Just typing that title makes me laugh, and that is why I titled it this. You see, a couple of years back, my supervisor - the Director of HR - asked if I could send out some meeting requests for "year end reviews". Well, I did. Then, I realized that I sent out meeting requests for "Rear End Reviews". Yes, that actually happened. Spell check didn't catch it because "rear" is a word and it's not misspelled. We were cracking up. I told her that was taking the review to a whole other level and I wouldn't be surprised if people declined her request. hahahaha.... Okay, I digress before I'm even started.
So, I looked back at my goals for 2011 and thought to myself that 2011 has ended up being a year where I personally accomplished more than I thought possible. I pushed myself harder than I thought I could, and honestly, harder than I ever wanted to, and the rewards for that were great.
I started the year off one or two days into home ownership. Tomorrow, actually, will be one full year since I closed on the house. I remember walking out of that title place, and it was after 6 in the evening, and about to rain, holding this huge packet with copies of my paperwork, and more sets of keys than I ever thought I'd need, and being almost in a state of disbelief. I was a homeowner. Holy moly. JD and I were leaving the apartment, where I had spent the last almost seven years, and starting a new chapter in our lives. Needless to say, we had a bunch of stuff to get down the stairs, and into moving trailers, first. ha! I had the most wonderful friends show up and we were moved across town by 10:30 that night - never to look back. From time to time, I pass by those old apartments and it really does almost seem like we never even lived there - like we've been in our home forever. I absolutely LOVE my house. I don't even mind having to take the trash out. All those things I thought I'd look forward to before we moved in, don't compare to the feeling of actually living here. Okay, enough waxing poetic about my house. =)
Work, this year, was crazy busy the entire year. It really never felt like we had down time. It was a huge transition for me, because we changed up some things in our department, and one of my favorite people moved away. I'll be honest - and this isn't too nice of me. I was pretty sure that absolutely nobody we hired would fill the void that I felt when Kevin left. He made me laugh, is my birthday twin (he's seven years older, but we share a birthday), annoys me like an older brother, and although I knew he had been given a great opportunity at one of our sister companies, I selfishly didn't want him to leave. So, in Spring, when we hired this woman - who shares my name of all things - seriously, is there enough room in our office for two Kims? - I wasn't quite sure of how she would fit in. And she loves to hug...no, y'all...I mean spontaneous, squeeze the breath out of you and doesn't even know you, yet, hug. It startled me. I told her. She told me she would break me of that and I would be a hugger. I told her good luck. You know what? She was impossible not to like. I mean impossible. It doesn't take but just a little bit of time with her to know that she is one of the most genuine people you will ever meet. She laughs with an abandon that I sometimes wish I had, hugs people tight (but not everyone - she is professional), can be a bit talky (really, I'm not judging here, I'm talky), and at the end of the day only wants the best for the people she knows. We get along famously. When she is not there, I miss her. She sits right across from me, so we look at each other every minute of every day. Of all the people I've met this year, she is the one I am most thankful for having been given the opportunity to share in her life. I don't just say that. She was a reminder to me, from God, that things don't always work the way we want them, but sometimes a new opportunity comes along and in that you can grow in ways you never imagined.
My former co-worker and still friend, Kevin, is the reason I found myself pushing myself physically harder than I ever imagined. In April, when he was diagnosed with cancer, I found myself feeling this incredible sense of helplessness. I mean, they had just moved away, and although I'm not a hugger (even after all of Kim's attempts, I'm still not a huge hugger to everyone), I wanted nothing more than to hug him and his wife and their daughter. Instead, I told him and his wife that I would run the half marathon with her in their honor. Y'all know the story by now, but when November 5th rolled around, I could hardly believe that I was in that moment. I couldn't believe that in six months I went from not being a runner at all, to running a half marathon. It was absolutely one of the things in my life that I will be proudest to have accomplished. It taught me that I really could achieve goals that I set for myself. I mean goals that I never imagined. Truly...me? A runner? That is just hilarious. HI-LAR-IOUS. It still seems surreal. I proudly placed that 13.1 magnet on the back on my car...and my refrigerator...and in my cubicle (yes, I bought three), and realized that I really can push myself to things I didn't think possible. If you have never trained for something like that, let me tell you, some of my best talking to the Lord came in those moments. When you are by yourself, nature around you, sometimes in pain, calling out on the Lord just seems natural. =) I'm pretty sure I listened to How Great Thou Art for an entire 90 minute run one day. You know what? He is amazingly great. Then sings my soul... My friend is cancer free. Thank you, Lord.
Did I mention that I became the mother to a teenager? No, seriously. A teenager. Crazy, huh? JD turned 13 in September. He is several inches taller than I am (although I tried in vain to deny that for many months), and makes me realize everyday how quickly life is going by. When we went to Disney, I had a proud mama moment. It was late, everyone is wanting a seat on the bus back to the room, and we were first in line. We sat down, the bus fills up, and in walks this lady carrying a small child. Without even thinking about it, JD stands up and gives her his seat. Yeah, I'm not going to lie, sitting there in the dark, I teared up. The lady commented on how nice of a young man he is and then turned to me and said he must have had some good raising. I told her that I didn't think I could take credit for all of that. Truly. He is a wonderful person in his own right. I know I'm kind of biased. I'm willing to admit that, but hey, the truth is the truth.
So, I said that Kim was the person I was most thankful to meet this year, but there is one person I met, that makes me smile just to think about her. In October, Grace Elizabeth Rogers, made her world debut. That was the last time she didn't have a bow on her head. Have y'all seen the pictures? Um, yeah, she's pretty darn cute. I've had other friends who have had babies, but this was different. See, not only is her mama one of my best friends (benuffles - that is for you, Mallory), but we work together. Not just for the same company, but in the same area of the building, behind a door you have to badge into, so not many people head up our way. haha! I was able to share, on a daily basis, the miracle of her development. From the time we found out she was on the way, until her birth, which seemed at least twice as long as normal...ha, I was blessed to be able to enjoy each step of the process. I will be honest here. I have never had baby fever. Probably about the time I would have wanted another child, I was getting a divorce, and since then - well, let's just say, that I have solely focused on the one I was blessed with. I still don't have baby fever, but if there ever was a baby who would help push that along, Grace is the one. Just thinking of her makes me smile.
Speaking of babies...hint hint...and life changing events. My younger sister, Mae-Beth, got married this year. It's no secret that her husband is my favorite. I mean, how can he not be? He makes lumpia. If you are unsure what lumpia is, well, you are missing out. More than that, he and his beautiful son, Julian, make her happy. His family loves my sister, they think she is a blessing to Scott and Julian, and they tell her that. It is nothing less than she deserves. No, she is not having a baby, yet, but I'm sure that when that day comes, I will be over the moon with excitement. I couldn't have chosen a more perfect fit for her...and that he came with one of the cutest, sweetest, children you will ever meet in your life, was just a bonus.
Last for this blog, but not least....I started going back to school. This is something I have been putting off for a long time, and I'm so glad that I finally just bit the bullet and did it. I was so nervous. I actually had a nervous stomach on the first day of class, and they are online courses. Seriously. Now, into my second semester, I'm realizing that this is a great decision. This is going to give to only benefit me and JD in the long run. I made A's the first semester, and I'm on track to do the same this semester. This is going to be a two year process, but at the end of it, I will have my degree. By the way, all those dual enrollment courses I took in high school, really came back to help me. They still count and that put me ahead of the gang towards getting my degree.
