The hard truth of the journey to honor my temple in 2012 is that the weight loss part is definitely going to be the hardest. There is something that wells up in me when I think about having to deny myself. There I said it. It is almost like a rebellious attitude that says "I can do what I want - I'm a grown woman". The fact that I feel super lame even typing that shows me how lame that idea is. Why would I want something that is detrimental to my success? Why would I want to continue the same way I have been? Why?
Today, I had to be honest with myself.
The hard truth is that I have done things in the past to sabotage my success in this area. I've exercised hard - only to go get Whataburger or pizza - only to feel that sense of failure after eating. Yet, I continued to find myself repeating that cycle. Watch what I eat....exercise....fall off the wagon.
When I was growing up, there were times that as punishment, we would have to run. Until doing the half marathon last year, I would have told you that I absolutely hated running - or exercise in general. Each time I went out to run, this feeling would hit me and I would absolutely HATE having to exercise. I would just want to quit.
Well - this is the year. This is the year that I will tell myself the hard truths. I will admit why I make the decisions to sabotage myself and I will stop allowing myself to undermine my success. Honestly, I imagine that I will be praying myself through this, too. I will pray for God to help me because I am not strong enough on my own. If I were, I would have already conquered this. I will start being honest with myself about what I'm eating and how much exercise I'm doing.
So - here it goes. I will decide each day to make the best decisions for my health. I will quit hiding from relationships by sabotaging my weight (yeah, I do that - and that stops today). This is for me. This is my year. I will stop choosing unhealthy choices above myself.
