Relaxing is something you would think comes naturally. I mean, how hard is it to come home, change clothes, and lie on the couch for a while? That's relaxing, right? Not if you're me. You see, I've come to the conclusion that I have a very hard time turning my mind off. I might be sitting on the couch, but I'm thinking about my budget, what's for dinner tomorrow night, an email I need to send, if cat food is on sale, if JD finished his homework, what time I need to get on the treadmill, am I going to actually get some sleep tonight...okay, I think you're seeing the point.
I have always thought of myself as someone who is able to multi-task and handle stress like a pro (on very little sleep - I might add). However, I learned the hard way this week that is not necessarily true. Or, even if it is, you can't maintain it forever.
Wednesday morning started like most of my mornings the last three weeks - out the door early, so I could be out with some of our field employees when they got to work (which is generally 6 a.m.). I drove out to Milton, collected some paper work from employees, drove back downtown and was at my desk working by 8:30 or 9:00. On the outside I looked okay, but on the inside I had been hiding a secret.
The weather was absolutely horrible Wednesday, so Bill, Mallory, and I decided to go downstairs to the restaurant in our building for lunch. As we are sitting there - it happens. I had a sharp chest pain to the point that I could not hide it from them that something was wrong. My chest hurt, I was suddenly out of breath and felt light headed. After trying in vain to assure them that everything was okay. I finally spilled the beans. Much to my friends' horror, I explained to them that I had been having a weird pressure feeling in my chest for over two weeks and that on Tuesday night, I started having sharp chest pains. When asked why I hadn't said anything I calmly explained that I didn't want people to think I was stupid, overreacting, or just being a wuss. After all, I'm only 31. I'm too young to have heart problems, right? Okay - we all know that was just lame talk.
Needless to say, both of them were pretty upset. It came down to the fact that I needed to call our nurse or I'm sure one of them was going to take care of that for me. I call the nurse, and of course, she advises that I go to the ER for treatment. Well, for those of you who don't know, my friend, Laura, is over the surgical unit for Baptist hospital, so I called her and explained that I would be coming down.
When I get to the ER, they take my blood pressure and the machine starts making funny noises. The nurse asks how long I've had high blood pressure, to which I answered, never. Never have I had the slightest issue with my blood pressure. I was just at the doctor on February 14th and it was fine. Well, it wasn't fine now. It was 197/99. We took it again. It was 200/100. We took it again. It was 199/100. At this point, I no longer feel stupid for being there, just foolish for not having told someone sooner.
After an EKG, blood work (which they couldn't find my veins so I was stuck 5 or 6 times before they were able to get a sample), being monitored for several hours, etc...the doctor came to this conclusion: I have got to relax. Seriously. He gave me something to lower my blood pressure and told me that I really need to get some rest, and relax.
So, that is my new goal for 2011. I will find a way to relax. I will learn how to turn my mind off. I will start taking care of myself and not denying that I have a problem. The truth is that if one of my friends told me they had been feeling the way I was for over two weeks, I would have been TICKED! They would not have been able to come up with an excuse good enough to explain why they hadn't said something. So, I will learn how to take better care of myself. The same type care I expect my family and friends to be taking with themselves.
On that note - I bowed out of the McGuire's 5k tomorrow. Not because I don't want to do it, but because I really need to get some rest. I plan on hanging out with JD all day, watching movies, taking naps, playing Wii, almost anything but work. As a matter of fact, it's only 9:30 now, but there's a great chance I'm going to get in bed in about 15 minutes. =)
This is a beautiful life. I don't ever want to have to go through what I did on Wednesday again. I might have finally scared myself into learning how to take it down a notch.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Open House...
When I hear the words "open house" I'm always taken back to that time in Fall when as a child, parents would come to the school, look through your desk or locker, talk about how embarrassed they were because your desk seemed to be the least organized (when truthfully the teacher had you clean it out that day, so it looked a ton better than it had the day before - total bummer the parents thought it looked bad...ha!), look at your art work, hear how wonderful of a student you were - even if you did talk a little too much (okay, a LOT too much), and you would get to show them around the room or school with excitement. FYI - I think Open House is way more fun for the kids than it is for the parent or teachers.
Okay, that was random, because that is not quite where this blog is headed....ha!
Tonight, I hosted my first small group. For those of you unfamiliar with a small group, it's basically a group of people coming together to share life - because it can be hard to connect with folks if you go to a larger church. I've said for a while that when we moved, I would host a small group, and well, now is that time.
I actually felt nervous about the whole thing....to open up your house, invite people in, and then hope they get something out of the experience - connect on a level that makes them want to come back. It's like going on a blind date. =) You know you obviously have some things in common or you wouldn't be there, but are those things going to be enough to make you ask for a second go round.