I'm sure I'll write another blog - with goals for 2012 sometime in the next couple of days, but for now, JD and I have been watching NCIS on DVD, and this is getting good. Plus, he's putting in to get hibachi for dinner, so I'm going to need to get ready for that. =)
This is a beautiful life.
Friday, December 30, 2011
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Oh My Goodness....I Think I'm a Real Runner
It's official....I'm officially over the half way point to the half marathon. Huh? Yeah, repeat that again....half way point to the half marathon (that's a lot of halves in there). =) For some of you natural athletic types, I realize that running a 12'35" mile might not be something you'd be proud to tell your friends (and some strangers) about, but if you are a short 5'1, blond woman, with a big smile and even bigger...well...I think you know where I'm heading with this, that is a sure enough accomplishment. I told one my co-workers I think that is why I get random people who pull up along side me while I run and encourage me - because I don't look like your typical runner. I mean, if you see some lean athletic person barely breaking a sweat running a 5k in 15 minutes you hardly have time to register what you're seeing before they are gone, but if you see some chubby woman sweating it out, singing along to an iPod that the ear buds are not in her ears, but around her neck, pretty much running slow enough as to appear to jog in place, and it's almost 100 degrees outside, you have plenty of time to articulate your thoughts before she can get away from you. I'm being funny about it now, but those random words of encouragement have gone a long way some mornings.
I thought I'd share some things I'm learning during this journey.
1. I am physically stronger than I thought. If you ask me about mental strength, I would tell you I'm a pretty tough cookie, but physically, I've never really pushed myself passed that "oh crap, this really doesn't feel good" feeling. It is wonderful to know that I can do it. I've decided lately that it is a shame that I haven't been using my physical capabilities to the fullest of my potential. I wonder how many people in my town alone would love to be healthy enough to even walk a short distance. You know what? I am. I just allowed myself to be lazy - and for that I should be ashamed. I am blessed with wonderful health and I plan to continue be thankful for that and take care of myself in the best way possible.
2. There is a moment in almost every run where I question just why exactly I thought it would be a good idea to do a half marathon. Funny enough, I don't question my physical ability, because I know I'll make it. I cannot tell you that every single day three minutes before I walk out the door to run that I feel the most excitement ever. However, I can tell you this without a shadow of a doubt - feelings change. Just how you felt like parachute pants were going to be the fashion statement of a lifetime, or it really was cool to shave your eyebrows like Vanilla Ice, or an extra large can of Aqua Net and some hot rollers were God's answer to any hair dilemma, your feelings about exercising will change. Some days, I hit the door without an once of real motivation, but once I get out there it's on. The hardest part is putting my shoes on some mornings.
3. The above being said - there is a moment in every run where I know I'm going to make it (usually over the half way point), I block out doubts and I run a bit straighter. I just feel strong. I remember EXACTLY why I made this commitment and I keep that in my heart. Each and every single time I am finished, I am proud of my efforts. They might not be the fastest, they might not be the longest in distance, I might of had better days, but what counts is that I'm doing it. Who cares if I run 30 seconds faster today than I did yesterday. Shoot, my goal isn't to win this thing (good thing because I'd be sorely disappointed...ha!), my goal is to finish. With that thought, I'm able to put it all in perspective. I will finish the race I have started.
4. For those who read my earlier blogs about the proper running attire, here's one you'll appreciate. I LOVE MY RUNNING PANTS. Yes, you know, the ones I went on and on about how tight they are. I love them. I even purchased a new pair of capri running pants. Those things hold everything where it needs to be and besides my perfectly fitting shoes, are the best purchase I've made. I will only wear proper running pants to run in from now on - none of this yoga pants to run in stuff...shoot no. I've spent more money on running clothes this year than new other types of clothes. Nice. You can see wear my priorities are. ha!
5. It was an amazing feeling to know I actually ran over 8 miles in one run. It was awesome to think that I only have 5 miles left and I'll be at the half marathon distance. Yeah, I know that seems like a big jump, but let me say, I really feel like if you can get to 8, you can get to 13. =)
6. My one last thought....this is more a mental task than a physical one. There are several people who have asked how I am able to do it and here are my two pieces of advice:
I thought I'd share some things I'm learning during this journey.
1. I am physically stronger than I thought. If you ask me about mental strength, I would tell you I'm a pretty tough cookie, but physically, I've never really pushed myself passed that "oh crap, this really doesn't feel good" feeling. It is wonderful to know that I can do it. I've decided lately that it is a shame that I haven't been using my physical capabilities to the fullest of my potential. I wonder how many people in my town alone would love to be healthy enough to even walk a short distance. You know what? I am. I just allowed myself to be lazy - and for that I should be ashamed. I am blessed with wonderful health and I plan to continue be thankful for that and take care of myself in the best way possible.
2. There is a moment in almost every run where I question just why exactly I thought it would be a good idea to do a half marathon. Funny enough, I don't question my physical ability, because I know I'll make it. I cannot tell you that every single day three minutes before I walk out the door to run that I feel the most excitement ever. However, I can tell you this without a shadow of a doubt - feelings change. Just how you felt like parachute pants were going to be the fashion statement of a lifetime, or it really was cool to shave your eyebrows like Vanilla Ice, or an extra large can of Aqua Net and some hot rollers were God's answer to any hair dilemma, your feelings about exercising will change. Some days, I hit the door without an once of real motivation, but once I get out there it's on. The hardest part is putting my shoes on some mornings.
3. The above being said - there is a moment in every run where I know I'm going to make it (usually over the half way point), I block out doubts and I run a bit straighter. I just feel strong. I remember EXACTLY why I made this commitment and I keep that in my heart. Each and every single time I am finished, I am proud of my efforts. They might not be the fastest, they might not be the longest in distance, I might of had better days, but what counts is that I'm doing it. Who cares if I run 30 seconds faster today than I did yesterday. Shoot, my goal isn't to win this thing (good thing because I'd be sorely disappointed...ha!), my goal is to finish. With that thought, I'm able to put it all in perspective. I will finish the race I have started.
4. For those who read my earlier blogs about the proper running attire, here's one you'll appreciate. I LOVE MY RUNNING PANTS. Yes, you know, the ones I went on and on about how tight they are. I love them. I even purchased a new pair of capri running pants. Those things hold everything where it needs to be and besides my perfectly fitting shoes, are the best purchase I've made. I will only wear proper running pants to run in from now on - none of this yoga pants to run in stuff...shoot no. I've spent more money on running clothes this year than new other types of clothes. Nice. You can see wear my priorities are. ha!
5. It was an amazing feeling to know I actually ran over 8 miles in one run. It was awesome to think that I only have 5 miles left and I'll be at the half marathon distance. Yeah, I know that seems like a big jump, but let me say, I really feel like if you can get to 8, you can get to 13. =)
6. My one last thought....this is more a mental task than a physical one. There are several people who have asked how I am able to do it and here are my two pieces of advice:
- Decide to do it - purpose in your heart that you will complete whatever your goal is
- Do it - get out there and take action - even when you don't feel 100% you will be so happy you tried
Saturday, July 23, 2011
90 Minutes, 6.66 Miles, and My Favorite Meal
Today was what I would consider my first long run. Yes, I've done quite a few hour long runs, and while that is the longest I've ever run, I've done hour long spin classes before or walked for an hour. However, I can say that I've never done any kind of cardio for 90 minutes before today. To say I was a bit nervous about it would be an understatement.
Last night, I took JD and my nephew, Robbie, to see Captain America. It was a spur of the moment decision, in which we would go to the movies and then Robbie would stay the night. We got home around 10 and I knew I would need to get in bed pretty soon, so I could get some rest. The boys, however, were free to stay up and watch movies or play Wii. After a while of boys being boys and playing around, they settled in and I went to sleep. I had strange dreams about my shoes being too small. Seriously. I told y'all this half marathon thing can be consuming. haha!
