Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Lace Up Your Shoes And Start Running...Faster Now

Originally Posted October 20, 2008

Okay, so I know I tend to blog a lot about the same things...however, it is just me. Maybe that means God is trying to tell me something and apparently He feels the need to retell me over and over because I'm a little thick headed. In turn, I share it with y'all.

Tonight, I decided to run down the road for something...not literally, but in the car. It was right before the sun was starting to set, and as I headed out I couldn't help but notice just how beautiful it was outside. It just felt clean. I ran my errand, and headed back west - right into the beautiful sunset. I felt like I could drive forever - and just watch the sun go down. It was a sky filled with colors that really have no names...hard to describe because words like, pink, orange, red, with a hint of blue, just don't seem to describe the majestic painting that was there for all to see. Once again...Fall is here.

This is my probably my favorite time of year to run. The air feels clean and crisp, and after months of feeling like you are breathing under water with all the humidity, you really appreciate the change. It's like one day it is 97 degrees with 98% humidity, and the next it is a nice 80 without humidity.

On my drive tonight I once again began to think about how we are all running. We are either running from something or to something, and sometimes we are doing both.
Sometimes we lace up our shoes and just start running trying to outrun ourselves, or someone else, and we have no destination in mind - just running to get away. We run until we can't breathe, until our legs are jelly, until there is no thought but just putting one foot in front of the other and moving. We run so that we don't have to think. We get up, go to work, go through the motions, compartmentalize, run home, do all of our errands, and run until exhausted, we fall asleep - or not. Even then, we are running to something. However, because we are running blindly, we are not creating our destiny, but desperately just trying to stay out of the pot holes, briers, or ditches that come up. We have our heads down, blinders on, and just can't seem to stop for fear that the stray dog that is chasing us just might catch up. We know that if we stop, we are through. We are running out of desperation.

Then there are the times when we lace up, map out our plan, strap on the iPod, drink some water, open the door to a new day, and begin a run that will put us on the path to fulfilling God's greatness in our life. We say a prayer, we put our faith in Him, and we set out. We start at a nice jog, breathe in the fresh clean air, feel our muscles start to kick in, and realize that this will be a fantastic run. We look at the obstacles around us - the pot holes, briers, ditches, stray dogs - and see them for what they really are - just a test for our strength. We look around and see the wondrous mercies that have been afforded us. We take in the scenery. We pick up the pace, wave to the neighbors, run with our head held high, run until our legs start to feel stronger, until our lungs are filled with praise, until our heart starts to beat with His. We run until we realize that while we might have mapped out a plan, He has a greater one. He has a plan that might not lead us where we thought - as a matter of fact, it probably won't - yet, we look around and can see that you are right where you are supposed to be. We are running out of praise, out of love, out of thankfulness, out of excitement for the future.

I have been in both pairs of shoes...on both paths. I ran out of desperation. I ran until I realized that unless I am running out of love, I'm not going to be able to complete the course. I ran until, exhausted, I finally decided that nothing, not even the pot holes, briers, and dogs, could be worse than that feeling. Nothing could be worse than always trying to run faster - and not being able to outrun the true reason I felt couldn't stop - because no matter how fast I ran, I couldn't outrun myself. I woke up and realized that I was so tangled up in everything, that I was really running in place, like on a treadmill, and it would never end. I took off the blinders, looked around, and promptly broke down.

Then thankfully, I began to run again. I began to move in a new way, with new thoughts, with new beginnings. I stepped off the treadmill, and hit the road. I gave it over, and now I no longer run alone. I always have Him there to guide me. I have Him to run ahead, check out the path, and tell me how to proceed. Now, do I always go with the plan? I would like to say, yes, however, sometimes I forget that I don't have to do it on my own. You know what, though? As soon as I come back to my senses, He is still there waiting. Always waiting for me. Always reminding me that the path ahead will lead to good things. Always telling me that even when it's raining, when the mosquitoes are out, when the sun is so hot it is almost like the pavement is melting, when the path is bumpy, He is right there.