However, somewhere in all those random thoughts, I had this one: "I want to have an open house". Not the kind where people come to see what you've accomplished, or marvel at how much junk you can shove in one desk, but where people feel welcome. Not only do I want to a have physical open house - where you can come in, relax, feel at peace, and make yourself at home, but I want my heart to be an open house. I want a heart that is open to people, vulnerable in relationships, and willing to share my experiences in hopes of being able to help someone else along the way and in turn receive encouragement and strength from their experiences. So, that is the approach I've decided to take. I decided it was best just to be the real Kim. After all, just like to have friends you must show yourself friendly - I believe that people will be able to tell if you're asking them to be open with you and yet holding back from them.
Tonight, as I get ready to go to bed, I am excited to see what the future holds. I look forward to an open house....with great anticipation. Excepting great things.
This is a beautiful life.
Okay, that was random, because that is not quite where this blog is headed....ha!
Tonight, I hosted my first small group. For those of you unfamiliar with a small group, it's basically a group of people coming together to share life - because it can be hard to connect with folks if you go to a larger church. I've said for a while that when we moved, I would host a small group, and well, now is that time.
I actually felt nervous about the whole thing....to open up your house, invite people in, and then hope they get something out of the experience - connect on a level that makes them want to come back. It's like going on a blind date. =) You know you obviously have some things in common or you wouldn't be there, but are those things going to be enough to make you ask for a second go round.
However, somewhere in all those random thoughts, I had this one: "I want to have an open house". Not the kind where people come to see what you've accomplished, or marvel at how much junk you can shove in one desk, but where people feel welcome. Not only do I want to a have physical open house - where you can come in, relax, feel at peace, and make yourself at home, but I want my heart to be an open house. I want a heart that is open to people, vulnerable in relationships, and willing to share my experiences in hopes of being able to help someone else along the way and in turn receive encouragement and strength from their experiences. So, that is the approach I've decided to take. I decided it was best just to be the real Kim. After all, just like to have friends you must show yourself friendly - I believe that people will be able to tell if you're asking them to be open with you and yet holding back from them.
Tonight, as I get ready to go to bed, I am excited to see what the future holds. I look forward to an open house....with great anticipation. Excepting great things.
This is a beautiful life.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Who Am I?
It's 4:30 on Sunday morning, and I am wide awake. Not only am I wide awake, but I have been so since 2:15. Why, you ask? Well, I have yet to figure that one out. As it usually happens when I wake up so early, I lie in bed for a little while and then start coming up with ideas of things I could do....Nair my legs, exercise, pay bills, go to Wal-Mart, paint my nails, check out my Facebook page, read, blog, pluck my eyebrows...you name it - I've probably gotten up to do it in the middle of the night. This time, I decided to go to Twitter and try to figure it out. After all, I set up an account over a year ago, but have yet to figure out how to use the darn thing. Truthfully, I've never really tried.
As any of you who have a Twitter account know, they have a character limit on updates....which is a dilemma for me. Because as any of you who know me know, while I was given the gift of communication (yeah, I know it might not be a gift, but I'm claiming it), I was not given, or maybe I just haven't developed, the art of succinct communication. When I see a place to update your profile and tell about yourself in 160 characters or less...I'm at a complete loss.
I sat there staring at the blank space wondering what 160 characters I would use to sum up who I am, and come up with absolutely nothing. Not one word - witty or otherwise to describe myself. I think I was too focused on not going over the limit, so I decided to just think about anything that describes me, my life experience, etc....
As I sat there thinking of the words that would describe me, I realized, that if I had to write down what others might use to describe me, I probably wouldn't look like much. You know what though? It's more important what He uses to describe me. Let's be real....I'd so much rather use that assessment than my own or that of anyone else.
So who am I?
In Him, I am not the sum of my life situations, circumstances, failures, short comings, or missed opportunities, but so much more. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, called with a story of my own, created in His likeness for a purpose much greater than I am or could ever hope to be on my own. I am strong in Him, triumphant, and free to be me.
At the end of the day (or morning - since it's just after 5), my Twitter profile says this about me:
Jesus follower, mother, sister, friend, and thankfully, through Him, more than what I would look like on paper.
And guess what? I still had 49 characters left to use...maybe I am getting better at using fewer words after all. Okay, probably not. =)
As any of you who have a Twitter account know, they have a character limit on updates....which is a dilemma for me. Because as any of you who know me know, while I was given the gift of communication (yeah, I know it might not be a gift, but I'm claiming it), I was not given, or maybe I just haven't developed, the art of succinct communication. When I see a place to update your profile and tell about yourself in 160 characters or less...I'm at a complete loss.