When I rolled out of bed this morning, it was already after six - about an hour later than I wanted to be running. I got dressed, told the two sleeping teenagers (okay, one just turned a teenager and one will be a teenager in a couple of months) that I was going for a run, and set out. Thankfully, it was very cloudy this morning, so it wasn't quite as warm as I imagined it would be.
I started out walking for the first five minutes and then decided to do a slow jog. I knew I would need to pace myself because I had to go a long way. I also knew this run would be important because I realize that I'm going to be running or run/walking for three hours for the half marathon. I knew that if I struggled today, it would be a little discouraging since I'm only doing half the time that I will need to be at in November.
By the time I hit the half way point, 45 minutes in, I cannot begin to articulate how great I was feeling. I was feeling so strong - mentally and physically. Yes, I was going slow, but I knew without a doubt that I would be able to complete this run. I really felt like not only would I complete this run, but I would complete it feeling good - not absolutely worn down. That is also important, because I still have 14 or 15 weeks left of training and I don't want to not be able to get back out there tomorrow because I about killed myself today. At one point, I truly felt like I could just keep running forever.
I finished up the run strong. I came back in the house - to the same two sleeping teenagers - and realized that I, non-athlete that I am - just ran over half of a half marathon. haha! Today, I completed my first 10k and then some. I felt absolutely amazing. Yes, I was nasty sweaty, hot as all get out, and pretty thirsty, but feeling wonderful. In the end, I ran 6.66 miles in 90 minutes.
The best part of today's run was that I really didn't feel absolutely wiped out. I have run before and felt the need to just lie down and sleep after. Surprisingly enough, not today. Today, I felt energized. At some point, I did end up falling asleep on the couch for about 45 minutes, but trust me, that wasn't long at all - considering after the Firecracker 5k I pretty much slept off and on the rest of the day. I took a minute or two video of myself after and thought I would post it on my blog, but I can't figure out how.
On a different note...
Later this evening, JD and I went to a 4:45 movie. Yes, we saw two movies in two days - we are movie people - what can I say? We got home a little after 7. I had mentioned to JD that we might just do something easy for dinner tonight. Last week, Winn Dixie had this deal where if you bought a box of corn dogs you got a tub of Country Crock mac and cheese. Now, I have never had the mac and cheese from Country Crock and corn dogs aren't something we normally eat, but it did seem like something quick to put in the oven. We got home and I was going to go change my clothes, so JD set the oven to preheat. A few minutes later, I hear the oven beep because it was preheated.....when what do I hear next? I hear cabinet doors being opened and the sound of pans being moved around. Sure enough, I come out and JD has put the corn dogs in the oven. I mention that I'm going to go figure out what needs to happen with the mac and cheese and he says no, he wants to do it. He wants to finish making dinner and fix out plates. He even made more Crystal Lite pink lemonade.
Baked corn dogs and mac and cheese may be my new favorite meal. It's not what was cooked, but the fact that he cooked it. It made me almost tear up - seriously. It just made me realize - once again - how fast time is going by and how quickly my son has gone from a baby to a child to a teenager and one day, he'll be a grown man. I know I have a few more years until then, but time has gone by so fast. I know I'll wake up one day soon and hardly believe the years have passed. When your children are born you can't imagine loving them anymore than you do that day and are just proud to call them yours, but as any parent will tell you, that is only the beginning.
Anyways...that is it for tonight. JD says it is my turn on Word With Friends...that is another thing - I love playing Words With Friends with my kid. =)
This is a beautiful life.
Last night, I took JD and my nephew, Robbie, to see Captain America. It was a spur of the moment decision, in which we would go to the movies and then Robbie would stay the night. We got home around 10 and I knew I would need to get in bed pretty soon, so I could get some rest. The boys, however, were free to stay up and watch movies or play Wii. After a while of boys being boys and playing around, they settled in and I went to sleep. I had strange dreams about my shoes being too small. Seriously. I told y'all this half marathon thing can be consuming. haha!
When I rolled out of bed this morning, it was already after six - about an hour later than I wanted to be running. I got dressed, told the two sleeping teenagers (okay, one just turned a teenager and one will be a teenager in a couple of months) that I was going for a run, and set out. Thankfully, it was very cloudy this morning, so it wasn't quite as warm as I imagined it would be.
I started out walking for the first five minutes and then decided to do a slow jog. I knew I would need to pace myself because I had to go a long way. I also knew this run would be important because I realize that I'm going to be running or run/walking for three hours for the half marathon. I knew that if I struggled today, it would be a little discouraging since I'm only doing half the time that I will need to be at in November.
By the time I hit the half way point, 45 minutes in, I cannot begin to articulate how great I was feeling. I was feeling so strong - mentally and physically. Yes, I was going slow, but I knew without a doubt that I would be able to complete this run. I really felt like not only would I complete this run, but I would complete it feeling good - not absolutely worn down. That is also important, because I still have 14 or 15 weeks left of training and I don't want to not be able to get back out there tomorrow because I about killed myself today. At one point, I truly felt like I could just keep running forever.
I finished up the run strong. I came back in the house - to the same two sleeping teenagers - and realized that I, non-athlete that I am - just ran over half of a half marathon. haha! Today, I completed my first 10k and then some. I felt absolutely amazing. Yes, I was nasty sweaty, hot as all get out, and pretty thirsty, but feeling wonderful. In the end, I ran 6.66 miles in 90 minutes.
The best part of today's run was that I really didn't feel absolutely wiped out. I have run before and felt the need to just lie down and sleep after. Surprisingly enough, not today. Today, I felt energized. At some point, I did end up falling asleep on the couch for about 45 minutes, but trust me, that wasn't long at all - considering after the Firecracker 5k I pretty much slept off and on the rest of the day. I took a minute or two video of myself after and thought I would post it on my blog, but I can't figure out how.
On a different note...
Later this evening, JD and I went to a 4:45 movie. Yes, we saw two movies in two days - we are movie people - what can I say? We got home a little after 7. I had mentioned to JD that we might just do something easy for dinner tonight. Last week, Winn Dixie had this deal where if you bought a box of corn dogs you got a tub of Country Crock mac and cheese. Now, I have never had the mac and cheese from Country Crock and corn dogs aren't something we normally eat, but it did seem like something quick to put in the oven. We got home and I was going to go change my clothes, so JD set the oven to preheat. A few minutes later, I hear the oven beep because it was preheated.....when what do I hear next? I hear cabinet doors being opened and the sound of pans being moved around. Sure enough, I come out and JD has put the corn dogs in the oven. I mention that I'm going to go figure out what needs to happen with the mac and cheese and he says no, he wants to do it. He wants to finish making dinner and fix out plates. He even made more Crystal Lite pink lemonade.
Baked corn dogs and mac and cheese may be my new favorite meal. It's not what was cooked, but the fact that he cooked it. It made me almost tear up - seriously. It just made me realize - once again - how fast time is going by and how quickly my son has gone from a baby to a child to a teenager and one day, he'll be a grown man. I know I have a few more years until then, but time has gone by so fast. I know I'll wake up one day soon and hardly believe the years have passed. When your children are born you can't imagine loving them anymore than you do that day and are just proud to call them yours, but as any parent will tell you, that is only the beginning.
Anyways...that is it for tonight. JD says it is my turn on Word With Friends...that is another thing - I love playing Words With Friends with my kid. =)
This is a beautiful life.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Faster Than A Slug, Slower Than A Turtle...