So, tonight, I am thankful. I'm thankful for this beautiful weather, thankful for this beautiful life. I am most thankful for His plan for my life. I am ready to put on my running shoes and continue to run into my destiny. The one that is created just for me - not out of desperation, but out of love. I am thankful that I don't have to do it on my own, because truly I am not that strong.

I hope y'all have a wonderful night! I am so looking forward to literally putting on my running shoes tomorrow, and taking it outside! Woo hoo!

Grilling Out...Starting Fires?

Originally Posted July 2, 2008


Ok, so I think the exact quote was - "Mama, this is so fun. This is so exciting!! This is the first time we've grilled out that we didn't start a fire!!!". You know...kids don't forget a darn thing, ever! Two times of almost starting fires with a grill and you're forever labeled as a danger. Geez!

Most of y'all know the bad grilling stories, so I won't get back into that now, but needless to say, after 4 years, I decided to try my hand at grilling again. This time I prepared though. I read the "Girls Guide to Grilling" over the weekend, even bought myself a grilling spatula. I bought my grill AND put it together myself. Ok, so it only cooks four or five hamburgers at once, but I still put it together. I got everything else together, grabbed my grill, my new spatula, the long lighter, and went outside to light the grill.

Let me insert here that I'm glad Johnny was coming up at that moment to drop JD off because I had bought the smallest bag of charcoal and it said to use the whole bag and I am a rule follower to fault. However, Johnny took one look at the bag and said it would fill my whole grill up with charcoal, so half a bag was all I needed. Now I have enough for another time. Anyways, off track in this story again...

The grill is lit and HOLY SMOKES some good flames came up, but I was reassured that was right. JD and I sat on the steps and watched the charcoal turn white and talked. He thinks that in the future we will have instagrills that cook burgers in seconds on a charcoal grill. I reminded him that if it only took seconds we wouldn't be able to sit outside talking like we were - and let me tell you, JD and I can do a LOT of talking in an hour outside with no TV, cell phones, Nintendos or other items to distract us from our communication skills. Plus, he was a good runner. I made him get the pans and stuff I needed while I watched our burgers - then hot dogs - then sausage. I might have cooked too much.

Laura, Scott, the kids, and the dog came over to share in our "Kim and JD celebrate the 4th of July Spectacular on July 1st". That is why we were grilling out. JD will be with Johnny and he wanted to celebrate 4th of July with me, too. So, in our unconventional way, we did. I only dropped 2 hot dogs,which Buffy was happy about. I guess I need more utensils than just a spatula. =)

The true test came when we sat down to eat. Holy smokes, it was good. It was really really good. It was good enough that at 5:00 this morning, JD wakes up and says "Mom, those burgers last night were DELICIOUS!!!". That is another thing...diet Sunkist has caffeine in it. I didn't realize that until right before bed last night. Both of us drank enough diet Sunkist to float a boat, so we were awake a LOT! It was worth it.

I'm glad we don't have those insta-grills, yet. If so, I wouldn't have been sitting there minding my own burgers when JD says "Mama, this is so fun. This is so exciting!! This is the first time we've grilled out that we didn't start a fire!!!". I laughed until I almost cried. He was serious, and it was funny. Then I said "Well son, I've still got time. Let's don't count our chickens until all our food is inside and the grill is cool." We both laughed at that.

All in all, I would have to say our cook-out went off pretty good. Heck, who knows? I could become professional grill master. Well...maybe not so much.
This life is a beautiful one!

Celebrating Life...

Originally Posted December 6, 2007

We all know what tomorrow is for our country, but tomorrow is an important day in my life for another reason. It is on this day 60 years ago that my mother was born. Wow...I can hardly believe that my mom would have been 60 tomorrow. I can't picture her at that age.

In all honesty, how I usually picture her is on this day 10 years ago, when we celebrated her 50th birthday. All of my sisters were in town, which was a very rare occasion. It was cold, much like today. I was 18 and thought I owned the world. I was only a few short months away from being married and believed that everything would work out perfectly. On this night though we went to McGuire's.

I've thought about my mom this evening. It is strange how time can change a memory and what was once so fresh in your mind, is now a fading impression of what used to be. I can't really remember her laugh anymore, yet, I can fully hear her saying "KIMBERLY SUZETTE!!!".