I sat there staring at the blank space wondering what 160 characters I would use to sum up who I am, and come up with absolutely nothing. Not one word - witty or otherwise to describe myself. I think I was too focused on not going over the limit, so I decided to just think about anything that describes me, my life experience, etc....
As I sat there thinking of the words that would describe me, I realized, that if I had to write down what others might use to describe me, I probably wouldn't look like much. You know what though? It's more important what He uses to describe me. Let's be real....I'd so much rather use that assessment than my own or that of anyone else.
So who am I?
In Him, I am not the sum of my life situations, circumstances, failures, short comings, or missed opportunities, but so much more. I am fearfully and wonderfully made, called with a story of my own, created in His likeness for a purpose much greater than I am or could ever hope to be on my own. I am strong in Him, triumphant, and free to be me.
At the end of the day (or morning - since it's just after 5), my Twitter profile says this about me:
Jesus follower, mother, sister, friend, and thankfully, through Him, more than what I would look like on paper.
And guess what? I still had 49 characters left to use...maybe I am getting better at using fewer words after all. Okay, probably not. =)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
New Year - New Resolutions
I started writing this before New Year's, but as usual, I'm best when I procrastinate.....hahahahaha! Maybe I should make that a new goal. Okay, probably not.
Well, it's that time of year again. You know, the time I sit down, think about where I am, where I want to be, and promptly come up with some off the wall plan on how I'm going to get there.
Okay, so I'm taking a different approach to my resolutions this year. Instead of saying I'm gonna lose more weight than the total body weight of a small child, save more money than I make in two years, or read my Bible through three times, I'm going to be realistic in my approach. Here we go:
1. Spend more quality time reading my Bible or doing my devotionals than I do now. I'm not saying I'm going to read more necessarily, but focus more on what I'm reading. It's not a contest. I don't think there's a point system that says "Wow, Kim read 4 chapters tonight and Suzie only read 2. Kim's clearly the winner". =)
2. Whether I lose a single pound or not, I will exercise more. I love boot camp class - okay, so not while I'm in it, but shortly after we're done - and I intend to pick up an interval running class as well. Once again - it's not a competition, but it's about me feeling like I'm doing something better for my overall health.
3. Have people over more often. I want to cook dinner for friends and family and just enjoy sharing life together in a real way. No pretenses, no expectations - just good company sharing good times.
4. Make a cleaning/yard schedule and stay on it - not at the expense of missing out with the people in my life, but so that we are able to spend more time relaxing in the end. I believe that being on a schedule actually frees you up to do other things.
5. Find ways to give back to my community - and get about proactively accomplishing that. After all, who doesn't feel better after giving back to someone with no thought for what you might get in return. There are plenty of people in need - and not just financially - and I might be the person who has something to offer them. To be honest, it will probably be a time or volunteer commitment over a monetary one, but that can be as valuable as money sometimes.
6. Last, but not least, take the time to really tell those around me how much they mean to me. After all, if I lost all the weight, cleaned the house top to bottom every single day, and helped all the needy people in Pensacola, but didn't appreciate the people in my life, I would have failed.
This is our one shot - one opportunity. I want to wake up each morning expecting to make a difference where I am, who I am, and with what talents I naturally have to offer, in some one's life.
Well, it's that time of year again. You know, the time I sit down, think about where I am, where I want to be, and promptly come up with some off the wall plan on how I'm going to get there.
Okay, so I'm taking a different approach to my resolutions this year. Instead of saying I'm gonna lose more weight than the total body weight of a small child, save more money than I make in two years, or read my Bible through three times, I'm going to be realistic in my approach. Here we go:
1. Spend more quality time reading my Bible or doing my devotionals than I do now. I'm not saying I'm going to read more necessarily, but focus more on what I'm reading. It's not a contest. I don't think there's a point system that says "Wow, Kim read 4 chapters tonight and Suzie only read 2. Kim's clearly the winner". =)
2. Whether I lose a single pound or not, I will exercise more. I love boot camp class - okay, so not while I'm in it, but shortly after we're done - and I intend to pick up an interval running class as well. Once again - it's not a competition, but it's about me feeling like I'm doing something better for my overall health.
3. Have people over more often. I want to cook dinner for friends and family and just enjoy sharing life together in a real way. No pretenses, no expectations - just good company sharing good times.
4. Make a cleaning/yard schedule and stay on it - not at the expense of missing out with the people in my life, but so that we are able to spend more time relaxing in the end. I believe that being on a schedule actually frees you up to do other things.