As of today, I have 15 weeks and 5 days until that day - November 5th - when I lace up my shoes and run or run/walk or crawl or whatever I have to do to complete 13.1 miles. So far, I have gone a little over 126 and I estimate that I will do at least twice that much before November 5th.
Some time in the last few weeks, I have really started to believe that I will be able to do this. Yes, yes, I know - I signed up, so I better be able to do this, but there is a difference between thinking you should be capable of something and truly believing that you are strong enough and if you keep doing what needs to be done, you will have success.
Here are some things that I've noticed in the past 10 weeks...
1. Pretty much most of what I do starts with this question: How will this affect my running program? The shoes I wear, the food I eat, the things I drink, what time I go to bed, what time I get up...yes, pretty much all those essential things are done with running in mind. Now, that is weird for me. Obviously, I am not now nor have I ever been an athlete. I don't think there has ever been a time in my life when I've felt that way. Yes, it is a good thing, but I will say it is consuming, too. I pretty much know that if I eat junk, I'm going to feel like junk when I run and I made a promise to run, so that means I'm running -whether I feel great or not.
2. I have run over 126 miles and I have not lost a single pound in probably 6 weeks. Yes, at first I did lose a few more pounds, but since then...not one single pound. I'm really wondering how this is possible. I see people and they ask if I've lost weight because they think I look thinner, but the scale says - nada. Did I mention not one pound? For now, I've decided not to worry too much about it. Yes, I need to lose weight. Yes, I'm a bit confused as to why the weight is not budging, but losing weight was not the focus of this journey. So, I've decided to stay focused on one reason for this journey and remind myself that the goal is to complete a half marathon - whether I am one pound less on the scale or not. I have lost some inches, but eventually you would think the scale would start to move down. I'll keep y'all updated on that.
3. After the above paragraph - I would like to say that my running pants are still tight, but I can actually tell a difference when I put them on. I will count that as success....those things were not made to have room in them. ha!
4. For this one - you will have to stay with me. When I first started running, I can remember how excited I was when I clocked my first 13:33 mile and that was only for ONE mile. I realized the other day that I ran for an entire hour and for an ENTIRE HOUR I averaged faster than I did when I hit that 13:33 milestone (I averaged like 13:09 that run or something like that). I think the fastest I've maintained is 12:something for 50 minutes...probably closer to 13 than 12, but still. =) You see...I am still slow - very very slow - but I am reaching milestones I really didn't think were possible for me.
5. I've realized that while I've previously not put too much thought into my toe nails or how I want them to look, I am now constantly checking to make sure they aren't showing signs of bruising. I've done a ton of reading on how people who train for half marathons or marathons often lose their toenails, and the way you know that is starting to happen is if you start to see bruising under the nails. I realize that in the grand scheme toenails aren't that big of a deal, but when I'm not wearing running shoes, I like to wear open toed shoes and I'm a little freaked out about the possibility of losing my nails. I'm okay with gnarly looking calluses, but I want my nails gosh darn it. I guess vain inner Kim isn't quite as squelched as I thought. So far, they are looking just fine. I took the polish off over the weekend just to make sure. Just like the weight loss - I'm sure I'll let y'all know if my nails started to fall off. Please, Lord, no.
6. This is probably the most shocking to me: I am actually looking forward to running. Okay, let me be very very honest here. I am not saying that every single day three minutes before I run, I am just jumping for joy to go out in 90 degree weather with 95% humidity and sweat like I've been sitting in a sauna. However, I am saying that I look forward to that feeling I get when I hit that runner's high (trust me, it even happens to those who are basically running in place...ha), and I'm definitely looking forward to how I feel after I'm done. As I sit here on the couch tonight, today was a rest day, so I actually am looking forward to going to get in the bed and set my alarm for 4:50 and see how much I can bring tomorrow. It's very weird. Weird, I tell ya. Of course, I am more of a morning person, so I know that I have to get up and do my running in the morning - if not - I'm grumpy all day thinking about how I have that hanging over my head.
7. I'm more competitive than I previously thought. No, I'm not feeling like being in a competition with others, but I'm definitely pushing myself to do more than I thought possible. It's nice to look back over my Excel spreadsheet - where I've documented each run - and see the progress I've made. Who knows where I will be in 16 weeks....
8. Last for tonight, but definitely not least - my skin is nicer than ever. I have not suffered from dry skin one single time this summer. It is seriously baby smooth. I'm sure that has to do with the fact that I'm drinking close to a gallon of water every day - that's why I'm including it here. All those things that "'beauty experts" say about how water makes your skin look so healthy really is true. Try it. =)
Okay, it is about time for me to call it a night. I've got to try to get a little sleep before my run tomorrow.
This is a beautiful life.
Some time in the last few weeks, I have really started to believe that I will be able to do this. Yes, yes, I know - I signed up, so I better be able to do this, but there is a difference between thinking you should be capable of something and truly believing that you are strong enough and if you keep doing what needs to be done, you will have success.
Here are some things that I've noticed in the past 10 weeks...
1. Pretty much most of what I do starts with this question: How will this affect my running program? The shoes I wear, the food I eat, the things I drink, what time I go to bed, what time I get up...yes, pretty much all those essential things are done with running in mind. Now, that is weird for me. Obviously, I am not now nor have I ever been an athlete. I don't think there has ever been a time in my life when I've felt that way. Yes, it is a good thing, but I will say it is consuming, too. I pretty much know that if I eat junk, I'm going to feel like junk when I run and I made a promise to run, so that means I'm running -whether I feel great or not.
2. I have run over 126 miles and I have not lost a single pound in probably 6 weeks. Yes, at first I did lose a few more pounds, but since then...not one single pound. I'm really wondering how this is possible. I see people and they ask if I've lost weight because they think I look thinner, but the scale says - nada. Did I mention not one pound? For now, I've decided not to worry too much about it. Yes, I need to lose weight. Yes, I'm a bit confused as to why the weight is not budging, but losing weight was not the focus of this journey. So, I've decided to stay focused on one reason for this journey and remind myself that the goal is to complete a half marathon - whether I am one pound less on the scale or not. I have lost some inches, but eventually you would think the scale would start to move down. I'll keep y'all updated on that.
3. After the above paragraph - I would like to say that my running pants are still tight, but I can actually tell a difference when I put them on. I will count that as success....those things were not made to have room in them. ha!
4. For this one - you will have to stay with me. When I first started running, I can remember how excited I was when I clocked my first 13:33 mile and that was only for ONE mile. I realized the other day that I ran for an entire hour and for an ENTIRE HOUR I averaged faster than I did when I hit that 13:33 milestone (I averaged like 13:09 that run or something like that). I think the fastest I've maintained is 12:something for 50 minutes...probably closer to 13 than 12, but still. =) You see...I am still slow - very very slow - but I am reaching milestones I really didn't think were possible for me.
5. I've realized that while I've previously not put too much thought into my toe nails or how I want them to look, I am now constantly checking to make sure they aren't showing signs of bruising. I've done a ton of reading on how people who train for half marathons or marathons often lose their toenails, and the way you know that is starting to happen is if you start to see bruising under the nails. I realize that in the grand scheme toenails aren't that big of a deal, but when I'm not wearing running shoes, I like to wear open toed shoes and I'm a little freaked out about the possibility of losing my nails. I'm okay with gnarly looking calluses, but I want my nails gosh darn it. I guess vain inner Kim isn't quite as squelched as I thought. So far, they are looking just fine. I took the polish off over the weekend just to make sure. Just like the weight loss - I'm sure I'll let y'all know if my nails started to fall off. Please, Lord, no.