In some ways I am so confident in my role as mother. I realize that no matter what happens in life - whether your mom was Mom of the Year every year your whole life, or if your mom seriously lacked in areas, the bottom line is that no one will ever be your mother. As a woman, it is especially hard sometimes to know that no one on this Earth is supposed to love you like your mom and when that person is gone, who is supposed to fill that spot? Who is the person that was there when you were born, held your hand when you were hurt, took pictures of your first prom, taught you about life - in some good ways and in bad, was supposed to love everything about you inside and out? We learn a lot from our mothers. Sometimes we want to grow up and be exactly who they were, sometimes we want to take their mistakes and not make them ours. No matter what, the bottom line is that you only have one mother.

So tonight, if your mom is still here, maybe you should give her a call. After all, that night 10 years ago, I really had no way of knowing how much life would change - and just how quick. No way of knowing that in just under 2 and a half years later, when I was just 21 and she was just 52, that my mom would no longer be here. And that honestly, what she taught me in the end, is that sometimes things really don't "just work out". Sometimes things are left unresolved and you just have to believe that God is still in control. You just have to believe that God knew how things would end. Then you have to make a promise to yourself to try and live everyday with a fullness of life and a thankful heart. You have to decide to make the past the past and go on.

So, tomorrow, this time 60 years ago, in essence started a life that would ultimately bring me where I am today. And for that, I am thankful beyond what I can even articulate. I am thankful for this opportunity at life. I am thankful that I can be a mom to my son. I thank her, for giving me this chance.
I thank you Lord for making me whole.

~Especially tonight - this life is a beautiful one!~

Talents

Posted December 4, 2007

If God gives us all talents and gifts to use to serve Him, I've often wondered what mine are. I mean, let's face it...I sing loud, but not well. I can definitely play a musical instrument, but it's been a while. Ok, so I can worship. Actually, I love to worship. However, when you think about conventional talents, I often think that I lack in this department. I can make people laugh, but is that a talent? I'm not so certain. I think I can be a great listener (hard to believe with as much as I talk, huh?), but really that's not a talent. I tend to attract strangers in Wal-Mart. I mean, not guys hitting on me in Wal-Mart although that does occasionally happen. I mean that people just walk up to me and start talking to me, not just in Wal-Mart, but in all public places. Is that a talent? It's kind of bizarre, but not what one would consider a talent. And before you jump to conclusions, NO, I don't start talking to them first. I really can't explain it. I don't really even notice it anymore, usually someone I'm with will say "Did you notice that 4 people have come up and talked to you since we've been here - and that's not including the 3 people you saw that you knew?" Is being friendly a talent?

Anyways, I looked up the word "talent" to see what it is defined as...."a special often creative aptitude - a marked innate ability". So, I naturally talk...a lot..is that a talent? I think some would consider it a challenge. ha!

Well, all this pondering lead me to thinking about how God has made each of us different. No two of us are the same. Yes, I know that we've all heard that over and over since the time we were little, but have you ever really stopped to think about what that meant? Ever really took a moment to think about how awesome it is that our Creator took the time to make each of us in a unique way that ultimately is pleasing to Him? Wow...that is kind of refreshing. That means that bump in my nose, or my crooked pinkie fingers *yes, they look kind of funny* was done on purpose. That means that my huge feet for such a short person, were not a mistake. That means the fact that I can talk to almost anyone one on one perfectly fine - could even entertain a whole room of people, but get me up front and make me believe that everyone has to listen to me and I break out in hives - Holy smokes! That was done of purpose! Hmmmmm.....that also means that I was given a unique personality, complete with unique thoughts. I was made to be exactly the person that I am. That also means that even if I don't see my talents right off, that God placed them in me for a reason. That is such an interesting concept. If you really think about it, maybe you'll appreciate the things about yourself that make you unique. I mean, hey if God thought to put that there, who am I to argue?