5. Find ways to give back to my community - and get about proactively accomplishing that. After all, who doesn't feel better after giving back to someone with no thought for what you might get in return. There are plenty of people in need - and not just financially - and I might be the person who has something to offer them. To be honest, it will probably be a time or volunteer commitment over a monetary one, but that can be as valuable as money sometimes.
6. Last, but not least, take the time to really tell those around me how much they mean to me. After all, if I lost all the weight, cleaned the house top to bottom every single day, and helped all the needy people in Pensacola, but didn't appreciate the people in my life, I would have failed.
This is our one shot - one opportunity. I want to wake up each morning expecting to make a difference where I am, who I am, and with what talents I naturally have to offer, in some one's life.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Let's Put It In Perspective...
I'm sitting here on the couch, looking at boxes stacked around me, the cats sleeping - one on the couch, one on the floor - watching the First 48 on A&E, and trying to will away a nervous stomach.
See, here's what happens in Kim's World...I make a plan, I try to stick to the plan, I get my ducks in a row, and then I stress out when the plan doesn't go quite as I planned. Really if you know me, that doesn't surprise you. It's one of my only faults. ha! I've said it before and I'll say it again - I must actually think that I can control all the circumstances. I mean - don't you know - my plan is the one to stick with? Which reminded me that sometimes some of the best things in life happen outside of my plan.
You see, 7 years ago I was a stay at home mom - pretty much living the only life I had ever imagined and really ever wanted to imagine. I loved being home with JD, being a homemaker, and never wanted anything outside of that. Little did I know that less than three weeks later I would be going through a divorce, feeling like my entire world was turned upside down and wondering how in the world I was going to make it on my own. I was working night shift at Waffle House - and for those of you wondering if you make good money at Waffle House - you might, but not if you're working the one behind Winn Dixie on Blue Angel Parkway. ha! To say I was struggling, would put it mildly. Not just struggling financially, but emotionally, and any other way you could imagine. I put a brave face on, smiled when I had to, cried when nobody was looking, held onto JD for all I was worth, and did some serious talking with God. I mean I pretty much told Him how I felt about everything - and it wasn't all good, but it was honest. I felt let down, heartbroken, disillusioned, angry, sad, old, overwhelmed, - but never never did I feel hopeless. I felt cautiously optimistic at times, even excited to see how this would all play out, at others. I realized that divorce was not the hardest thing I had ever been through, and that just like I got through the other, I could make it through this. I just really didn't know how. I would cook Ramen or hot dogs when JD was with his dad so I could afford to make a "real" meal when he was with me. I would lie awake at night and worry, and worry, and then worry more. This was DEFINITELY NOT my plan.
However, almost 7 years later, it is amazing to see the process this has been. I worked at Waffle House, where I met several people who worked at the Oyster Bar on Perdido Key, who encouraged me to get a job there. I was hired the day I applied. I then got a second job working at Baptist Hospital, where I met a doctor, who would in turn put me in touch with a lady named Patricia Breeland, who would give me an opportunity to start with the Andrews Institute after Hurricane Ivan destroyed the Oyster Bar. From there, I left Liberty Church Blue Angel campus to help start North Campus, where I met Heather Slane, who would put me in touch with a job where I was an Executive Assistant for a lady with a local company - and through that experience, I had the skills and the confidence to apply for the job that I have been at for almost four years.
The day I moved into this apartment, it was cold, dreary and I was just so sad. It was my first time staying by myself overnight. Seriously. Ever. I was almost 25 and had never stayed in a house by myself overnight. This week, when we leave this apartment, it will almost seem like a lifetime ago. In some ways it is. In the past seven years, I've cried a lot, laughed even more than I cried, watched my son grow into almost a teenager, learned how to be a working mom, and who Kim really is. I have made new friends, lost a great friend to cancer, become closer to my sisters than I could have ever imagined, met people who have changed my life, learned how to bake a pretty awesome (if I do say so myself) carrot cake, focused on what was best for my child - not always what was easiest for me. I have discovered that I can say no. I can think for myself. I can state my opinion. I have kind of become a bit of a book hoarder - evidenced by the fact that I overwhelmed the Goodwill guy tonight will all the books I gave away. ha! I had added to the fine lines on my face, fallen down the stairs (literally) five times, and fixed my own toilet (yes, I'll be proud of that until the day I die). Most importantly, I realized that I can still love with all my heart.