6. This is probably the most shocking to me: I am actually looking forward to running. Okay, let me be very very honest here. I am not saying that every single day three minutes before I run, I am just jumping for joy to go out in 90 degree weather with 95% humidity and sweat like I've been sitting in a sauna. However, I am saying that I look forward to that feeling I get when I hit that runner's high (trust me, it even happens to those who are basically running in place...ha), and I'm definitely looking forward to how I feel after I'm done. As I sit here on the couch tonight, today was a rest day, so I actually am looking forward to going to get in the bed and set my alarm for 4:50 and see how much I can bring tomorrow. It's very weird. Weird, I tell ya. Of course, I am more of a morning person, so I know that I have to get up and do my running in the morning - if not - I'm grumpy all day thinking about how I have that hanging over my head.
7. I'm more competitive than I previously thought. No, I'm not feeling like being in a competition with others, but I'm definitely pushing myself to do more than I thought possible. It's nice to look back over my Excel spreadsheet - where I've documented each run - and see the progress I've made. Who knows where I will be in 16 weeks....
8. Last for tonight, but definitely not least - my skin is nicer than ever. I have not suffered from dry skin one single time this summer. It is seriously baby smooth. I'm sure that has to do with the fact that I'm drinking close to a gallon of water every day - that's why I'm including it here. All those things that "'beauty experts" say about how water makes your skin look so healthy really is true. Try it. =)
Okay, it is about time for me to call it a night. I've got to try to get a little sleep before my run tomorrow.
This is a beautiful life.
Saturday, July 2, 2011
This is a Journey....Not Just a 5k
Let me start by saying, that I realized that sometime during this process, I would encounter obstacles. I also realized that the majority of these obstacles would be mental - not physical. However, after almost two months of consistent running, that had yet to happen. Open main stage curtain on a little drama we like to call - The Firecracker 5k.
This morning dawned as most mornings in Florida - in July - do. Hot and humid. Is that surprising to any of you? You'd think it's surprising to me because every morning that I get up and it's hot and humid, I still feel unprepared. I've even quit checking the weather before I run in hopes that I'll open the door to low humidity and cool temperatures. Someday, probably in November, I expect that will actually happen. I picked up my friend, Ashley, and her husband, Jake, and off we went to join the other eager runners who wanted to support the Ronald McDonald House. I made sure to tell Ashley that she really needed to run at her own pace because I would be slowing her down.
The race starts and I fully understand now about how when you are in a race type situation you just go and have a hard time settling into your normal pace. After about 15 minutes I knew I was in trouble. It was hot, and I had started out faster than I normally run, and now here I am sucking wind. Somewhere closer to mile 2, I realized my shoe was untied, so I stopped to tie my shoe and here comes Ashley. She had been ahead of me, but she circled back around so she could finish with me. Well, I was discouraged. I felt like puking and I was off the pace I've been doing lately. Ashley was so sweet and encouraging. I kept apologizing for slowing her down and really felt bad. You talk about someone who was down on myself....well, I was DOWN. I was ready to beat myself up...and maybe cry. ha!
We finally finished and I couldn't be happier to see the towel bucket where you get your icy cold towel. Oh boy...it felt amazing. Ashley, Jake, and I are standing there when these two men walked up. They started talking about how good they thought I did and how consistent my pace was. I remembered these guys because they were behind me earlier on - and they were also an Ashley and Kim situation - one was the encourager and one was needing encouragement. I can remember hearing the encourager telling his friend that he should just look at me and that although I was being passed I was being consistent. They didn't know though that once I stopped to tie my shoe - I just walked the rest of the 5k. I didn't puke though - and that's really what I was going for by that point. =)
I wish I could find those guys this afternoon and tell him how much their random encouragement meant to me. It truly almost brings tears to my eyes because they had no clue the internal struggle I was having with myself because I had done so much worse than I've been doing. They had no idea that I really was just so disappointed in myself. It really made me feel great...it turned the morning around for me. It made me feel so great about what I'm doing. Remember that...maybe someone needs your words of encouragement today.
Speaking of that....thank you to all of you who are following this journey with me. I've had several of you ask how I stay motivated and honestly knowing that there are people who are looking for those updates from me keeps me motivated. So, I appreciate y'all. I appreciate your words of encouraging.
On a funny note...with all the encouragement I've received, I've had a few people who want to point out the flaws with my plan. Mainly - how in the world do I expect that I will be able to complete a half marathon. I even had one person say, "Don't you think you're kind of cheating by running early instead of the time the actual race will be - you won't be ready." My immediate inner response was "When is the last time you ate a bug before 6 in the morning because I've done that twice this week while running." My outer response to that was "Well, the race is in November, so it is going to naturally be cooler outside than it is now and when we hit mid-September I do plan on running on Saturdays at the time the race will actually start." I don't feel like I'm cheating by running early. After today, I realize I'm probably doing the best thing for my mental and physical health. It is just too darn hot outside for 7:30 or 8:00 runs.
Well, it's almost 11, the air is down to 70, and the heat from this morning is but a memory....I think I'll take a nap. hahaha! Resting today - will be back out there running tomorrow.
This is a beautiful life.
This morning dawned as most mornings in Florida - in July - do. Hot and humid. Is that surprising to any of you? You'd think it's surprising to me because every morning that I get up and it's hot and humid, I still feel unprepared. I've even quit checking the weather before I run in hopes that I'll open the door to low humidity and cool temperatures. Someday, probably in November, I expect that will actually happen. I picked up my friend, Ashley, and her husband, Jake, and off we went to join the other eager runners who wanted to support the Ronald McDonald House. I made sure to tell Ashley that she really needed to run at her own pace because I would be slowing her down.
The race starts and I fully understand now about how when you are in a race type situation you just go and have a hard time settling into your normal pace. After about 15 minutes I knew I was in trouble. It was hot, and I had started out faster than I normally run, and now here I am sucking wind. Somewhere closer to mile 2, I realized my shoe was untied, so I stopped to tie my shoe and here comes Ashley. She had been ahead of me, but she circled back around so she could finish with me. Well, I was discouraged. I felt like puking and I was off the pace I've been doing lately. Ashley was so sweet and encouraging. I kept apologizing for slowing her down and really felt bad. You talk about someone who was down on myself....well, I was DOWN. I was ready to beat myself up...and maybe cry. ha!
We finally finished and I couldn't be happier to see the towel bucket where you get your icy cold towel. Oh boy...it felt amazing. Ashley, Jake, and I are standing there when these two men walked up. They started talking about how good they thought I did and how consistent my pace was. I remembered these guys because they were behind me earlier on - and they were also an Ashley and Kim situation - one was the encourager and one was needing encouragement. I can remember hearing the encourager telling his friend that he should just look at me and that although I was being passed I was being consistent. They didn't know though that once I stopped to tie my shoe - I just walked the rest of the 5k. I didn't puke though - and that's really what I was going for by that point. =)
I wish I could find those guys this afternoon and tell him how much their random encouragement meant to me. It truly almost brings tears to my eyes because they had no clue the internal struggle I was having with myself because I had done so much worse than I've been doing. They had no idea that I really was just so disappointed in myself. It really made me feel great...it turned the morning around for me. It made me feel so great about what I'm doing. Remember that...maybe someone needs your words of encouragement today.
Speaking of that....thank you to all of you who are following this journey with me. I've had several of you ask how I stay motivated and honestly knowing that there are people who are looking for those updates from me keeps me motivated. So, I appreciate y'all. I appreciate your words of encouraging.