I guess that means I'll continue to talk to strangers at Wal-Mart, listen to their stories on their lives, help them pick out candles, give them a quick smile. Heck, maybe the only person who was nice to them that day was me. Could you imagine how sad it would be to know that the only person you talked to all day, or who took an interest in you at all, was a stranger at a grocery store? How much sadder would it be if that stranger had walked away unaware that they had an opportunity to brighten some one's day?

We all have some kind of gifts to bring to the table, why not celebrate that?

Lessons Learned...

Posted October 21, 2007

Here are somethings I've learned in my 28 and a half years here:

Being happy is a choice. Sometimes if you can make yourself smile, you really will feel better. However, sometimes crying is just the thing you will need. My child thinks I'm awesome - he's my biggest fan, and I'm his. I can't change things that happened as a child, but I can learn from them. I can forgive people, too. I'm going to need that same forgiveness. Sometimes, you meet someone and they are a jerk....they aren't going to change just for you. Sometimes your first impression is right on the mark. Sometimes you need to revise that first impression, or you might miss out on something good. An ordinary day can turn into a day that you look back on and know that it was a defining moment in your life. Be prepared. You need a sense of humor. It's ok to laugh at yourself, shoot I'm my biggest source of entertainment. Everyone does not think like me - and that works both ways. I'm not always right. Sometimes I'm right and I don't need to tell everyone that - but sometimes I do. Being a single mom is hard work, heck being a parent period is hard work. It is sooooo worth it! Life isn't best played on the sidelines. Older men and married men seem to think I'm a catch. Somehow that doesn't make me feel any better. =) Cheeseburgers only feel good for a few minutes. Exercise feels good for a long time. Jumping rope was way easier as a kid. There is nothing wrong with just being me. I still don't like to do laundry. I still have to do laundry. Singing in the car makes me relax...and the other drivers get a good laugh. God really does have a plan. Sometimes it just seems like it takes forever for that plan to be revealed. The train is always going to be the longest one ever when you are running late getting back from lunch. You can spend everyday wishing for something else and never take the time to appreciate where you are today. Unhappy people generally blame everyone else. Kindness goes a long way. I will make mistakes and misjudge people. I will get my heart broken. Every now and then, I'm going to just have a bad day. With a little nudge I would be adventurous. I am a great mom. Above all else...once again...God really does have a plan and it really is worth it.

Waking Up Worrying...

Originally Posted October 2, 2007

I find it amazing sometimes how you can read something, and then when you least expect it, that will come rushing back to you so clearly that you know it was meant for that exact moment.
This morning, I woke up at the great time of 3:30. I know, I know...what am I doing up that early? Well, honestly, I woke up worrying. There are a lot of things going on this week and being the over analyzer that I am, I woke up trying to figure out the future. A funny thing happened though...I woke up and headed down the worrying path, when suddenly this thought came to my head

"Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?"

I almost started laughing at the irony. Here I am, wide awake at 3:30, trying to worry about things that I have no control over, and into my mind pops a scripture that I've read a hundred times. Did I go back to sleep? Well, of course not. I didn't worry like I was, but once I'm up - I'm pretty much up, so I went and got a nice relaxing bath instead.

Well, tonight I decided to look that scripture up and reread that passage. What touched my heart is not so much the part that I remembered, but the part a little ways after....

"Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? And why worry about your clothing? Look at the lilies of the field and how they grow. They don't work or make their clothing, yet Solomon in all his glory was not dressed as beautifully as they are. And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?...Seek the kingdom of God above all else and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need. Matthew 6:27-30 & 33

Once again, I am truly amazed by how the mind works. However, I am even more amazed at how God works. So, tonight, I am considering the lilies, and thanking God that He already has everything under control. As the Bible says, if He takes care of the flowers, how much more so does He love and want to take care of me?

Now, I'm off to sleep....after all, I've been up since 3:30. =)

Random Events...

Originally Posted July 12, 2007

So, these are just random things that have happened to me in the last few days.....
Monday, my friend Theresa and I went to lunch. As we are leaving the gentleman (loose term here) behind the counter sees my work badge and says "Is that an old picture of you?" I smile and say "Actually, it was just from April". He takes a second looks at me and says "You look better with long hair. You need to let it grow back out. Oh, and you look older in person." At which point I just smile and say "Why thank you, sir, I'll keep that in mind." That was hilarious. I definitely wasn't expecting that one!