After Hurricane Ivan, I can remember driving around and looking at houses and feeling so sad thinking that I would not be able to afford a house for me and JD. Housing prices were through the roof and I was still barely making it. So, if I seem a little emotional, excited, or just plain out crazy over the fact that we will be closing on a house this week, please know it really is just because this day seemed almost impossible to me not too very long ago. I am sure I will cry when we close. Heck, to be honest, I am crying now. Not because I am sad, but because I am so absolutely overwhelmed with thankfulness at how a plan that was not my plan is turning out. It's turning out to be a plan I could have never imagined - and I'm so thankful that my plan isn't always the one that is followed.
In closing - here are a few, very superficial, things I'm looking forward to about living in our house - not necessarily in order:
1. Being able to play Just Dance without worrying if the downstairs neighbors are going to get ticked off at us jumping around. Heck, we're gonna stay up until Midnight and jump rope in the house on the first night - just because we can.
2. Not having to take the trash down the stairs, to the car, to the dumpster - which never fails is always overflowing with yucky trash.
3. Getting to park in the garage - and not having to wait for the car to defrost to leave the house.
4. Not having people leave trash, half eaten pizzas, or rotten Jack O'Lanterns on our front doorstep.
5. Not having to carry 40 pounds of cat litter upstairs - cause y'all know I like to buy in bulk.
6. A nice large pantry to free up some space in my kitchen cabinets.
7. Neighbors to get to know - and a neighborhood to walk in.
Okay, this list is getting long, so I think y'all get the point. This could go on all night. ha!
This is an amazingly beautiful life, and I'm thankful for this opportunity.
See, here's what happens in Kim's World...I make a plan, I try to stick to the plan, I get my ducks in a row, and then I stress out when the plan doesn't go quite as I planned. Really if you know me, that doesn't surprise you. It's one of my only faults. ha! I've said it before and I'll say it again - I must actually think that I can control all the circumstances. I mean - don't you know - my plan is the one to stick with? Which reminded me that sometimes some of the best things in life happen outside of my plan.
You see, 7 years ago I was a stay at home mom - pretty much living the only life I had ever imagined and really ever wanted to imagine. I loved being home with JD, being a homemaker, and never wanted anything outside of that. Little did I know that less than three weeks later I would be going through a divorce, feeling like my entire world was turned upside down and wondering how in the world I was going to make it on my own. I was working night shift at Waffle House - and for those of you wondering if you make good money at Waffle House - you might, but not if you're working the one behind Winn Dixie on Blue Angel Parkway. ha! To say I was struggling, would put it mildly. Not just struggling financially, but emotionally, and any other way you could imagine. I put a brave face on, smiled when I had to, cried when nobody was looking, held onto JD for all I was worth, and did some serious talking with God. I mean I pretty much told Him how I felt about everything - and it wasn't all good, but it was honest. I felt let down, heartbroken, disillusioned, angry, sad, old, overwhelmed, - but never never did I feel hopeless. I felt cautiously optimistic at times, even excited to see how this would all play out, at others. I realized that divorce was not the hardest thing I had ever been through, and that just like I got through the other, I could make it through this. I just really didn't know how. I would cook Ramen or hot dogs when JD was with his dad so I could afford to make a "real" meal when he was with me. I would lie awake at night and worry, and worry, and then worry more. This was DEFINITELY NOT my plan.
However, almost 7 years later, it is amazing to see the process this has been. I worked at Waffle House, where I met several people who worked at the Oyster Bar on Perdido Key, who encouraged me to get a job there. I was hired the day I applied. I then got a second job working at Baptist Hospital, where I met a doctor, who would in turn put me in touch with a lady named Patricia Breeland, who would give me an opportunity to start with the Andrews Institute after Hurricane Ivan destroyed the Oyster Bar. From there, I left Liberty Church Blue Angel campus to help start North Campus, where I met Heather Slane, who would put me in touch with a job where I was an Executive Assistant for a lady with a local company - and through that experience, I had the skills and the confidence to apply for the job that I have been at for almost four years.
The day I moved into this apartment, it was cold, dreary and I was just so sad. It was my first time staying by myself overnight. Seriously. Ever. I was almost 25 and had never stayed in a house by myself overnight. This week, when we leave this apartment, it will almost seem like a lifetime ago. In some ways it is. In the past seven years, I've cried a lot, laughed even more than I cried, watched my son grow into almost a teenager, learned how to be a working mom, and who Kim really is. I have made new friends, lost a great friend to cancer, become closer to my sisters than I could have ever imagined, met people who have changed my life, learned how to bake a pretty awesome (if I do say so myself) carrot cake, focused on what was best for my child - not always what was easiest for me. I have discovered that I can say no. I can think for myself. I can state my opinion. I have kind of become a bit of a book hoarder - evidenced by the fact that I overwhelmed the Goodwill guy tonight will all the books I gave away. ha! I had added to the fine lines on my face, fallen down the stairs (literally) five times, and fixed my own toilet (yes, I'll be proud of that until the day I die). Most importantly, I realized that I can still love with all my heart.