On a funny note...with all the encouragement I've received, I've had a few people who want to point out the flaws with my plan. Mainly - how in the world do I expect that I will be able to complete a half marathon. I even had one person say, "Don't you think you're kind of cheating by running early instead of the time the actual race will be - you won't be ready." My immediate inner response was "When is the last time you ate a bug before 6 in the morning because I've done that twice this week while running." My outer response to that was "Well, the race is in November, so it is going to naturally be cooler outside than it is now and when we hit mid-September I do plan on running on Saturdays at the time the race will actually start." I don't feel like I'm cheating by running early. After today, I realize I'm probably doing the best thing for my mental and physical health. It is just too darn hot outside for 7:30 or 8:00 runs.
Well, it's almost 11, the air is down to 70, and the heat from this morning is but a memory....I think I'll take a nap. hahaha! Resting today - will be back out there running tomorrow.
This is a beautiful life.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
From Mother's Day to Father's Day and All The Miles In Between...
Well, it's Father's Day and a lot has happened since I made the decision to do this half marathon journey on Mother's Day.
First off, I am actually able to run - okay, a very very very slow jog, for almost an hour. I am strictly staying on my running schedule, so I've only had to do 50 minutes so far, but still. I seriously NEVER thought I'd be able to continuously jog for that length of time in just 6 weeks of training - or EVER - for that matter. Y'all might be questioning how I signed up to do a half marathon thinking I wouldn't be able to run for at least an hour - knowing that a half marathon in 13.1 miles - but my goal was never to run the whole thing, only to finish....crawling if I had to. I tell people that I'm pretty certain if the neighbors are looking out the window they probably have to stare a few minutes to decipher if I'm running in place or actually going somewhere I'm moving so slow, but I'm still doing it! The goal is to not injure myself so I'm being careful to not push myself too far too soon. November is still awhile away.
Second, I've realized that Vain Inner Kim is silenced - at least temporarily. I rarely - okay, never - match when I walk out the door to train. I'm proudly wearing my scary running pants, dark purple sports bra, and lime green tank top. Y'all I even bought - okay I hesitate to say "fanny pack" - but it is a small fanny pack. It's just big enough to hold my cell phone and keys, but it is still a glorified runner's fanny pack. I strap that thing on each morning and then pretend like it's not there. The neighbors see me sweat soaked, running around, sometimes singing out loud, and I don't even care anymore. Of course, when Laura is with me, I still don't match, but the talking to myself and singing are out. ha!
Third, I've realized that while I must like every song on my iPod because I'm the one who bought all the music, I only like about one in every ten songs when it is on shuffle. No, seriously. I think the reason some of my long runs seem to go by fast is because I'm spending most of the time hitting the "forward" button my iPod to move to the next song. What is up with that? I've made an "exercise" play list, but let's be real, there are only so many times you can listen to the same songs OVER and OVER before you start to get grumpy.
Along this same vein I've realized that some of the songs I thought would motivate and got put in the "exercise" play list, only managed to tick my off by the time I got to them. Take for instance, Summertime by Kenny Chesney. Now, I LOVE that song. I put it on my play list and thought it would be a nice fun song to listen to. Well, one Saturday, I was out jogging around the neighborhood and I had a later start, so it was burning up outside. I was cursing the fact that there are no trees in the neighborhood and wondering what the cost would be to transplant full grown oaks in every yard along my run, when said song came on. All of a sudden, my fun song made me feel grumpier. Here Kenny is singing along all great about how the temperature says 93 down at the deposit and guarantee, but that swimming hole is nice and cold, and all I could think was "Buddy, I don't even know what I ever liked about this song...who thinks 93 degree weather is something to wax poetic about - obviously someone from North Dakota or somewhere super cold who doesn't even know what 93 degree weather feels like." Never mind that Kenny Chesney is from Tennessee, not North Dakota, and I'm not even sure who wrote the song, but I was not being reasonable. hahaha! On the other hand, one day I was struggling along and "Are You Ready For A Miracle" came blaring out. That pepped me right up. Plus, I got to laughing thinking about how me - running - is very close to a miracle.
Fourth, I've realized that I absolutely LOVE my Nike+ app, but I am so glad that I could change the voice from female to male. Now, this is where y'all are going to think I've lost my mind, but I'm okay with that. You see, the default on mine was set to a female voice and each time you reach certain milestones along your way the voice comes on to let you know where you are. All I could picture was some super skinny woman, who believes that two pieces of lettuce and an ounce of grilled chicken make a meal, who has been running since she was 9 months old, running backwards in front of me, not even breaking a sweat, beckoning me to run faster. All the while, I only want to catch up to her so I can kick her. Did I mention that y'all might think I was crazy? So, I changed it to the male voice. Now, in my head, this guy is just as fit as the female, but he's more comfortable in his own skin, so instead of running backwards in front of me, I picture some guy sitting in a lawn chair - feet up on a Gatorade water cooler - just waiting for me to run by and encourage me and he somehow magically appears at all the milestones along the run. Crazy? Maybe. However, it's working for me. haha!
Fifth, I've realized that I think about my feet more than ever. No, really, it's true. I am constantly concerned with my feet. I bought new shoes for work and boy, they are unattractive, but they are comfortable. I'm about to stop gifting myself with pedicures as weight loss celebrations and come up with a new gift. I just don't want anything to happen to my feet. Let's be real - nothing will throw your plan of quicker than sore feet. So, I am doing everything I can do make sure I'm good to my feet. I'm almost obsessive about it. I did go get a pedicure a couple of weeks back and I found myself more uptight than relaxed when it came time for them to exfoliate and when they brought out the clippers, I really felt like this wasn't a good idea. So, there will probably be no wearing of any of the 4" heels I own between now and then. Probably no wearing of cute shoes at all. Boo. Someone needs to design shoes that are both cute and comfortable. Really people....we either have one or the other. It's time for someone to come through for me on this.
Since this could go on and on, I'll close with this. I've realized that the vast majority of people who hear I'm training to do a half marathon will say "I could NEVER do that...I can't even run to the mailbox, or kitchen, or fill in the blank with some ridiculously short distance". I think "I know y'all are looking at me and are not seeing a runner's body here." I then tell them "Yeah, you could. You just have to make up your mind that you are going to do it and then start." Sure, there are people who legitimately cannot do the half marathon because of physical limitations, but most people could do it with a bit of mental strength. I saw a bumper sticker and this person was a marathon runner. How did I know that? Well, because they proudly had stickers all over their mom van. Anyways, this sticker said "It's not amazing that I finished - what's amazing is that I had the courage to start." There is a ton of truth to that. Isn't that how it is with most things in life?
And just in case you're wondering.....when I complete those 13.1 miles, there is a good chance I'm going to have every single piece of clothing I own monogrammed with 13.1. Seriously. Forget just putting a magnetic sticker on my car - I'm going to go all out. Who knows - I might get a gigantic 13.1 tattoo. Okay, probably no tattoo. That might be a little much.
This is a beautiful life!
First off, I am actually able to run - okay, a very very very slow jog, for almost an hour. I am strictly staying on my running schedule, so I've only had to do 50 minutes so far, but still. I seriously NEVER thought I'd be able to continuously jog for that length of time in just 6 weeks of training - or EVER - for that matter. Y'all might be questioning how I signed up to do a half marathon thinking I wouldn't be able to run for at least an hour - knowing that a half marathon in 13.1 miles - but my goal was never to run the whole thing, only to finish....crawling if I had to. I tell people that I'm pretty certain if the neighbors are looking out the window they probably have to stare a few minutes to decipher if I'm running in place or actually going somewhere I'm moving so slow, but I'm still doing it! The goal is to not injure myself so I'm being careful to not push myself too far too soon. November is still awhile away.