Yesterday I went to get my oil changed. It was just a tiny bit overdue (ok, maybe it's more than a tiny bit overdue, but there's only one person who knows for sure how long it's been and they better not be talking... )and I knew I needed to get it changed, so I went on my lunch break to take care of that. I went to one of those 10 minute oil change places and there was no wait...what a blessing! Then came the part I hate...when they try to sell you all kinds of extra things to where my $35 oil change would have cost $391. Sometimes I wonder if I were a guy (not that I want to be a guy thank you very much...I'm extremely happy being me) if they would treat me the same way. Needless to say, the guy came in about 5 times and tried his best to get me to buy all kinds of things. Well, I left....w/only the $35 oil change. I was so proud of myself for taking care of my stuff. Then, I get back to work and look down....I ruined one of my favorite pair of pants. They had black oily stuff on the legs. I pulled out my Tide pen and got most of it off, but it was still there. As my pants are drying someone comes by and tells me that we have to go visit a couple of departments. The departments recently hired new employees and their managers wanted them to meet me.....great....meet new people with dirty pants! Luckily, I hadn't sat in anything - that would come later.

After work, Veronica asked me if I would ride to Hobby Lobby with her. Which I've got to say...I love V, but I hate Hobby Lobby. I said yes and we decided to eat our standard O'Charlie's salads before we went in to Hobby Lobby. Now you have to understand, when we go to O'Charlies it's like time slows down when they see us coming. We are always there for a long time and we never order anything but salads, so why it takes so long....I'm not certain. Anyways, we are sitting there laughing up a storm and there are 2 guys at the table behind us. One turns around and wants to know if they could buy us a "Pinktini" drink because they want to see what it looks like, but neither one wants to drink a pink drink. Well, we said sure. Before you jump to conclusions....No, these guys were not hitting on us. If they had been hitting on us, we wouldn't have allowed them to buy the drink. We just don't play that way...she's married and I'm not interested. They didn't even really say anything else after the drink came out. Well, since V was driving, I took a sip thinking I would just humor the guys who paid $8 for a drink. Turns out, the drink is good. I ended up drinking it.....which in turn made me VERY sleepy and a little extra giggly!

We left and went to Hobby Lobby, which always makes me feel seriously inadequate. I can make up stories and songs off the top of my head, but ask me to prepare a craft and I break out in hives. It's like this.....when people like Veronica and Laura walk into Hobby Lobby it's like the heavens part and angels sing for the chosen children have come home. When I walk in it is almost like the old west town where the whole town closes up and tumble weed rolls down the street because something bad is about to happen. Well, we made our purchases quickly and leave...at which point V says "When did you get all that stuff on the back of your pants?" Yes, for all of those who think it's funny when someone sits in something, I had somehow gotten black stuff on the back and side of my pants......needless to say, the pants are ruined!

Then today, I get up early to go to Krispy Kreme. We had a department meeting at work and I needed to stop and pick up doughnuts. I arrive at Krispy Kreme at 6:30 where I promptly do the mexican stand off with the only two workers in the store....I stare at them and they stare at me for about five minutes before one of them decides I must be a real customer trying to buy real doughnuts. I politely tell the young lady that I need a dozen assorted doughnuts and a dozen glazed, when I hear "I'm sorry, we don't have doughnuts". I thought I had heard wrong, so I ask again. She says "I said we don't have any glazed doughnuts". I immediately look around like maybe I am not really in a doughnut shop. She tells me I can come back in 20-30 minutes and then they will have doughnuts. I just smiled and walked with a look of amazement on my face out the door. I mean, that's like going into Starbucks and being told they don't have coffee!! I came back about an hour later, ordered the doughnuts and a frozen coffee and the same lady gets my frozen coffee. When I ask her for a lid, she comes back and says "We didn't have any regular lids, so I took the scissors and cut a hole in this one for you" as long as it works....

I think sometimes God allows bizarre things to happen to me because He knows that I am going to get a good kick out of it!