After Hurricane Ivan, I can remember driving around and looking at houses and feeling so sad thinking that I would not be able to afford a house for me and JD. Housing prices were through the roof and I was still barely making it. So, if I seem a little emotional, excited, or just plain out crazy over the fact that we will be closing on a house this week, please know it really is just because this day seemed almost impossible to me not too very long ago. I am sure I will cry when we close. Heck, to be honest, I am crying now. Not because I am sad, but because I am so absolutely overwhelmed with thankfulness at how a plan that was not my plan is turning out. It's turning out to be a plan I could have never imagined - and I'm so thankful that my plan isn't always the one that is followed.
In closing - here are a few, very superficial, things I'm looking forward to about living in our house - not necessarily in order:
1. Being able to play Just Dance without worrying if the downstairs neighbors are going to get ticked off at us jumping around. Heck, we're gonna stay up until Midnight and jump rope in the house on the first night - just because we can.
2. Not having to take the trash down the stairs, to the car, to the dumpster - which never fails is always overflowing with yucky trash.
3. Getting to park in the garage - and not having to wait for the car to defrost to leave the house.
4. Not having people leave trash, half eaten pizzas, or rotten Jack O'Lanterns on our front doorstep.
5. Not having to carry 40 pounds of cat litter upstairs - cause y'all know I like to buy in bulk.
6. A nice large pantry to free up some space in my kitchen cabinets.
7. Neighbors to get to know - and a neighborhood to walk in.
Okay, this list is getting long, so I think y'all get the point. This could go on all night. ha!
This is an amazingly beautiful life, and I'm thankful for this opportunity.
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Questions...
Almost every year at this time, I write a blog about my mom - only fitting, since yesterday was her birthday. Maybe it is because I am getting older, and know there are some things I will always wonder about, but I find myself wishing I could sit down with her as an adult and ask her certain questions. Here are some of the ones I would ask:
What do you think of how we all are turning out? Can you believe that Zachary is old enough to be in the military? What was it like growing up and have a birthday one day apart from Uncle Ernie? What was it like to have five kids by the time you were the age I am now? If you could travel any place in the world, where would it be? When people say we look alike - especially our mannerisms - do you see it? What is the real name for the "pink stuff" dessert we used to eat at Thanksgiving - nobody can seem to remember.
I would sit down and tell her that she was a mother to some of the strongest people I know. I would tell her how I'm amazed that I'm old enough to have a son taller than I am. I would share with her the heartache that went with getting divorced, the confidence that came from making it on my own, and the absolute excitement at building not just a house, but a home for me and JD. I would tell her how thankful I am that Mae-Beth has found Scott and they are going to start a beautiful life together. How he fits right in and made lumpia to add to our Thanksgiving meal. I would tell her how we all know we will cry when we see Maebs in her wedding dress - and we'll be laughing about all of us crying.
If you are fortunate to have your mother into adulthood, I would suggest getting to know her - not just as your mom, but as a person. As someone who has hopes, dreams, thoughts, hurts, disappointments, triumphs, and trials. There might come a time when you wonder about some of these things, but won't have the opportunity ask...
So, Happy Birthday - one day late - to the woman responsible for bringing me here. Thanks for this amazing gift of life. May I do everything I can to make each day better than the one before.
What do you think of how we all are turning out? Can you believe that Zachary is old enough to be in the military? What was it like growing up and have a birthday one day apart from Uncle Ernie? What was it like to have five kids by the time you were the age I am now? If you could travel any place in the world, where would it be? When people say we look alike - especially our mannerisms - do you see it? What is the real name for the "pink stuff" dessert we used to eat at Thanksgiving - nobody can seem to remember.
I would sit down and tell her that she was a mother to some of the strongest people I know. I would tell her how I'm amazed that I'm old enough to have a son taller than I am. I would share with her the heartache that went with getting divorced, the confidence that came from making it on my own, and the absolute excitement at building not just a house, but a home for me and JD. I would tell her how thankful I am that Mae-Beth has found Scott and they are going to start a beautiful life together. How he fits right in and made lumpia to add to our Thanksgiving meal. I would tell her how we all know we will cry when we see Maebs in her wedding dress - and we'll be laughing about all of us crying.
If you are fortunate to have your mother into adulthood, I would suggest getting to know her - not just as your mom, but as a person. As someone who has hopes, dreams, thoughts, hurts, disappointments, triumphs, and trials. There might come a time when you wonder about some of these things, but won't have the opportunity ask...