Second, I've realized that Vain Inner Kim is silenced - at least temporarily. I rarely - okay, never - match when I walk out the door to train. I'm proudly wearing my scary running pants, dark purple sports bra, and lime green tank top. Y'all I even bought - okay I hesitate to say "fanny pack" - but it is a small fanny pack. It's just big enough to hold my cell phone and keys, but it is still a glorified runner's fanny pack. I strap that thing on each morning and then pretend like it's not there. The neighbors see me sweat soaked, running around, sometimes singing out loud, and I don't even care anymore. Of course, when Laura is with me, I still don't match, but the talking to myself and singing are out. ha!
Third, I've realized that while I must like every song on my iPod because I'm the one who bought all the music, I only like about one in every ten songs when it is on shuffle. No, seriously. I think the reason some of my long runs seem to go by fast is because I'm spending most of the time hitting the "forward" button my iPod to move to the next song. What is up with that? I've made an "exercise" play list, but let's be real, there are only so many times you can listen to the same songs OVER and OVER before you start to get grumpy.
Along this same vein I've realized that some of the songs I thought would motivate and got put in the "exercise" play list, only managed to tick my off by the time I got to them. Take for instance, Summertime by Kenny Chesney. Now, I LOVE that song. I put it on my play list and thought it would be a nice fun song to listen to. Well, one Saturday, I was out jogging around the neighborhood and I had a later start, so it was burning up outside. I was cursing the fact that there are no trees in the neighborhood and wondering what the cost would be to transplant full grown oaks in every yard along my run, when said song came on. All of a sudden, my fun song made me feel grumpier. Here Kenny is singing along all great about how the temperature says 93 down at the deposit and guarantee, but that swimming hole is nice and cold, and all I could think was "Buddy, I don't even know what I ever liked about this song...who thinks 93 degree weather is something to wax poetic about - obviously someone from North Dakota or somewhere super cold who doesn't even know what 93 degree weather feels like." Never mind that Kenny Chesney is from Tennessee, not North Dakota, and I'm not even sure who wrote the song, but I was not being reasonable. hahaha! On the other hand, one day I was struggling along and "Are You Ready For A Miracle" came blaring out. That pepped me right up. Plus, I got to laughing thinking about how me - running - is very close to a miracle.
Fourth, I've realized that I absolutely LOVE my Nike+ app, but I am so glad that I could change the voice from female to male. Now, this is where y'all are going to think I've lost my mind, but I'm okay with that. You see, the default on mine was set to a female voice and each time you reach certain milestones along your way the voice comes on to let you know where you are. All I could picture was some super skinny woman, who believes that two pieces of lettuce and an ounce of grilled chicken make a meal, who has been running since she was 9 months old, running backwards in front of me, not even breaking a sweat, beckoning me to run faster. All the while, I only want to catch up to her so I can kick her. Did I mention that y'all might think I was crazy? So, I changed it to the male voice. Now, in my head, this guy is just as fit as the female, but he's more comfortable in his own skin, so instead of running backwards in front of me, I picture some guy sitting in a lawn chair - feet up on a Gatorade water cooler - just waiting for me to run by and encourage me and he somehow magically appears at all the milestones along the run. Crazy? Maybe. However, it's working for me. haha!
Fifth, I've realized that I think about my feet more than ever. No, really, it's true. I am constantly concerned with my feet. I bought new shoes for work and boy, they are unattractive, but they are comfortable. I'm about to stop gifting myself with pedicures as weight loss celebrations and come up with a new gift. I just don't want anything to happen to my feet. Let's be real - nothing will throw your plan of quicker than sore feet. So, I am doing everything I can do make sure I'm good to my feet. I'm almost obsessive about it. I did go get a pedicure a couple of weeks back and I found myself more uptight than relaxed when it came time for them to exfoliate and when they brought out the clippers, I really felt like this wasn't a good idea. So, there will probably be no wearing of any of the 4" heels I own between now and then. Probably no wearing of cute shoes at all. Boo. Someone needs to design shoes that are both cute and comfortable. Really people....we either have one or the other. It's time for someone to come through for me on this.
Since this could go on and on, I'll close with this. I've realized that the vast majority of people who hear I'm training to do a half marathon will say "I could NEVER do that...I can't even run to the mailbox, or kitchen, or fill in the blank with some ridiculously short distance". I think "I know y'all are looking at me and are not seeing a runner's body here." I then tell them "Yeah, you could. You just have to make up your mind that you are going to do it and then start." Sure, there are people who legitimately cannot do the half marathon because of physical limitations, but most people could do it with a bit of mental strength. I saw a bumper sticker and this person was a marathon runner. How did I know that? Well, because they proudly had stickers all over their mom van. Anyways, this sticker said "It's not amazing that I finished - what's amazing is that I had the courage to start." There is a ton of truth to that. Isn't that how it is with most things in life?
And just in case you're wondering.....when I complete those 13.1 miles, there is a good chance I'm going to have every single piece of clothing I own monogrammed with 13.1. Seriously. Forget just putting a magnetic sticker on my car - I'm going to go all out. Who knows - I might get a gigantic 13.1 tattoo. Okay, probably no tattoo. That might be a little much.
This is a beautiful life!
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Get Your Run On...
Lately, I've had an old blog post on my mind. Sometimes I blog because I think that maybe - just maybe - if someone stumbled across this they might read something that would encourage them where they are. However, I also blog just for myself. It's a stress reliever, an outlet, a way to remember some of my past journeys - a story, written in my own words, which I sometimes come back to just to reflect on where I've been, where I am, and where I'm going.
So, even though this post was originally written in the Fall, and it certainly is not Fall-like weather outside, I wanted to share this again. Pretty appropriate that with all the running I've been doing lately training for the half marathon I would be thinking of an old post about running.
I hope you enjoy....and although it was 100 degrees outside today, I still look forward to going out and running tomorrow. =)
Originally Posted October 20, 2008
Okay, so I know I tend to blog a lot about the same things...however, I guess it's just me. Maybe that means God is trying to tell me something and apparently He feels the need to tell me over and over because I'm a little thick headed. In turn, I share it with y'all.
Tonight, I decided to run down the road for something...not literally, but in the car. It was right before the sun was starting to set, and as I headed out I couldn't help but notice just how beautiful it was outside. It just felt clean. I ran my errand, and headed back west - right into the beautiful sunset. I felt like I could drive forever - and just watch the sun go down. It was a sky filled with colors that really have no names...hard to describe because words like, pink, orange, red, with a hint of blue, just don't seem to describe the majestic painting that was there for all to see. Once again...Fall is here.
This is my probably my favorite time of year to run. The air feels clean and crisp, and after months of feeling like you are breathing under water with all the humidity, you really appreciate the change. It's like one day it is 97 degrees with 98% humidity, and the next it is a nice 80 without humidity.
On my drive tonight I once again began to think about how we are all running. We are either running from something or to something, and sometimes we are doing both.
Sometimes we lace up our shoes and just start running trying to outrun ourselves, or someone else, and we have no destination in mind - just running to get away. We run until we can't breathe, until our legs are jelly, until there is no thought but just putting one foot in front of the other and moving. We run so that we don't have to think. We get up, go to work, go through the motions, compartmentalize, run home, do all of our errands, and run until exhausted, we fall asleep - or not. Even then, we are running to something. However, because we are running blindly, we are not creating our destiny, but desperately just trying to stay out of the pot holes, briars, or ditches that come up. We have our heads down, blinders on, and just can't seem to stop for fear that the stray dog that is chasing us just might catch up. We know that if we stop, we are through. We are running out of desperation.
