the room, and we were first in line. We sat down, the bus fills up, and in walks this lady carrying a small child. Without even thinking about it, JD stands up and gives her his seat. Yeah, I'm not going to lie, sitting there in the dark, I teared up. The lady commented on how nice of a young man he is and then turned to me and said he must have had some good raising. I told her that I didn't think I could take credit for all of that. Truly. He is a wonderful person in his own right. I know I'm kind of biased. I'm willing to admit that, but hey, the truth is the truth.
So, I said that Kim was the person I was most thankful to meet this year, but there is one person I met, that makes me smile just to think about her. In October, Grace Elizabeth Rogers, made her world debut. That was the last time she didn't have a bow on her head. Have y'all seen the pictures? Um, yeah, she's pretty darn cute. I've had other friends who have had babies, but this was different. See, not only is her mama one of my best friends (benuffles - that is for you, Mallory), but we work together. Not just for the same company, but in the same area of the building, behind a door you have to badge into, so not many people head up our way. haha! I was able to share, on a daily basis, the miracle of her development. From the time we found out she was on the way, until her birth, which seemed at least twice as long as normal...ha, I was blessed to be able to enjoy each step of the process. I will be honest here. I have never had baby fever. Probably about the time I would have wanted another child, I was getting a divorce, and since then - well, let's just say, that I have solely focused on the one I was blessed with. I still don't have baby fever, but if there ever was a baby who would help push that along, Grace is the one. Just thinking of her makes me smile.
Speaking of babies...hint hint...and life changing events. My younger sister, Mae-Beth, got married this year. It's no secret that her husband is my favorite. I mean, how can he not be? He makes lumpia. If you are unsure what lumpia is, well, you are missing out. More than that, he and his beautiful son, Julian, make her happy. His family loves my sister, they think she is a blessing to Scott and Julian, and they tell her that. It is nothing less than she deserves. No, she is not having a baby, yet, but I'm sure that when that day comes, I will be over the moon with excitement. I couldn't have chosen a more perfect fit for her...and that he came with one of the cutest, sweetest, children you will ever meet in your life, was just a bonus.
Last for this blog, but not least....I started going back to school. This is something I have been putting off for a long time, and I'm so glad that I finally just bit the bullet and did it. I was so nervous. I actually had a nervous stomach on the first day of class, and they are online courses. Seriously. Now, into my second semester, I'm realizing that this is a great decision. This is going to give to only benefit me and JD in the long run. I made A's the first semester, and I'm on track to do the same this semester. This is going to be a two year process, but at the end of it, I will have my degree. By the way, all those dual enrollment courses I took in high school, really came back to help me. They still count and that put me ahead of the gang towards getting my degree.
I'm sure I'll write another blog - with goals for 2012 sometime in the next couple of days, but for now, JD and I have been watching NCIS on DVD, and this is getting good. Plus, he's putting in to get hibachi for dinner, so I'm going to need to get ready for that. =)
This is a beautiful life.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Oh My Goodness....I Think I'm a Real Runner
It's official....I'm officially over the half way point to the half marathon. Huh? Yeah, repeat that again....half way point to the half marathon (that's a lot of halves in there). =) For some of you natural athletic types, I realize that running a 12'35" mile might not be something you'd be proud to tell your friends (and some strangers) about, but if you are a short 5'1, blond woman, with a big smile and even bigger...well...I think you know where I'm heading with this, that is a sure enough accomplishment. I told one my co-workers I think that is why I get random people who pull up along side me while I run and encourage me - because I don't look like your typical runner. I mean, if you see some lean athletic person barely breaking a sweat running a 5k in 15 minutes you hardly have time to register what you're seeing before they are gone, but if you see some chubby woman sweating it out, singing along to an iPod that the ear buds are not in her ears, but around her neck, pretty much running slow enough as to appear to jog in place, and it's almost 100 degrees outside, you have plenty of time to articulate your thoughts before she can get away from you. I'm being funny about it now, but those random words of encouragement have gone a long way some mornings.
I thought I'd share some things I'm learning during this journey.
1. I am physically stronger than I thought. If you ask me about mental strength, I would tell you I'm a pretty tough cookie, but physically, I've never really pushed myself passed that "oh crap, this really doesn't feel good" feeling. It is wonderful to know that I can do it. I've decided lately that it is a shame that I haven't been using my physical capabilities to the fullest of my potential. I wonder how many people in my town alone would love to be healthy enough to even walk a short distance. You know what? I am. I just allowed myself to be lazy - and for that I should be ashamed. I am blessed with wonderful health and I plan to continue be thankful for that and take care of myself in the best way possible.