So, Happy Birthday - one day late - to the woman responsible for bringing me here. Thanks for this amazing gift of life. May I do everything I can to make each day better than the one before.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Thanksgiving Cornucopia...
Say it with me - Corn-u-cop-ia...now, isn't that a fun word to say? =)
As I'm sitting here, on this morning before Thanksgiving - having procrastinated almost as much as you can about writing a Thanksgiving blog - I was thinking about all the things I'm thankful for (naturally) and how I could put that into words without sounding the same as every year before hand.
The truth of the matter is, while I am thankful for much of the same things every year, I never want my thankfulness to become routine. I never want it to be words spoken, but never fully appreciating the real value of the gifts I have been blessed with. After all, isn't it the people or things in our life that we've had to sacrifice the most for, or that other people have sacrificed the most for us, which we are most grateful? So, while you read my list items, and notice how many of them will be the same on your list, take some time to specifically remember why these are most valuable to you.
First and foremost - I am thankful for a loving Saviour who sees my faults, my needs, my joys, my sorrows, and meets me where I am. I would not be where I am today without having His hand in my life.
I am thankful that I get to be JD's mom. If he stumbles across this entry, I'm sure it will embarrass him, but I truly feel blessed with him as my child. He makes me laugh, he humbles me with his thoughtfulness - yes, he occasionally has a smart mouth (can't imagine where he gets that from), and all in all he is a 12 year old boy, but a better child I could not have asked for. Each year, I look forward to enjoying right where we are, but also seeing the amazing person he is turning out to be. It's a pretty incredible journey - one I would not trade for all the gold in the world, and one in which I realize just how quickly life can pass, so cherish every moment.
I am grateful - every single day - for my immediate family. Truly only those who lived in our house, will ever really fully understand what that was like and will share those experiences - as is the case with every family. I love that as adult we can call each other friends, and although we are different in some ways, we are alike in ways that make us fundamentally who we are. I never smell honeysuckle or see hydrangeas growing in a yard, without thinking of our youth. I'm proud of all of you and your accomplishments, and although we have all joked that God must have been having an off day or at least a sense of humor kind of day when he mapped out who would be in this family - I actually think He did a darn good job. And on a trash talking side note: I cannot wait until we throw down on our annual Thanksgiving kickball game. Yes, the older sisters usually win, but I think the team Maebs and I are on will have this one...and if not, we've got it next year. Hey, we're younger...eventually we will have youth on our side. That might be when y'all are pushing walkers, but still. ha!
I am thankful for friends who are my family by choice. I have been blessed with a few people who are like family to me. I might not say that I love y'all all the time, but I really do. I a thankful for the ones who have only been in my life a few years, and thankful for those who have stood the test of time. The ones who only know the Kim I am today and the ones who can remember the scraggly skinny blond hair, blue eyes, talk too much, girl I was growing up. Okay, so I still talk a lot. =) And....I REALLY love that so many of y'all have trucks and trailers and have actually volunteered to help me move. Awesome! Don't worry, you'll at least get a dinner out of the deal. Well, and the sense of accomplishment. ha! Seriously, I am thankful for these friendships. I don't even have to name names because y'all know exactly who you are.
Each year, I say I'm thankful for my job - and at the risk of sounding hokey - I am truly very thankful. My job has allowed me to meet some of the very people who fall in the above category. I know - shocking - being real friends with your co-workers. Whoever heard of such nonsense? After all, they are my work family. Heck, we live in cubicle world - there is no way you don't get a little personal information living in cubicle world. I am thankful work at a place where I actually enjoy going to work. Yes, I enjoy my vacation, too. =)
I am grateful for this country I get to call home - and all the men and women in our armed forces who are doing their part to make sure it stays that way. Which this year, stretched to include my oldest nephew, Zachary. I could not be more proud of the decision he made to join the Army. He is currently deployed to Afghanistan for the next year - which leads me to the next thing I am grateful for - all the moms, dads, husbands, wives, sisters, children....who are here trying to make a life while their loved one is away. I pray for the safe return of all of our soldiers, and a peace for all of their family members left here. Too many times, the family members are unsung heroes...doing what needs to be done on the home front.