Then there are the times when we lace up, map out our plan, strap on the iPod, drink some water, open the door to a new day, and begin a run that will put us on the path to fulfilling God's greatness in our life. We say a prayer, we put our faith in Him, and we set out. We start at a nice jog, breathe in the fresh clean air, feel our muscles start to kick in, and realize that this will be a fantastic run. We look at the obstacles around us - the pot holes, briars, ditches, stray dogs - and see them for what they really are - just a test for our strength. We look around and see the wondrous mercies that have been afforded us. We take in the scenery. We pick up the pace, wave to the neighbors, run with our head held high, run until our legs start to feel stronger, until our lungs are filled with praise, until our heart starts to beat with His. We run until we realize that while we might have mapped out a plan, He has a greater one. He has a plan that might not lead us where we thought - as a matter of fact, it probably won't - yet, we look around and can see that you are right where you are supposed to be. We are running out of praise, out of love, out of thankfulness, out of excitement for the future.
I have been in both pairs of shoes...on both paths. I ran out of desperation. I ran until I realized that unless I am running out of love, I'm not going to be able to complete the course. I ran until, exhausted, I finally decided that nothing, not even the pot holes, briars, and dogs, could be worse than that feeling. Nothing could be worse than always trying to run faster - and not being able to outrun the true reason I felt couldn't stop - because no matter how fast I ran, I couldn't outrun myself. I woke up and realized that I was so tangled up in everything, that I was really running in place, like on a treadmill, and it would never end. I took off the blinders, looked around, and promptly broke down.
Then thankfully, I began to run again. I began to move in a new way, with new thoughts, with new beginnings. I stepped off the treadmill, and hit the road. I gave it over, and now I no longer run alone. I always have Him there to guide me. I have Him to run ahead, check out the path, and tell me how to proceed. Now, do I always go with the plan? I would like to say, yes, however, sometimes I forget that I don't have to do it on my own. You know what, though? As soon as I come back to my senses, He is still there waiting. Always waiting for me. Always reminding me that the path ahead will lead to His plan. Always telling me that even when it's raining, when the mosquitoes are out, when the sun is so hot it is almost like the pavement is melting, when the path is bumpy, He is right there.
So, tonight, I am thankful. I'm thankful for this beautiful weather, thankful for this beautiful life. I am most thankful for His plan for my life. I am ready to put on my running shoes and continue to run into my destiny. The one that is created just for me - not out of desperation, but out of love. I am thankful that I don't have to do it on my own, because truly I am not that strong.
I hope y'all have a wonderful night! I am so looking forward to literally putting on my running shoes tomorrow, and taking it outside! Woo hoo!
So, even though this post was originally written in the Fall, and it certainly is not Fall-like weather outside, I wanted to share this again. Pretty appropriate that with all the running I've been doing lately training for the half marathon I would be thinking of an old post about running.
I hope you enjoy....and although it was 100 degrees outside today, I still look forward to going out and running tomorrow. =)
Originally Posted October 20, 2008
Okay, so I know I tend to blog a lot about the same things...however, I guess it's just me. Maybe that means God is trying to tell me something and apparently He feels the need to tell me over and over because I'm a little thick headed. In turn, I share it with y'all.
Tonight, I decided to run down the road for something...not literally, but in the car. It was right before the sun was starting to set, and as I headed out I couldn't help but notice just how beautiful it was outside. It just felt clean. I ran my errand, and headed back west - right into the beautiful sunset. I felt like I could drive forever - and just watch the sun go down. It was a sky filled with colors that really have no names...hard to describe because words like, pink, orange, red, with a hint of blue, just don't seem to describe the majestic painting that was there for all to see. Once again...Fall is here.
This is my probably my favorite time of year to run. The air feels clean and crisp, and after months of feeling like you are breathing under water with all the humidity, you really appreciate the change. It's like one day it is 97 degrees with 98% humidity, and the next it is a nice 80 without humidity.
On my drive tonight I once again began to think about how we are all running. We are either running from something or to something, and sometimes we are doing both.
Sometimes we lace up our shoes and just start running trying to outrun ourselves, or someone else, and we have no destination in mind - just running to get away. We run until we can't breathe, until our legs are jelly, until there is no thought but just putting one foot in front of the other and moving. We run so that we don't have to think. We get up, go to work, go through the motions, compartmentalize, run home, do all of our errands, and run until exhausted, we fall asleep - or not. Even then, we are running to something. However, because we are running blindly, we are not creating our destiny, but desperately just trying to stay out of the pot holes, briars, or ditches that come up. We have our heads down, blinders on, and just can't seem to stop for fear that the stray dog that is chasing us just might catch up. We know that if we stop, we are through. We are running out of desperation.
Then there are the times when we lace up, map out our plan, strap on the iPod, drink some water, open the door to a new day, and begin a run that will put us on the path to fulfilling God's greatness in our life. We say a prayer, we put our faith in Him, and we set out. We start at a nice jog, breathe in the fresh clean air, feel our muscles start to kick in, and realize that this will be a fantastic run. We look at the obstacles around us - the pot holes, briars, ditches, stray dogs - and see them for what they really are - just a test for our strength. We look around and see the wondrous mercies that have been afforded us. We take in the scenery. We pick up the pace, wave to the neighbors, run with our head held high, run until our legs start to feel stronger, until our lungs are filled with praise, until our heart starts to beat with His. We run until we realize that while we might have mapped out a plan, He has a greater one. He has a plan that might not lead us where we thought - as a matter of fact, it probably won't - yet, we look around and can see that you are right where you are supposed to be. We are running out of praise, out of love, out of thankfulness, out of excitement for the future.
I have been in both pairs of shoes...on both paths. I ran out of desperation. I ran until I realized that unless I am running out of love, I'm not going to be able to complete the course. I ran until, exhausted, I finally decided that nothing, not even the pot holes, briars, and dogs, could be worse than that feeling. Nothing could be worse than always trying to run faster - and not being able to outrun the true reason I felt couldn't stop - because no matter how fast I ran, I couldn't outrun myself. I woke up and realized that I was so tangled up in everything, that I was really running in place, like on a treadmill, and it would never end. I took off the blinders, looked around, and promptly broke down.
Then thankfully, I began to run again. I began to move in a new way, with new thoughts, with new beginnings. I stepped off the treadmill, and hit the road. I gave it over, and now I no longer run alone. I always have Him there to guide me. I have Him to run ahead, check out the path, and tell me how to proceed. Now, do I always go with the plan? I would like to say, yes, however, sometimes I forget that I don't have to do it on my own. You know what, though? As soon as I come back to my senses, He is still there waiting. Always waiting for me. Always reminding me that the path ahead will lead to His plan. Always telling me that even when it's raining, when the mosquitoes are out, when the sun is so hot it is almost like the pavement is melting, when the path is bumpy, He is right there.
So, tonight, I am thankful. I'm thankful for this beautiful weather, thankful for this beautiful life. I am most thankful for His plan for my life. I am ready to put on my running shoes and continue to run into my destiny. The one that is created just for me - not out of desperation, but out of love. I am thankful that I don't have to do it on my own, because truly I am not that strong.
I hope y'all have a wonderful night! I am so looking forward to literally putting on my running shoes tomorrow, and taking it outside! Woo hoo!
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