2. There is a moment in almost every run where I question just why exactly I thought it would be a good idea to do a half marathon. Funny enough, I don't question my physical ability, because I know I'll make it. I cannot tell you that every single day three minutes before I walk out the door to run that I feel the most excitement ever. However, I can tell you this without a shadow of a doubt - feelings change. Just how you felt like parachute pants were going to be the fashion statement of a lifetime, or it really was cool to shave your eyebrows like Vanilla Ice, or an extra large can of Aqua Net and some hot rollers were God's answer to any hair dilemma, your feelings about exercising will change. Some days, I hit the door without an once of real motivation, but once I get out there it's on. The hardest part is putting my shoes on some mornings.
3. The above being said - there is a moment in every run where I know I'm going to make it (usually over the half way point), I block out doubts and I run a bit straighter. I just feel strong. I remember EXACTLY why I made this commitment and I keep that in my heart. Each and every single time I am finished, I am proud of my efforts. They might not be the fastest, they might not be the longest in distance, I might of had better days, but what counts is that I'm doing it. Who cares if I run 30 seconds faster today than I did yesterday. Shoot, my goal isn't to win this thing (good thing because I'd be sorely disappointed...ha!), my goal is to finish. With that thought, I'm able to put it all in perspective. I will finish the race I have started.
4. For those who read my earlier blogs about the proper running attire, here's one you'll appreciate. I LOVE MY RUNNING PANTS. Yes, you know, the ones I went on and on about how tight they are. I love them. I even purchased a new pair of capri running pants. Those things hold everything where it needs to be and besides my perfectly fitting shoes, are the best purchase I've made. I will only wear proper running pants to run in from now on - none of this yoga pants to run in stuff...shoot no. I've spent more money on running clothes this year than new other types of clothes. Nice. You can see wear my priorities are. ha!
5. It was an amazing feeling to know I actually ran over 8 miles in one run. It was awesome to think that I only have 5 miles left and I'll be at the half marathon distance. Yeah, I know that seems like a big jump, but let me say, I really feel like if you can get to 8, you can get to 13. =)
6. My one last thought....this is more a mental task than a physical one. There are several people who have asked how I am able to do it and here are my two pieces of advice:
I thought I'd share some things I'm learning during this journey.
1. I am physically stronger than I thought. If you ask me about mental strength, I would tell you I'm a pretty tough cookie, but physically, I've never really pushed myself passed that "oh crap, this really doesn't feel good" feeling. It is wonderful to know that I can do it. I've decided lately that it is a shame that I haven't been using my physical capabilities to the fullest of my potential. I wonder how many people in my town alone would love to be healthy enough to even walk a short distance. You know what? I am. I just allowed myself to be lazy - and for that I should be ashamed. I am blessed with wonderful health and I plan to continue be thankful for that and take care of myself in the best way possible.
2. There is a moment in almost every run where I question just why exactly I thought it would be a good idea to do a half marathon. Funny enough, I don't question my physical ability, because I know I'll make it. I cannot tell you that every single day three minutes before I walk out the door to run that I feel the most excitement ever. However, I can tell you this without a shadow of a doubt - feelings change. Just how you felt like parachute pants were going to be the fashion statement of a lifetime, or it really was cool to shave your eyebrows like Vanilla Ice, or an extra large can of Aqua Net and some hot rollers were God's answer to any hair dilemma, your feelings about exercising will change. Some days, I hit the door without an once of real motivation, but once I get out there it's on. The hardest part is putting my shoes on some mornings.
3. The above being said - there is a moment in every run where I know I'm going to make it (usually over the half way point), I block out doubts and I run a bit straighter. I just feel strong. I remember EXACTLY why I made this commitment and I keep that in my heart. Each and every single time I am finished, I am proud of my efforts. They might not be the fastest, they might not be the longest in distance, I might of had better days, but what counts is that I'm doing it. Who cares if I run 30 seconds faster today than I did yesterday. Shoot, my goal isn't to win this thing (good thing because I'd be sorely disappointed...ha!), my goal is to finish. With that thought, I'm able to put it all in perspective. I will finish the race I have started.
4. For those who read my earlier blogs about the proper running attire, here's one you'll appreciate. I LOVE MY RUNNING PANTS. Yes, you know, the ones I went on and on about how tight they are. I love them. I even purchased a new pair of capri running pants. Those things hold everything where it needs to be and besides my perfectly fitting shoes, are the best purchase I've made. I will only wear proper running pants to run in from now on - none of this yoga pants to run in stuff...shoot no. I've spent more money on running clothes this year than new other types of clothes. Nice. You can see wear my priorities are. ha!
5. It was an amazing feeling to know I actually ran over 8 miles in one run. It was awesome to think that I only have 5 miles left and I'll be at the half marathon distance. Yeah, I know that seems like a big jump, but let me say, I really feel like if you can get to 8, you can get to 13. =)
6. My one last thought....this is more a mental task than a physical one. There are several people who have asked how I am able to do it and here are my two pieces of advice:
- Decide to do it - purpose in your heart that you will complete whatever your goal is
- Do it - get out there and take action - even when you don't feel 100% you will be so happy you tried
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