And last, but certainly not least, I say it all the time and I will say it again. I am truly, wonderfully, overwhelming thankful for this beautiful gift of life. I am thankful each day to get up, have a new start, and forge out the path that will ultimately be my life's journey. I count each day a blessing and I hope to not take a single moment for granted. It reminds of the lyrics to a Rascal Flatts song -
I'm gonna stop looking back, Start moving on
Learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, Make my mark
I want to leave something here
Go out on a ledge without any net
That's what I want to be about
I want to be running when the sand runs out
I hope each of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
As I'm sitting here, on this morning before Thanksgiving - having procrastinated almost as much as you can about writing a Thanksgiving blog - I was thinking about all the things I'm thankful for (naturally) and how I could put that into words without sounding the same as every year before hand.
The truth of the matter is, while I am thankful for much of the same things every year, I never want my thankfulness to become routine. I never want it to be words spoken, but never fully appreciating the real value of the gifts I have been blessed with. After all, isn't it the people or things in our life that we've had to sacrifice the most for, or that other people have sacrificed the most for us, which we are most grateful? So, while you read my list items, and notice how many of them will be the same on your list, take some time to specifically remember why these are most valuable to you.
First and foremost - I am thankful for a loving Saviour who sees my faults, my needs, my joys, my sorrows, and meets me where I am. I would not be where I am today without having His hand in my life.
I am thankful that I get to be JD's mom. If he stumbles across this entry, I'm sure it will embarrass him, but I truly feel blessed with him as my child. He makes me laugh, he humbles me with his thoughtfulness - yes, he occasionally has a smart mouth (can't imagine where he gets that from), and all in all he is a 12 year old boy, but a better child I could not have asked for. Each year, I look forward to enjoying right where we are, but also seeing the amazing person he is turning out to be. It's a pretty incredible journey - one I would not trade for all the gold in the world, and one in which I realize just how quickly life can pass, so cherish every moment.
I am grateful - every single day - for my immediate family. Truly only those who lived in our house, will ever really fully understand what that was like and will share those experiences - as is the case with every family. I love that as adult we can call each other friends, and although we are different in some ways, we are alike in ways that make us fundamentally who we are. I never smell honeysuckle or see hydrangeas growing in a yard, without thinking of our youth. I'm proud of all of you and your accomplishments, and although we have all joked that God must have been having an off day or at least a sense of humor kind of day when he mapped out who would be in this family - I actually think He did a darn good job. And on a trash talking side note: I cannot wait until we throw down on our annual Thanksgiving kickball game. Yes, the older sisters usually win, but I think the team Maebs and I are on will have this one...and if not, we've got it next year. Hey, we're younger...eventually we will have youth on our side. That might be when y'all are pushing walkers, but still. ha!
I am thankful for friends who are my family by choice. I have been blessed with a few people who are like family to me. I might not say that I love y'all all the time, but I really do. I a thankful for the ones who have only been in my life a few years, and thankful for those who have stood the test of time. The ones who only know the Kim I am today and the ones who can remember the scraggly skinny blond hair, blue eyes, talk too much, girl I was growing up. Okay, so I still talk a lot. =) And....I REALLY love that so many of y'all have trucks and trailers and have actually volunteered to help me move. Awesome! Don't worry, you'll at least get a dinner out of the deal. Well, and the sense of accomplishment. ha! Seriously, I am thankful for these friendships. I don't even have to name names because y'all know exactly who you are.
Each year, I say I'm thankful for my job - and at the risk of sounding hokey - I am truly very thankful. My job has allowed me to meet some of the very people who fall in the above category. I know - shocking - being real friends with your co-workers. Whoever heard of such nonsense? After all, they are my work family. Heck, we live in cubicle world - there is no way you don't get a little personal information living in cubicle world. I am thankful work at a place where I actually enjoy going to work. Yes, I enjoy my vacation, too. =)
I am grateful for this country I get to call home - and all the men and women in our armed forces who are doing their part to make sure it stays that way. Which this year, stretched to include my oldest nephew, Zachary. I could not be more proud of the decision he made to join the Army. He is currently deployed to Afghanistan for the next year - which leads me to the next thing I am grateful for - all the moms, dads, husbands, wives, sisters, children....who are here trying to make a life while their loved one is away. I pray for the safe return of all of our soldiers, and a peace for all of their family members left here. Too many times, the family members are unsung heroes...doing what needs to be done on the home front.
And last, but certainly not least, I say it all the time and I will say it again. I am truly, wonderfully, overwhelming thankful for this beautiful gift of life. I am thankful each day to get up, have a new start, and forge out the path that will ultimately be my life's journey. I count each day a blessing and I hope to not take a single moment for granted. It reminds of the lyrics to a Rascal Flatts song -
I'm gonna stop looking back, Start moving on
Learn how to face my fears
Love with all of my heart, Make my mark
I want to leave something here
Go out on a ledge without any net
That's what I want to be about
I want to be running when the sand runs out
I hope each of you have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
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